Specially for MEN! Save yourself a visit to the doctor; DIY Urine-test

in funny •  2 months ago 

Even if you have a great relationship with your doctor, you probably aren’t aching to be in his office any more than you have to be.
And why should you be?
Doctors’ offices often come with long waits.
And instead of running to a doctor for a smaller problem or ailment, here is already a fine example of a proven do-it-yourself Urine-test that you can try first, simply at home, no M.D. required.


afbeelding.png


Get outside and find yourself a nice and quiet spot in your backyard. It can be near a tree, a bush, whatever suits you and where you don't get bothered.

Take your Joystick out and "drain your main vein".


Now if, before you have finished, the spot is almost instantly crowded with ants, it's almost certainly
DIABETES


If your feet get soaking wet it's probably the
PROSTATE


If the whole area around you (yourself included) is covered
TOURETTE SYNDROME


When it smells like barbeque ...
CHOLESTEROL


Having finished and shaking it a little, whilst getting pain in the wrist:
ARTHRITIS


And finally;
entering the house and 'Herman von Longschlongenstein' still hanging out
ALZHEIMER

Wish you all a healthy leak.

Next patient please.


source: fr.123rf.com & everydayhealth.com


smassshwashere.png

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It's been a long time since I've visited the doctors and now i'm over the hill, I should probably go see one for a check up - or just piss on a few ants :D

Good to see something from you Smasshy, hope all is well.

A couple of nice beers every now and then and you'll stay fine mate.

Am ok man, thanks, just a bit (over)loaded with work lately.

Cheers Doc, got one on the go at present :)

Keeping busy at work is never a bad thing I guess, as long as you some time to relax too.

Cheers then.

No, it's just a big project I'm on (fun to do though) with a couple of good guys, but with (a) strict deadline(s). Reason why I'm less active here ... (for now), hahaha.

So by just peeing with your joystick you can find out how many ailments one has what a discovery, this should be added to mathematica encyclopaedia 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you're the greatest sir Smasssh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

With my (and grandma's) tips and tricks, the costs of health care can be cut in half I think ... 🤣🤣

'if the spot is almost instantly crowded with ants,'

And when they run like hell away right after that, it could be Corona virus ...

More than half lol my malaria is cured already 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hahaha!! Okay my male friends needs to see this lol...🤪. Good to see you!! 😇

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I hope your male friends do not have all the same symptoms as described above ...🤣🤣

Lol...well I hope not..🤤😂😂

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I just laughed for quite few minutes after reading this. Thanks for sharing such fun. Have a good day.

Nice to hear you liked it, a great day to you too.

  ·  2 months ago (edited)

I loved your photo funny stories.
But you are even better with words.
Ty for making me laugh.

Thanks Oleg, good to see you're back.

Nice to see you too.

Smasssh the doc!!!! It will be awesome having a doc with a humour like yours in a hospital, patients will walk out laughing their asses off. Pee's do really smell like barbecue wow....I guess im free from those symptoms lol...

Been a while, hope work is going well...and you too....huggz

A laugh (most times) is the best medication or cure to recover.

Coming week is normal. The 4 weeks right after that again very busy. But I'm not complaining.
Take care mate.

Herman von Longschlongenstein

With his German 'Feuerwehr' helmet on. 😄

First I hit the oak tree, had not seen it. Then had to scratch the hair in my hands, it itched badly. Almost could not get the one eyed monster out.

When I tried to water the plants a burning sensation made me scream. Only to wet my paints, as I had forgotten I still had not taken the spank monkey out.

All in all just an ordinary day really.

You know him too? 🤣🤣

Yes, he's quite famous, have given him a hand on many occasions. 😂

The desciption in your first comment; It's all him; good old Herman with his LongSchlong.

Blessed he be. May his nose dripping soon be healed.

Anders weten deze dames wel raad ...

#nl "...Met n tak dille tussn de billn zoa iedereene wel willn..."

Hahaha geweldig, de onderlinge concurrentie, het ging er hard aan toe. En de vraag bleef: Dille, is het een oppepper, een slaapverwekker of een lustopwekker.

En om het goede antwoord dan ook te delen...

Het kruid dille heeft een aantal medicinale eigenschappen. Het is rijk aan vitamine A, vitamine C, mangaan, calcium, ijzer en magnesium. Het kan helpen tegen hoofdpijn, slapeloosheid en kan verschillende gisten, schimmels en bacteriën doden.

Bron: https://www.msn.com/nl-nl/gezondheid/voeding/de-geneeskrachtige-werking-van-dille/

Als wij samen een rubriek/community hier starten dan kan Dr A. Vogel z'n tent wel sluiten 😂

HE SWEET BUT DIRTY MIND ONLINE FRIEND, je bent corona vergeten ,