I don't live here anymore! Drifting 1/#
This place is not my home, it's too small for me and I don't belong here!
2 mins walk from my place
I think I knew this before my recent trip to Thailand, but now I KNOW it.
After all of my thoughts while in Thailand about feeling so 'British' now that I'm back I realise I'm not that connected after all. At least not to Hereford.
Maybe that's what all the shitty luck was about during the (somewhat) disastrous last three weeks - forced into coming back early and then faced with the realisation that this isn't home.
One has to realise and KNOW to be able to move forwards after all. Intellectualising these things is not enough, useful after you KNOW, but not really that useful in the abstract.
Thankfully I anticipated that this might be the case 18 months ago when I moved here and so I bought a very rentable house - so now that is what I must do... sell everything, rent this place out and then just go drift.
Actually that's at least partially bullshit - I bought this place because I liked the feel of it, the fact that it's very rentable too is just a bonus.
To where I move don't know, ATM I don't really care, but that's just the 4 beers I've just had kicking in.
To drift feels right now, it just didn't a month ago. I had this feeling this might be the right move, but it's taken a trip away for it to bed-in.
It's also honest. Whatever that means, I'm not actually sure, it just came out!
Certainty at last, about the fact that I have no option other than to drift into uncertainty.
But that's right too... at 46 years of age, what better situation to be in..? At this age most men are drifting, so I may as well do it properly.
Hopefully this isn't just a result of listening to too much early Hawkwind recently.
I don't think so, because I know that wherever you go, there you are!
Just not being here is the next step...
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So where is home? We were watching a programme last night about a guy who lives on a canal boat. Some friends will be doing that soon. I can see some appeal, but it involves compromises. Would really have to cut down on what stuff I own.
I've always fancied living on a canal boat, despite that and the fact that it's grim in winter.
However, once you factor in canal licence, mooring and the maintenance fees it all ends up being quite expensive.
I've got my eye on the steem eco-village project in Portugal. That's right up my street!
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