A week of going in and out of government offices has had me aging in seconds. Agitated to the edge of a cliff that I get to choose if I care enough about how they operate for me to jump off of it or not. And I would too if I was the only one but I wasn't. They were hundreds of us.

As the systems are easing up and adulthood has come with a bit of structure, I am hunting for my mum's death certificate. Her death found me in my teens and unknowing that I'll need this seemingly important piece of paper. My grandparents were too busy raising the eight orphans they accumulated in just two years to be bothered but my grandfather made sure he kept the original burial permit to make the journey easier when either of us decided to take it.

Being the eldest and looking to apply for a passport twenty years later, here I am forging that journey. It's an intimidating process of sarcastic questions from people who know nothing about one's personal to the now. In my mind, I was sarcastically answering them too like...

Where have you been all these years?

My mum passed when I was 15. Eeeer, I have been growing up. Sigh!

Did you recently get involved with anything that makes you want the death certificate now?

It's my favourite's girl death certificate, shouldn't I like be having it? Being her eldest offspring and all?

Why didn't your relatives apply one for you back in the day?

I can get you their numbers so that you can ask them yourself.

And so on... but in reality, I was abiding to every oppressive comment and doing my best to maintain a fake smile at all times as they repeatedly said they don't serve gloomy faces.

The days have been longer and the nights shorter. I hope tomorrow (last appointment or else I fill in some affidavits and show up in a court) it does actually turn.

Other than that, I have been doing well I guess. Looking forward to recharge with a few days of solitude and everything as my oldest joins college today. The house is now all mine when they are in school.