Delusions

in #esteem10 months ago (edited)

"Well, if you're trying to HELP OTHERS or DO GOOD FOR HUMANITY without hurting or manipulating anyone, then you are AWESOME. Even if someone isn't great at their social media work, their mission is what's most important, as that creates positive influence. Insert like 3 heart emojis, a strong arm, and a pound... or don't, please." Source -@steemmatt



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Greetings Steemians,

This topic has been on my mind quite a bit today after discovering that a stranger I helped out stole some change from me.

I have some family members that are thieves, and the logic to justify their behavior never makes any sense to me. They tend to not trust others, and project it onto others without even realizing where it's coming from. People like this are full of hypocrisy, and it's not just thievery, it can be attributed to manipulators as well. (and many/most thieves are manipulators.)

I've struggled with this duality of selflessness concept if you will, the idea that selfless acts are truly selfish, because doing something which makes you feel good is in all respects a little selfish, even if it's selfless service to others. I broke this down with some psychology talk in this earlier post.

To sum it up, I think there is nothing wrong with the selfish attributes of selflessness, because the common collective agreement is selfless service to others is good.

I do believe many people are delusional however, in that there is selfish motive involved in their selfless efforts.

When discussing this with others in the past, I've received quite a bit of disagreement, which is fine because I like to argue debate topics in a respectful manner.

When I hear things like "People who help others do not get paid enough for their efforts" in these debates, I have to say "Whoooahh.. but I thought this wasn't about what the person helping could gain?"

And this is the delusion I am talking about..

For example:

If someone is writing self help articles on Steem, and they decide to quit because Steem value is not high enough, (for them) or they are not pleased with their post rewards, then what are their motives?

If they are open and honest and say "look I'm doing this for me, and if it helps someone else great, but it's about me, and I'm not willing to do it for small pay."

Then I will have more respect for them, but that isn't always the case..

Sometimes people push these narratives that they are all about helping others, and selflessness, but when you really pay attention to their behavior, certain selfish things become clear.

Who are these types lying to? Themselves or others, or is it simply a delusion, a delusion influenced by the system we live in. A system of competition and greed, indoctrination and falsities?

People are easily swayed and manipulated into conforming to certain ideologies, and if you disagree and say "Well I'm not!" Then great, you are a minority. Just look at a classroom setting with children. If you do not conform as a child, the rest will laugh at you and influence you in a negative way to conform, and I am sure there are a few children in the laughing mix that are not in agreement with the conformity, but they are going along with it to blend in and not become a target themselves.

After a while the neuroplasticity kicks in, along with maybe some brain numbing medication , and it just becomes normal..

The system we live in promotes selfishness. I propose that almost none of us can completely live within the confines of our moral compass in this psychotic system, and propose even further that if you think this way of BE-ing is natural, than you are either deceived, psychopathic, or both.

How can anyone come into a persons home, eat their food, ask them if they can spare a dollar, and then steal the change off the table on the way out? What do you think creates this type of selfish immoral behavior? Competition... That is what, and yes we are a competitive species by nature, but this system promotes scarcity and greed.. That is quite a combination to strip people of morals. Dontcha think?

I recommend checking out @steemmatt's post. It covers some other areas of what I am talking about, like influencers, and the selfish deceptive behavior that comes so naturally through the online "filters" these days.

At the core of it all, we're on this planet for only a short amount of time in an astronomical sense, and if you ask me, our purpose is to help each other and love each other. Really we're more simple than we try to be. Knowledge being power is true in so many ways, but what is the expense of knowledge?

Every time someone steals from me or deceives me in some way, it's painful for me, even if it's a complete stranger, but I will not change who I am because of humanity being in such a state collectively. There are really good people around, and those are the one's I choose to surround myself with.

My purpose on this planet is simple. I want to see a brighter future for humanity, and I will do my best to be a positive impact, even when I'm having my rough moments. I won't let the deceivers and selfish people get me down. If this resonates with you, great. Keep the love alive!


Much love,
@futuremind



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I have helped some that have stolen from me as well. The odd thing is its likely I would have given what was stolen if the person just asked me for it. I don't have much respect for theives and at one point completely despised them.

