STARTING ANEW: A PRAYER

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Me head's bowed, lord.
Me knees on this here earth.
I have come again, my tongue
Filled with morphemes to tell you
How I have been.
How have I been?
Well I still inhale and exhale.
I still fornicate with my thoughts,
I still watch the clouds and butterflies.

I still listen to sad songs,
And yes, sometimes, in the deepest of nights,
I still weep my silent tears.
In a few, I will rumple bed sheets, stare at the clock and sigh.
In a few, I will wander my mind, lost
Soul seeking for peace, love and happiness.
In a few, I will mutter me prayers
And turn away from the wall one more time.

In a few I will smile,
Open my door and welcome the dawn.
But you know all of these things.
You have heard my whispered pleas
And waited while I dried my eyes.
You have held me hands when
All of me hurt too much to breathe.
You have sheltered me time and time again
When I wandered to you, bereft.

Me father see me bones splayed before thee.
I have been tossed like cowries
Between the limbs of a seer,
I have been smeared of dust and ash,
Ripped off rest and peace
But I still struggle up with the sun
And sometimes remain up even as the sky turns velvet with night.
Me father, I still strive here

Between the silence and the throb of my barely beating heart.
You have saved me from me
And for that I am forever thankful.
Tomorrow, in a few, I will falter,
I will fall and fail; I will say words
And mean them, I will fall in love,
Get high on liquor and low on memories,
I will tumble between sheets with my stories

But I will not forget that you have held
Me hands while I gently go insane.
I will not forget that you have led me down
Paths despite my blurred vision and my broken spirit.
It is you who has kept me, fed me and
Dared me again to leave the darkness
And drink the sunlight one more time.

What tomorrow holds I know not.
I still dream though, so that counts for something.
My dreams may come true or not
But it does not matter really.
I have loved and lived, heard beautiful songs
And known beautiful souls finding themselves
Like chicks falling from the nest.
My thanks are unending for all that you are.

I am throwing verbs and nouns
Like nairas and kobos
On a wedding floor as a bride dabs and groom dances his zanku
But these are gifts that I gift myself
As I take another step on this shore.
Me father another year begins here.
You have given me another day
To breathe, to love, to give, to begin anew.

IMG_20190820_005237_649.jpg

First wrote this on my whatsapp status then I thought what the hell, take it to the blockchain. Thanks @mosunomotunde for being the first. It means a lot.

©warpedpoetic, 2019.

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