How to communicate parents and children to really understand each other.

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Often, poor communication is one of the biggest problems parents face every day: if we cannot communicate in the best way, we could transform a council into an imposition, lose the confidence of the children, find ourselves in the condition of Even knowing what they think and what they do.

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The prerequisite for communicating with children in the best way is love.

I do not want to say that parents do not love their children, but that we often take this feeling for granted and forget to actively love, which leads to all the problems and confrontations between parents and children.

Therefore, we must understand what it means to love and realize that we can educate our children only if we learn to love concretely, actively, every day.

How to create a positive dialogue

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To communicate with children it is important to be honest: many parents may think that there are situations in which it is better to hide uncomfortable, painful and ambiguous aspects, but the cases in which this is necessary are really rare.

You should not hide the difficulties, uncertainties, fears or disappointments of your children. Instead, you must support them to face them, understand them and overcome them.

Don't lie to him about what you do about why you ask them for certain behaviors.

The more you are able to be honest with them, the more you will gain trust, respect.

It is with the example or the way they act, rather than preach, that influences them.

It is unfair to say offensive words when children fail at something or encounter difficulties.

They always deserve respect and trust, especially from their parents, and it is also harmful: it will undermine their security and self-confidence.

Their dignity is hurt every time we rate them, even if it seems like a joke.

The secret is to eliminate all the words that could diminish them.

In addition, it is essential to communicate with your children only when you have enough calm and serenity. It is not necessary to take away parts of their time, but always to give them quality.

If you are losing patience or in a hurry, avoid encountering discussions in which you are interested in closing the speech quickly, thus discharging your frustration.

It also avoids any guilt towards them for manipulating them, making them feel indebted for what you do for them or for their ungrateful way of behaving.

In addition, each parent must accept, especially that at a certain age, there is a conflict of opinion and that children demand their independence: for this reason, it is important to respect the decisions of their children.

Unless you want to imprison them in the room or keep them away from the rest of the world until they give up (and never will do so completely), this is exactly what should be done: accept and respect your children's choices as you would with those of a friend or sister

I am not prompting to make decisions with children and young people who do not yet know how to take responsibility, but to help them do it: as long as their opinion is not respected, it will always keep them immature and irresponsible.

To help your children grow, you should give importance to your ideas, respect them even if you don't share them and give advice.

The usual problem How to give advice that is heard?

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You may have noticed that they often do not listen to you, but if a friend or an adult suggests the same, they do.

Have you ever wondered, why?

It is about credibility.

Credibility is basic in human relationships and especially in the relationship of parents and children. It is the result of honesty, congruence and righteousness, virtues that we all want to see in ourselves and those around us.

Source for information:

https://wol.jw.org/el/wol/d/r4/lp-s/402013365
https://www.educacioninicial.com/c/001/328-como-escuchar-hablar-nino/
https://centropsicologiainfantil.es/index.php/2017/07/18/comunicacion-padres-e-hijos/