I Haven't Eaten Yet Because Of My Appetiteloss But I Have To Force Myself

Watching on how to make a pizza makes me feel frustrated on how I couldn't make it for myself and how it is really frustrating too on how I couldn't eat some because it is forbidden for me to have cheese because of its high phosphorus content.

So I would just have to content myself with a stir-fried noodles that I always eat for my breakfast. My mother used to buy it for me and I would eat it until I am satiated enough and I would not eat again until noon time. Often my mother would ask me three times if I wanted to eat already or not but on the third time I will have to say yes because at that point she will be heading to bed and I will not get the opportunity to eat.

But often times I would just eat because I have to and not that I like it because of the kind of meals that my mother prepares. It is not the meals but the way they cook it is what I do not like because my parents are not good cooks.

When my mother was still single it was my grandfather that cooks, she was only the one who does the chores at home like feeding the pigs or even gathering firewoods but not cooking. She just learned cooking because of my godmother who taught her but I myself learned from my mother and even read her cookbook.

I remember the Asado dish that she cooks before and it tasted good but now she is not cooking it the way she is doing it even the parboiled chicken in vinegar and garlic doesn't taste like before. So it adds to my undesire to eat especially now that I am suffering from appetiteloss which I might die from without getting an improvement with it.