Metal butterfly - day 620 Freewrite

almost 5 years ago (Edited)

My free write for @mariannewest 5 minute 🆓 write challenge day 620 - prompt 'metal butterfly'

A metal butterfly
Caught my eye
The sun glinted off it just so
I wondered at the beauty of it
It was sitting there like the ornament it was meant to be
The colors in the metal glinted steel blues and green hues
It was certainly something special
Made out of love if you look at it closer
The details on the wings
The various metals used
The beauty of it all
Astounded me for a while
I wish for such a metal butterfly of my own
Where shall you hang it I can hear you sigh
I walk away seeing it in my mindseye
I'll find a special place
One where it would be safe
I'll but a bench close enough
So I can sit and stare at it when I feel out of touch
This metal butterfly has caught my breath
As the sun glints of the wings and it looks ready for flight
I know after seeing this that I won't give up the fight

https://partiko.app/mariannewest/day-620-freewrite-prompt-metal-butterfly-r8y3eaca?referrer=dkkarolien

https://www.pexels.com/@isabella-mariana-1022505

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freewritepoetry freewrite challenge poetry palnet partiko

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13 comments

@momzillanc 62

almost 5 years ago (Edited)

Well penned. I love your imagery. I recommend another editing pass for some corrections. I would suggest trying to shorten the longer lines and find a rhythm that works spoken aloud with your rhymes.

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@dkkarolien 68

almost 5 years ago

Thanks. I'm by far no poet. I just love the Freewrite challenges for making me think. Appreciate the advice and thanks for stopping by

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@momzillanc 62

almost 5 years ago (Edited)

You're welcome. Hope it was helpful

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@dkkarolien 68

almost 5 years ago

Mmmm I saw the mistakes now thanks. It was nearly midnight when I posted. Incidentally our Afrikaans word for you is jou. Guess my spellchecker thought it was being clever. 😂

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@dreemsteem 74

almost 5 years ago

mmmmmm lovely :)

i have a picture of a metal butterfly that is super important to me :) thanks for sharing your poetry :)

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@dkkarolien 68

almost 5 years ago

My pleasure. Glad you enjoyed it. ❤️

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@steemitboard 66

almost 5 years ago

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@carolkean 69

almost 5 years ago

If toy airplanes have wings of tin, why not metal butterflies?
At art shows, I've seen so many awesome creatures made of riveted scrap metal. My favorite is this bull - which doubles as a grill!

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@dkkarolien 68

almost 5 years ago

True that. I also love metal creations. I have quite a few of my own that I've collected but unfortunately I had to put all my stuff in storage when we moved to Mauritius from South Africa.

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@carolkean 69

almost 5 years ago

I feel your pain - putting your personal treasures in storage - and some people just give them away or sell them. I still have baby clothes, toys, piles of books, and useless things that acquire value simply by having been handled and used over the years by my parents, grandparents, children... #detachment, I have not achieved.

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