I have since soften my stance a little as everyone is "hard wired" different and have different life situations they are dealing with. Does this make it ok they steal, HELL NO but there's some circumstances in which I would be a little more forgiven then others. Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting and being more alert when said person is around will always take place if I find out said person is a theif.

The odd thing is its likely I would have given what was stolen if the person just asked me for it.

Exactly! I'm the same way man, it's perplexing to say the least.

I have since soften my stance a little as everyone is "hard wired" different and have different life situations they are dealing with.

I too think like this. At first I was a bit pissed off, but I have to consider so many different variables, and I've learned in life that so many people are just not perceptive to what is right and what is wrong, and human perception is indeed unique for each and every one of us, so who the hell knows what is going through the next persons mind!

After some consideration and thinking, I really kind of feel bad for the guy, as you mention though, forgiving isn't forgetting, and he burned a bridge, now he'll never get anything from me ever again. I would help him in a life threatening emergency if I was present, but that's about it now that he stole and took advantage of my kindness.

Thank you for your thoughts my friend.

I have helped some that have stolen from me as well.

That must be very annoying experience @rentmoney. I wish it wouldn't happen again to any of us.

You heard 'they probably needed it more than I"?

The whole thing (your post and the song I posted)reminds me of one of my favorite movies, which is all about "getting robbed", Guy Ritchie's Revolver. (Bronson is my all time favorite movie).

Revolver is one of favourite movies

I've never seen this movie, but you've sparked my interest indeed. I will check it out.

Thank you for the song, I really enjoyed it.

I wish I could upvote this post at 100% more than once, but I did it once and resteemed it @futuremind.
In nearly all my writings I preach, I scream from the rooftops that we are all brothers, here to help each other make the world a better place.

I too have family members who are thieves and users, as I was while in the depths of my addictions. But I'm in recovery now, skating along a razor edge.

I got some funds when my disability came through and without being asked,
I sent money to three of my older siblings, and they were floored, never having seen it coming. Two of them needed it badly, which I was not aware of.

One of them has a son living nearby, who was also a user and drug addict while I was in that state. He is married now, a very hard worker but he just can't seem to catch a break.
His mother is one I gave the larger sum to, and he and his wife directed me to her house, before we parted, I got he and his wife out of their truck, handed each a $100 bill.
That night, when he made sure I could find the motel, he asked me for a $400 loan, he said "It won't be like it was before, I promise, I SWEAR to you I'll get this $400 back to you" so I gave it to him.
That was last July. He's called once, to say he was sorry for taking so long, but again "It won't be like it used to be" then nothing.

So I feel betrayed, and somewhat foolish, but I went in with my eyes wide open.
I did what I thought was a good deed, and I hope he didn't use it for drugs or whatever.
Even at a loss like this, we must all do everything we can at every turn to make the world better.
Great post Jacob.

Thank you for the kind words and support @jerrytsuseer,
We seem to have very much in common.

I have a younger brother who borrowed 100 dollars from me about 1 year ago, promising to pay it back. He paid half back after I confronted him about it, to this day he still owes 50, and I've not heard a word about it.

It's not even about the money for me. Most of us are struggling, but if a person cannot be good for their word, then I just don't know, it's not something that I understand, and maybe that is what helped me escape addiction, because even during addiction I didn't seem to lose my morals. I made a bunch of mistakes and some relationships were destroyed, but stealing is something I never did, and my word was always good.

Imagine a crack head who doesn't steal and was generous sharing crack with other crackheads, yeah it makes no sense I guess, but I was generous, swimming in a sea of people who simply had no morals left, if they ever had any.. Don't get me wrong, I have so much sympathy for people in addiction, having gone through that hell, but it wasn't the life for me, even if it took me 10 years to get out of. I consider myself very fortunate to have made it out, and it's sad that I feel like I need to be a hermit to stay safe from people lacking morals. I want to be able to trust everyone!

There truly must just be a disconnect from sound morality for many. It really hits home when it's right in your face with family. For sure.

Thank you Jerry, it's great to see you.

From what I read here, you managed to maintain more of a "high road" (no pun intended) through your addictions; I was not so lucky @futuremind.

