"'Purple Girl' (And Personal Talk)" by Richard F. Yates

[Digital drawing made on my phone. 2020.]

Hey folks... Life sometimes kicks our asses. Let's discuss...

Anxiety, depression, health, decades old habits that had to change... I've had some challenges lately, and I've had (for the first time in decades) some issues with motivation. Since I was a little kid---before grade school, even---I've been a creator. Drawing, writing, storytelling...these aren't just things I do, they are who I AM.

But these new circumstances I've found myself in lately---new medications, new dietary restrictions, new energy levels---have taken their toll, psychologically and physically.

I have no intension of letting this stuff strip away my identity as a creative person, though. The drawing up above, "Purple Girl," (my wife named her) is a new work, and I'm happy with the finished image. Seeing those colors and contrasts, that simple but strange expression on her face, these make me smile.

One of my worries, especially now that I'm on two different anti-anxiety meds, is that my creativity is going to be dulled or destroyed... I haven't tried much complex writing yet, either, no poetry, no fiction. I need to.

(Fear is the mind killer...)

Maybe I'll start simply again---do a flash fiction piece or two this week (maybe with an abstract bit of art with each one) to ease myself back into creative writing...

But for now, I'm pleased with "Purple Girl." She's shown me that I can still make an interesting image, despite my new physical and mental health. More importantly, I've decided NOT to give up. I'm always banging on about how I think EVERYONE should be creative and make stuff, whatever their level of skill and/or talent, so it would be hypocritical for me to give up now, just because I've hit a few stumbling blocks.

I need to put MORE EFFORT into getting off the couch. I need to work harder now, (getting old is tough), but I believe that it's worth the effort to be creative and to still be able to consider myself an artist and a poet!

---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

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