365 Kitano-less Days

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It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since I lost my sweet boy Kitano. 365 days ago, I made the toughest decision of my life for the second time...and for the second time I said goodbye to one of my boys forever. Technically the time was 8 pm so I’m still about 10 hours early. Yeah, I remember every detail. How could I not?!

Kitano or Tano as we called him most often, was my 3rd pup in my pack after Bandit and Bindi. Maya followed Tano a couple of years later. My girls are still by my side thankfully but both of my boys have since left this world.

He was Malamute with a dash of Timberwolf and he was by far the sweetest pup of the pack. He was my little heart and after Bandit passed, he really stepped up to help fill that big void that was left.

When we got him in 2005, he was very ill and we honestly thought we were just providing a quality life for this angel for a short time. Well he overcame what was a sure to be death sentence if we didn’t snatch him up...then overcame a stroke at 5 years old that should have had him immobilized for the rest of his life. It didn’t. He triumphed and was an inspiration. You’d never know he suffered these multiple life impediments.

Then came the big C. That dreaded word that nobody ever wants to hear. From when he was diagnosed to the time he took his last breath, it was about a year. God...I would give anything to have any other day with this guy.

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He was the most playful pup. Always making us laugh. I would come into the house some days and he would be the first pup to greet me. So happy was his perfect face. I would get down and the ground and he would cover my entire head in kisses with his big dopey tongue as the others just crowded around and tried to sneak a kiss in. Literally...my eyes, cheeks, hair, ears...I’d be laughing and he would just go faster and get more excited. Once in a while as I was laughing he’d slip it in my mouth which was disgusting and hilarious. It’s like he tried to do that the little fucker. My wife thought I was gross and crazy but I cherished every second of these moments.

Funny thing is...you don’t know the last time those moments are going to happen. That’s the strange part about life. One minute you are happy with your pack fully intact.

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The next...you are down 2 in the party, and you just stand out here helplessly watching the others get older. Hell, Bindi at almost 16 is defying odds daily and while she’s doing amazing, I’m under no illusions that this will last forever. It kills me to know that I’ll have to relive, replay, re-feel the worst moment of my life 2 more times. That’s fucking brutal to comprehend and I sometimes can’t escape that morbid thought. Even when things are good.

There I go again. In my own head. The one prison I can never escape is me.

Anyway, back to Tano. I don’t want to get too down right now. I had to step away for a few because I broke down in hysterics. It’s been a while since I had sad snot bubbles poppin but I think I needed it weirdly. Sometimes lately I feel like I’ve blocked a part of them out as to not let their absence consume me. I’m sure this day will be an up and down roller coaster, but I’m going to try to honor him by thinking fondly of our time together. I’ll take the girls to the park in a bit and imagine he and his brother are with us. They helped shape me into who I am today so I guess they are and always will he with me. I’ll try and take some comfort in that today.

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So please, I ask you to raise your glass at some point in time today to Tano. I want him to feel such an unbelievable amount of love today from around the globe. This world has gone 365 days without him and that...is just too big a price to pay. This world needed a Tano. The amount of pure love that was contained inside this perfect boy is a tremendous loss. We need more Tano’s. Go and find your Tano if you have not already and if you do have one...cherish it with every ounce of your being.

Love you always boy. Thank you for every second of pure perfection that you shared with me.

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Funny thing is...you don’t know the last time those moments are going to happen. That’s the strange part about life.

Feeling this right now... Been mourning the loss of a close friend. Not one who sneaks kisses like your Tano, but one who meant a lot to me. Life is short and so precious.

Big hug brother...

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I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your lost bud. It’s just depressing how sudden and final it all is.

Much love to you my dear. ❤️

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Ever since I was a little boy I always wanted to have a dog, my wish finally materialized when I was 12 after nagging my parents enough... Got a Basset Hound since my mother liked them so much, his name was Fred like the French Basset Hound Cartoon, only had that dog for 9 months before he died, we still don't know what he had... we decided that we couldn't leave things like that, so we got a brown Boxer called Ringo, only had that dog for 4 months, he had a huge spinal infection, so we had to put him down... by this time I didn't want any other dog, it was just too much pain to deal with, my father was the one that said we couldn't leave things like this, so we got another dog, a boxer from the same pack as the first one, but since there were only two left my father couldn't separate them, so we got both of them, Rambo and Rommel... after 5 months Rommel had severe hip displasia and we had to put him down. The only one that survived was Rambo, he lived with us until he was 9 years old, he got Brain cancer, we had to put him down. The years I spent with him were some of the best years in my life, that dog helped me through so much, he was always there for me... I miss him quite a lot.

There is one thing that I learned with all of this: NEVER EVER get a pedigree dog from a specific breed, they are full of diseases and are more prone to have cancer,etc... always get no breed dog, those little guys resist almost everything! My cousins got one, they never had a problem with him and they probably won't ever have a problem with him, those little no breed little guys are able to resist everything! And the smaller they are the longer their life-span is.

Sorry for your loss :(

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Wow. That is one heartbreaking story after another. I’m so sorry for not only you for having to relive all that but the beautiful pups who got a raw deal.

It’s too painful. I really feel that way. I always thought I’d always have dogs in my life. After all the heartbreaking losses...I don’t know if I can do it anymore after my other girls are gone. I’m not saying never again, but right now I just have so much rage in me without them.

Luckily I guess out of my pups they have had average lifespans for their breeds. My boys lived to 11 1/2 & 12 1/2 each. My girls are currently 10 and the other will be 16 in November!

Our family pup which we just lost on Wednesday was only 9. She was an American Eskimo. My heart breaks as it was so sudden. So not fair. Such is life...

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(Edited)

puppers are our joy, and after they leave, the hole that ifs left seems to suck in the sky and all the air around it. Its been 12 years since I lost my girl, and I still feel it acutely.

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It’s crazy. Sometimes it seems like eons have past since I last saw my angels who have gone on without me. Yet other days it seems like it was just yesterday that we were romping around. Time is a strange phenomenon. Hugs for your girl and you my friend.

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Awww man.... Sad story. I only have one doge friend but it kinda hurts my heart to hear this story. However, I think you know already that you brought so much more to Kitano's life than he would have had without you. Check out this 9gag meme for a bit of a tear jerk experience.

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Beautiful.

They aren’t here with us long enough. It’s one of the most unfair aspects of life.

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Malamutes can be such sweet dogs. I bet you’re missing him a lot today.

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Yeah. I am all about the snow dogs. Malamutes a d huskies are my heart. I miss him more than these words can reveal.

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@blewitt, this is so heartbreaking. Having lost several myself, I can identify with
your pain but certainly can't know the depth of your grief. Our beloved dogs leave holes in our hearts that nothing can ever truly fill. Time is no cure. My heart is with you.

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It’s the worst but I know I’m not unique to this shitshow. I’m not the first person to lose a pup they loved. As awful as it sounds...that kinda helps me through it. Misery loves company I guess.

Thanks so much for reaching out.

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I know what you mean I dread this "I’ll have to relive, replay, re-feel the worst moment of my life 2 more times." it's the inevitable and we don't want to get there.

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It’s miserable and I don’t wish the pain on anyone. Ok...maybe a few people.

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You got a 8.49% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @blewitt!

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