I was generous to a fault with my clothes and food, even my accomodations when I had all of the above to share, but I prostituted my body for drugs, I panhandled on the streets, I slept under buildings when I could arrange nothing else.
Still I managed to emerge damaged but whole. I am still walking the knife edge, and I suppose I will be the rest of my life.
But no matter what, I will always try to help others, I will be frugal in my use of clean fresh water, I will try to recycle where that is available.
It's great to "see" you as well Jacob my friend.

I don't know how high the road was, sleeping under bridges, and incarceration was the norm for the entire time for me.

You know, I do believe my lowest point was actually my "highest point" in the sense, waking up out of a blackout with a shotgun strewn at my side, a failed suicide attempt, I instantly thought of my children and what succeeding would have meant.. It was my wake up call and gave me the strength to put the shit down once and for all.

But no matter what, I will always try to help others

One of the things that kept influencing me to relapse was the lack of help present for me, the feeling that no one cared.. I always tell people who have reached their "breaking point" with family members in addiction: "Don't give up on your family, because they need you, and they are not in their right state of mind right now, giving up on them is not a good strategy, tough love shows a lack of love to many."

If we didn't make it make it out, we surely wouldn't have met each other Jerry. I'm grateful for you, and grateful you are clean today my friend.

I am grateful for you as well Jacob my friend. People "In the Rooms" (AA) would insist I am still using, because I now have prescriptions for meds, but I take them according to the prescriptions (as far as the pain meds, usually less than prescribed).
I'm off to begin my day or running around in the cold

It's all a matter of perspective. If your life is better, that is what is truly important. Yeah I'm still a drug addict because I use cannabis sometimes to help with anxiety.. 😂
I don't agree with "Once an addict always an addict". people change, and labels mean nothing.

Have a wonderful day Jerry! Stay warm!

huseyin-kaya-1180197-unsplash.jpg

Do we confess things for forgiveness, or do we
Confess things to forget?
It makes us feel so Much better to get things off our chest, so
We chatter on like magpies, to people that really shouldn’t be told these
Things.
(in no way directed towards you my friend)
Or, we spend inordinate Amounts of money to pay folk
To listen to our stories, who May or may not be able to
Bring some order to our Troubled spirits.

There is only one bottom Line here;
the past Is the past,
Accept It and move on.

Happiness is a
Decision we
Make. So
Decide.

“Decide”

by
Jerry E Smith
©1/20/17

I was never a proponent of the "Marijuana is a gateway drug" with one caveat; when I was growing up and getting into the 'scene' if you went to 'the man' to get your pot, chances were VERY likely he had other things and would tempt you.

I use cannabis to help me sleep, it makes for the easiest transition and most pleasant rest.
My issue now is that I've begun dallying with booze again, and when I do, even a couple of drinks, makes it very hard to get going the next morning.
I have very few commitments now that REQUIRE me to get up and go, so why not just stay in my warm covers?
I HAVE called out a few times in the last year for a few Dr appointments because I was hungover, and missed at least two performances.
THAT is the knife edge I am walking. Right now, I have no alcohol in the house, and I don't feel the urge to get any, but it doesn't help that there is a liquor store around the corner; I can hop in my car and be back in 10 min.

I just got back from the Grocery store, staying warm was really not an option, only in a relative sense.
Just as I was coming out to my car, a man coming towards me made a last minute decision (I could see the play in his face)
"say amigo I need some bus fare"
I don't carry cash (and I don't, generally for just this reason)

Alcohol was my gateway to cocaine, and in all respects a much worse problem for me than the cocaine. Alcohol was my "drug of choice."

I know a man who recently passed away from alcoholism. He fought it for years, and it finally took him.

Sure, many cannabis dealers are dealing other things as well, it's hard to find people that only deal with cannabis in many places. That being said, I would still just stick with cannabis if you can resist the urge to drink Jerry. Drinking is dangerous for a man like yourself, even if it wasn't your drug of choice.

If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to do a voice chat with you on discord man. I'm here for you. When it comes to my friends in a moment of crisis, nothing is more urgent. Utilize that crisis line if you cannot find someone to reach out to in a moment of crisis.

