Me, Insecurities

in freewrite •  2 months ago 

Portrait1.jpg


I have so many insecurities. One of them is my eyelids.



I first noticed it when I was 13. I was looking at the mirror and noticed that my right eyelid looks different than the left one. It has two creases, while the left one has only one. Which I think makes me look sleepy on the right side and alive on the left side.

I began looking at people's eyelids and I noticed they look the same. I know our eyes aren't exactly identical, but the difference of mine is too obvious it made me feel insecure about it. I didn't like it.

Nobody actually said anything about it, but I still didn't like it. I grew up being conscious about it and made sure my eyelids look normal in pictures. (I can adjust it to look like it has only one crease but in normal days it just looks like that).


Fairness

For most of my life, I've always been concerned about fairness. I'm usually the first to shout UNFAIR! when something gets unfair lol. Food with my siblings, rules in class, everywhere. I was quite obsessed with it that I applied it in my own body.

Our bodies will always have that one part that's bigger than the other. One part will always be darker than the other. They will never be 100% the same. I know that for most of my life, but it's hard for me to accept because I want everything to be fair.

Perfectionism, I think, is a virus and it has infected me. Why do we always think perfection is attainable? Obviously, life will never be fair and it won't be perfect. I don't know where I'm going with this writing but it's good to show you one of my insecurities that I usually never talk about.

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In a nutshell, it's always a little painful having that feature that makes us a little distinctive. For me it was obviously my ears and my teeth and how they aren't so goodly shaped "some people tell me, oh you could have been a good model if you had good ears and set perfect teeth.

But well that's life that's life, your eyelids are unique and it should not count for imperfect. It's just how differently Unique we are.

I enjoyed reading this

Oh, I can see that! You have nice cheekbones. There's no such thing as perfect teeth, but it's a bit sad how we expect something to be perfect... and yeah I am changing my perspective on things.. thanks for the compliment!

Definitely, thanks for the compliment too, it's obviously More Fufiling to know that we're not all shades of perfection but in our different ways we Still are unique and in this case we're proud of it

If you hadn't said about your eyelid I wouldn't have noticed. These imperfections make people beautiful, unique and real. You're beautiful 😘

Thank you! I think it’s really not that noticeable but I still made a big deal out of it anyways lol

I think real beauty is in the imperfections. I know that this is not what your post is about but perfection for me takes away all character and be it in looks or other features it ends up just being bland. I have a similar thing going on with my eyes with one seeming more closed than the other and as I get tireder it is more pronounced.

True, I’m slowly looking at those what we consider imperfections as beautiful now but I still have a long way to go when looking at my own. I feel relieved knowing I’m not alone with the eyes thing lol

That's you in the image...And you have insecurities?

I believe we are all flawed, every single one of us...And it's those flaws that make us uniquely perfect.

You're lucky you don't have a head like mine, you'd want to wear a paper bag all the time. Lol. Still, it is what it is, so we may as well own it huh?

(Curated for curangel)

Yeah, I think all of us are insecure about something at some point, but I just have so many negative beliefs about myself, even though I know there will always be people who would see nothing wrong in me. It is true that we should own it and those flaws make us unique.. It's just that I've been living with negative beliefs about myself for so long that it's so hard to get rid of now. Changing perspective is what I've been doing though. And I'm proud to say Steem and the people on Steem are few of the reasons I am becoming more comfortable about myself.

That's good to hear, that your perspective about yourself is changing...Seems like you're on the right track. We all have something positive and good to present, we have to believe it in ourselves first though, before others will.

Have a great weekend hiddenblade...Own it.

✅😉

Beauty in the imperfection. Brilliant.