I'm Still Standing, with Bent Knees, But Still Standing!

It's been the roughest month of my life

Most of you know about the passing of my dad a few weeks ago. That was honestly pretty hard to overcome. Dealing with unruly deadlines at work and not having time to grieve like I hoped for. But I was able to deal with it and keep my sanity pretty well.

But I had been ignoring a little voice in the back of my mind for a couple of months. And after his memorial service that voice only got louder. And in fact over the recent holiday weekend here in the United States that voice became a thunderous chorus and basically smacked me across the face with a baseball bat.

It hit me so hard that I will be reeling from the effects of it for months if not years to come.

So what happened?

A little over a month ago I noticed that I seemed to be gaining weight. Nothing out of the ordinary since I had just a change up of my normal runs at work. Less manual labor and more sitting will make that kind of thing happen.

In the past I would kind of hit a plateau and everything would continue on as normal. But not this time. It seemed like no matter what I ate it just kept piling on. Then my doctor changed up my meds and that's when everything went haywire. I was experiencing very low blood sugars. Almost had Pancreatitis (inflammation of the Pancreas). In that time I had gone from 240 lbs to 300 lbs! While eating like a bird. There was something very seriously wrong. I looked and felt like a giant water balloon.

I thought that I would just tough it out through the holiday weekend and then just do extra walking over the new week that I could pull through it. I should have done something when I tried to mow the yard but couldn't finish because of the pain in my side and extreme shortness of breath. But I calmed down and pushed the thought out of my stubborn head. I'm a tough guy, I can handle a little pain and out of breath.

But that all changed on Monday morning

I woke as usual and had my coffee. Made eggs, toast and sausage for myself and the dogs. Yes, I make my dogs a fancy breakfast. They are family too! Everything was normal until I went to the bathroom. Without being graphic and too adult content, lets just say that when you retain that much fluid it doesn't always go in your ankles and calves. Other body parts will swell too!!

Which normally a guy would be all like "Hell yeah! Eat that Mr Holmes"! But when that's the part that stays the same size but the part below it is blown up and looks like a small basketball. You will absolutely freak out!

I didn't give my wife time to eat breakfast. She ate a banana on the way to the emergency room. I was finally admitted to the hospital around 5pm and as I sit here writing this on Wednesday afternoon I am still here. It's looking like it will be Thursday by the time they release me and I will be home and probably be recording the audio of this by Friday.

So listen to this weekends Loud & Proud on @mspwaves I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a fun one.

So what is the diagnosis? What did this to you?

Well, the short answer is ME. I'm the one who did this. My lifestyle and what I put in my body hasn't always been the smart things. But the official diagnosis is Anasarca. Which is technically a symptom of something else and not a diagnosis. Typically a symptom of heart failure or some other major organ failure. In my case it's the heart.

While I have not had a heart attack according to the barrage of CT and echocardiograms I have an ejection fraction (EF) on my left ventricle of 20-25%. And it is moderately dilated. I also have global hypokinesis with anterior akinesis but no thrombosis. What the hell does all that mean? It means that my left ventricle isnt working good enough. They are giving me a Lifevest to wear because of my occasional arrhythmia. And then I have to do a cath to get a closer look at my ventricle.

Long story short I will be off of work for around 2-3 months. So I will have to find something to do for money or find a way to earn more online. Either way I wont be sitting still because I am not that kind of guy. I don't do well being bored. Just ask the hospital staff that I have been driving crazy the last couple of days, LOL!

In other news @aureal is very close to releasing live rooms!