Dear @futuremind

As usual - interesting read buddy. I must admit that I found it surprising to read that you called publicly some of your family members to be thiefs. Strong statement. You surely got my attention.

I do believe many people are delusional

I wonder if you ever considered yourself to be delusional? No offence - I'm just curious.
To tell you the truth, this is one hell of a question I like to ask myself from time to time. And I think it's very healthy to sit down and think about it. More often than not - we can discover some unpleasent "truth" about ourselfs.

There isn't many better ways of working on ourselfs, than to simply sit down and question our own behaviors and beliefs.

A system of competition and greed, indoctrination and falsities?

You forgot to mention: system of instant gratification. We like to be 'praised' for our good acts. Especially if we can share all 'good things we do' via our social media. Right?

Well, if you're trying to HELP OTHERS or DO GOOD FOR HUMANITY without hurting or manipulating anyone, then you are AWESOME.

I kind of believe, that most of us are trying to help other people without meaning to hurt or manipulate them - however we do it quite often unintentionally and we may not even be aware of that. Wouldn't you agree?

upvoted already,
Yours, Piotr

Greetings Piotr,

Thank you for the thoughtful comment!

I must admit that I found it surprising to read that you called publicly some of your family members to be thiefs. Strong statement. You surely got my attention.

Indeed it is, and it is a factual statement. There were times their behavior almost caused legal issues for me by simply being with them while they committed crimes, unbeknownst to me at the time. So, I really have no issue with stating it publicly. If they see it, they know I'll say it to their face, and they cannot deny it. So, it is what it is.

I wonder if you ever considered yourself to be delusional? No offence - I'm just curious.

Absolutely, this is a question I not only ask myself, but others too, while deconstructing certain logic. Sometimes, things occur that are so crazy I cannot help to wonder if I am the crazy one, and the ones who tell me otherwise, I wonder if it's appeasement. I sure do wonder my friend, I might be super delusional. Would someone know if they're not?

You forgot to mention: system of instant gratification. We like to be 'praised' for our good acts. Especially if we can share all 'good things we do' via our social media. Right?

Great point! I did forget this one, and it's definitely applicable with this topic. I don't personally see instant gratification as a good thing in many respects.

I kind of believe, that most of us are trying to help other people without meaning to hurt or manipulate them - however we do it quite often unintentionally and we may not even be aware of that. Wouldn't you agree?

Wholeheartedly agree. I've hurt people plenty of times without meaning to in the moment. Sometimes I'm able to see where/how I hurt them, sometimes not. Manipulation is an interesting topic. I am hard pressed to think that humans are not constantly manipulating one another, even on subconscious levels.

Thank you as always for your great comments, you really got me thinking on this one!

Sincerely,
Jake

Hi @futuremind, how are u doing? I also agree with you. I really hate being betrayed by people. Especially someone that we have helped. Already helped even steal. But that is life. I just hope that you are more careful in choosing friends or lovers ..have a nice day, sir.

Hi @elianaelisma,

Everything is a learning experience, and I believe we are given tests in this life. It is what we learn from these tests and how we apply them to personal growth that defines who we are.

My poor luck with friends and lovers just tells me that I need to work on myself and everything will be ok.

Thank you my friend, have a great day.

Great wall of text @tipu curate

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Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 5/10 - need recharge?)

Great wall of text

Lol, thanks 😂

I appreciate the support, thank you for the tipu @davidke20 🙂

Go play scissors rock and paper !shop

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Hi~ futuremind!
@davidke20 has gifted you 1 SHOP!

Currently you have: 1 SHOP

View or Exchange SHOP Please go to steem-engine.com.

Are you bored? Play Rock,Paper,Scissors game with me!

rock!


You lose! 你输了!愿赌服输,请给我点赞~

I know your tricks, rock again!


It’s a tie! 平局!再来!下回我再出拳头!

