Recipe - Friday 5 Minute Freewrite

Today's Day 861: 5 Minute Freewrite: Friday - Prompt: toe jam provided by @mariannewest. I am trying to still process what happened yesterday so was not able to get my freewrite for yesterday done until now. I am posting this one first though as I like it and find it to be a bit silly.

And at @wakeupkitty's suggestion I am submitting this for the The Fourth Nonsense Writing Contest by @rycharde.

Toe Jam
Origins : unknown, presumed Roman
(This recipe was found in a Roman crypt and has been translated and updated to current available materials.)

In a large vessel combine:
2 kilos foot detritus
1/2 kilo belly button muck
4 kilos sugar juice
2 ground horse hooves
1/2 kilo crushed berry of choice

Bring to a boil over a large fire and hold for 15 minutes. On a clean swept marble floor pour contents into a corral and let cool. When cool cut into pieces to be salt coated and stored.

(Note from translator: The recipe produces a Jello like product that is suitable for use as a jam or jelly but is stable and able to be salted for long term storage. No known examples have been discovered.)

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