The Lie

in dsound •  9 months ago 

Greetings Dsound!

It has been many months of writer's block preventing me from writing lyrics, hence the over abundance of instrumentals on my part. This is song is very personal and recounts the feelings I've had of recent over my battle to get my now 15 year old son mental help, which has done nothing but backfire on me and has ruined our relationship for the foreseeable future. I I've ever prided myself in anything it was how good of a father I was.


That 12 gauge never looked so inviting
Hate to admit I can't stop thinking
Of tasting my final cry
I've managed to lose every single part of me
My only son does not have respect for me
Can I pray to God to get my reason
Feel powerless against this absolute failure
My whole life's been a lie

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Hi lk666,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

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Al ganar la semana #5 del Sonic Groove Live, obtengo una delegación de 5000 Sonic la cual estaré utilizando para curar y seguir apoyando el trabajo de muchos artistas dentro de la blockchain. Usted ha sido uno de los beneficiados por dicha delegación y será mencionado en mi Top 5.
By winning week #5 of Sonic Groove Live, I get a delegation of 5000 Sonic which I will be using to heal and continue to support the work of many artists within the blockchain. You have been one of the beneficiaries of this delegation and will be mentioned in my Top 5.

I am very honored and that is very kind. Thank you very much <3

Wow the lyrics are very painful. Sometimes you have to wait for the pain to pass, for the anger to pass and for the time to put things in their place. Rest well. Do some meditation. Go out to nature and fill yourself with love for the air, for the colors and for the textures. Receive from me a lot of strength and love. Kind regards @lk666

Thank you very much for your kind words of encouragement. Thankfully, the weed is ever present <3

dear @lk666, what beautiful music! and what poignant words for a father! if I can, I would like to reassure you a little: the boys of that age are looking for themselves, they find themselves living in the midst of the storm of growth and do not know where to hold onto, because they are no longer small children who seek their parents and at the same time do not they still have the tools to deal with everything. parents should try to give directions, without suffocating them and making them understand that you will always be on their side, ready to help them if needed. in this age they go against everything and every person, only they seek the company of their peer friends to be able to share the new emotions that bloom inside. so you will see that with time everything will work out :-)) all the best for you and your son
keep on with your music and congratulations on the curie vote

Thank you very much for the encouragement. I never had the issues he is having with paranoia, schizofrenia, hallucinations, hearing voices etc. and in my state NM, at 14 he can refuse medication, counseling, or any other type of medical help. On top of all that he has epilepsy. So now, unprovoked, he has run away for the umpteenth time and the state comes in after he refuses to come home and instead of trying to get him to comply, they investigate me for child abuse. This is what has me so out of sorts. I wish it were as simple as him just being rebellious like I was at that age. The bad part of it is, he isn't even accusing me of abuse. That's just their policy...

Anyway, again, thank you <3

oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know the situation was so complex, otherwise I would never have allowed myself to make that ordinary comment on teenage escapes. his situation is very delicate and perhaps dangerous, and I think that 14 years are really too few to decide on the possibility of being helped with a medical intervention. I hope that everything can be solved and that you can find some serenity

Don't sweat it, I would never imagine anyone having to go through this but with laws in certain parts of the USA then it's just a risk of having children I suppose.

Hello Hello!

I fully admit your talent to play the guitar and be able to sing a song that describes situations in the common life of a human, a beautiful talent, greetings friend!

Greetings and thank you for your kind words <3

I'm hearing this song maybe the tenth time. The most touchy is "My only son does not have respect for me...''. I have the oposite feeling and I really missed a father. I'm saying this, because I didn't see my father for 10 years. I don't think I'm gonna meet him as well, but I would like. You may think he's not alive, but he is. The problem that I'm half Russian and half Algerian. So, I lived in Algeria dreaming to comeback to Russia, because I didn't like traditions there and my strict father. I also grew in Russia and in my 13 years old, my father took me to Algeria promising me heaven there, but it was hell. Maybe I blame him for everything and don't like all what he did, but I just wish him all the best. Thanks a lot for this song and inspiration. I feel him, but can't do anything now. We are not even talking.

Thank you and you're very welcome.
Believe me, that was the hardest line to write for me. I actually cringe when I hear or think about it. It is a very embarrassing thing for me to know even in the face of his own former therapist telling me that my son hates me and it's not my fault that he doesn't possess an ounce of empathy. My son is no longer speaking to me just over a week now over absolutely nothing I'm aware of.

I'm glad that my new song could help you in coping with even an ounce of the sadness I know you must feel <3

I understand you. I also have a little 2 years old son and I hope in the future we will be friends. It's hard when your own son don't talk to you. Life is hard and we just have to deal with it. Music and singing can help. I sing sometimes karaoke and that help me to feel better. I also sang recently a sad song, but it has deap meaning. You can listen to that here : Carl Espen - Silent Storm

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