3rd time is a charm, you rock my world

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Temptation man, temptation. For some it is overpowering. For some the sense of unfairness and a chance to even things out, however wrong headed, empowers the lower impulses.
I see this in so many people, and sometimes even in myself. Self-reflection, which many people seem unable to do, helps me to stop. For instance, I used to wait for a person I owe money to to ask me for it before I re-pay them. That's been one of my struggles, even when the money involved is very small - so silly!. Funny thing is, I find that many people do the very same to me, and I do not ask for the money back either! Last night I described that trait of mine as an attempt to feel superior to the person who owes me money. Also silly!
Keep being the generous person you are. Ultimately, that is what matters. As you say we are here to help each other. Helping this particular person would also include letting him (him?) know that you know I should think. He needs to step up his game.

Hey, sorry for the late response here. Been really busy with some things.

I was just talking with someone earlier today about the generosity topic, and how I sometimes struggle with the negative forces. When someone wrongs me, I'm prone to psychotic thoughts, and really just want to say screw everyone else.. But it's generally just temporary and coming from a place of hurt/violation.

I won't change who I am just because there are so many shitty people in the world. I don't even think I could change myself in that aspect if I wanted to, but it is tough to deal with in the moment.

I've known many people who won't pay people back unless pressure is put on them, It's not really something I understand, and I'm sure there are some interesting psychological components to it. I know I don't like it if a person doesn't pay me back when they say they will, and I really don't like to lend because of that component. I've heard some say they like having people in their debt, to me it causes added stress. I don't deal with conflict well. It's probably why I'm pretty hermit.

The guy asked for a dollar for the bus, and I just gave it to him, didn't ask to be paid back, and he didn't offer.. Another conundrum to me, as I could never ask someone for money without offering to pay it back, no way.. just not me.. but I really don't ask anyone for anything anyway. So, small money, even if someone does offer to pay it back, I'll often times just say "don't worry about it", because then I will feel psychotic over a dollar they promised to pay back if they don't pay it back.. Why bother..

Thank you for your thoughts, always appreciated my friend.

You are way nicer than me. I don’t have the stomach to hear excuses and stories from people but some are stuck in their ways. I feel like they are chemically addicted to drama.

I had a piano student that always started her lesson with excuses as to why she will not sound good before she even played. Her self-defeated prologue set a tone that was not beneficial for her. It took time but I found a peaceful way to bulldoze over that habit. I don’t get into her story. She’s curbed her “fix” to a couple of seconds, if that. She gets into her lesson sooner and is engaged in the moment.

Bad things happen. Some people get in the habit of making it their identity. Sad to put creative energy toward that end.

J

You are way nicer than me. I don’t have the stomach to hear excuses and stories from people but some are stuck in their ways. I feel like they are chemically addicted to drama.

Chemically addicted to drama, lol I like that. haha

Maybe I put up with too much. Sometimes it's just easier to say yes to people, and I do have compassion for those in need, being someone who was homeless for the better part of ten years and no one really helped me get out of it or seemed to care..

That being said, I had to stop feeling like a victim and just do what I had to do. You're absolutely right, self defeating attitude will keep people perpetually stuck in a rut.

I'm a stubborn bullheaded Taurus, it took me a long time to finally realize that.

Thank you for your thoughts, I think you're a super nice person :)

I’m your Taurus sister but stubborn from the other direction. For me, I tell people that I will say NO 99% of the time. It takes a bit of spending time in jnetsworld to win my YES. It’s the way people know they’ve leveled up.

I’ve not been homeless but know what lean times feel. I’ve been taken advantage of in the past that others would find it justifiable that I wear the badge of victim but that is repugnant to me. I stubbornly don’t like defeat but will take time to rebuild myself and “fight again” for myself. People close to me will notice that I go on radio silence when I’m struggling. Otherwise, I prefer to live with bounce in my soul.

Life is hard but knowing how I fight whatever dark powers that may be, I’ve found that I am not equipped to take on other people’s demons.

Thank you for saying you think I’m nice. From a person that habitually says NO to people, I think you will find that people will honor and respect that....at least the ones that truly care about you.

Saying NO to others is a way to love yourself.

J

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Well you did say yes to taking futuremind out of your virtual cemetery ;)

People close to me will notice that I go on radio silence when I’m struggling. Otherwise, I prefer to live with bounce in my soul.

I can definitely relate to this!

Thank you for taking the time to share your insights, I appreciate you @jnetsworld!