How to Make Your Mother In Law Disappear

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I love my mother in law. She's kind and sweet, and courageous and strong - and hasn't always had an easy life. I have a lot of respect for her, and admire the relationship my man has with her. He has her intelligence, curiousity and interest in all things - it is clear he is his mother's son.

But when anyone stays with you for a few weeks, you need to make them disappear. It's hard to be available all the time, especially when, as much as she likes me, she doesn't visit to visit me - she is here for her son. I'm okay with that, really. I'm old enough and wise enough not to be jealous that I take second place - it's not even really about that, it's that she lives ten thousand miles away and every second counts. Sometimes it's far more adult of me to disappear into the background. Perhaps making myself disappear, rather than making her disappear, would be a more apt title.

And so, when she visited in 2016, I spent two very hot days with the air conditioning on, I picked up my pens and drew. Let me get one thing straight - I don't draw. For me, this is a big deal. I'm not even sure if it's a drawing, more of a doodle - but it was a pleasurable escape for me. There's something very meditative about putting ink on the page - I feel the same way when I write.

I disappear. The world disappears.


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On the wings of the dragonfly are two worlds - on the left, is Glastonbury Tor and the moon, and memories of living in England. It's about inner worlds - mythology, spirituality, the stars, the night. On the right hand side is the beach I surf at in summer in Australia - the sun is hot and bright, and the waves roll in. It's about activity and movement, action in the world. Underneath are lotuses, labrinths, spirals, the sun and the moon, sunshine and rain - the natural world and symbols of journeys - we walk to the center of the labrinth to know ourselves, and the lotus too is about suffering - no mud, no lotus, as someone said once. Or maybe they didn't. It's just stuff we know.

'There's your labyrinth of suffering. We are all going. Find your own way out of that maze' - John Green

So the dragonfly was going to be a paste up. I was going to photocopy it and paste it under the railway bridge in town, over the 'C*NT' that was sprayed there in fluoro pink (nice). But I'm impatient, you see. So I made the glue from flour and water and pasted it onto the bus, totally oblivious in the hot sunshine that the rain would come, eventually, and wash the ink away.

Sometimes art is just a lesson in impermanence.


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21 comments
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Art is just a lesson in impermanence. I love that. I think for any artistic endeavor, the world disappears for the artist, or perhaps that is when the "best" art is made, when the artist leaves the now and goes into the eternal. That doesn't sound very mindful of me, but it's what I sometimes feel when I am singing or dancing, talk about lessons in impermanence. There ain't nothing left to show for that kind of art, not even a scrap of paper.
Your drawing is wonderful, you can stop saying you don't draw.

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(Edited)

Hello
My son, he is three years old, asks for the same bus as you.
He is very cool. How old is he..

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(Edited)

Aw, thats sooo cute!!! Its 1965 I think....

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I bet my wife would love to make my mother disappear lol but the difference is I’m not that important to my mom so it’s a win for both of us lol.

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Oh, that made me sad!!! Sorry to hear that. My mum is awesome, her and my man chat away like anything and she always has his back, even when I dont, so he is lucky as far as mum in laws go!

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No worries, we tried for 5 years and said screw it back in May. Can’t keep trying when the other side doesn’t bother. Glad your family gets along!

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In the end you have to look after your own heart. At least you can say that you gave it your best shot xx my dad lost sleep over his brother for many years before he let it go. Funny that he had to literally be on his deathbed last year for my uncle to come over as if nothing had ever happened. My dad nearly had a nervous breakdown because of it full stop but the way he thinks of it now is that it is all in the past and there is no point holding onto it. So it is nice to see them talking again. Dad says it will never be what it was but he is ok with that and just is happy that he can have a coffee with his brother and for things to be ok.

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How so very kind of you to give your husband that time alone with his mother, or rather his mother alone time with him. It's not easy being me in law but I can understand her wanting to come all that way and spending time with him. I love when you say you can't draw. Have you looked at that dragonfly? Suffice to say that you draw. At least you have something concrete hold in your hands oh, I don't own a skill that I am able to hold in my hand. LOL have a great day and what a great post!

!tip

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what cool artwork. I wouldnt call those just "doodles*. you could have a second calling if you needed one. im so glad not to have relatives nearby. i have no patience for people in my space. might not be very adult, but having my personal space keeps me sane.

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I totally hear that. I love my personal space. Unless it's my mum and dad and I could seriously just hang around with them all day just talking the shit. Anyone good because they are such nice and calm people. Thanks for the compliment, if I was able to a make a living from doodling dragonflies I would haha

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Beautiful!!This style of drawing reminds me of the storytelling /style of Inuit art. When there isn't a written language or the right words, art like this can tell a story just the same.

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Yes!!! Art can tell a story!! I have been thinking about what creativity is.. and isnt.. all week. Needless to say, its many things.

PS Just had cheese on toast and thought of you.

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I love that drawing!
Also the details on the wings, and the meaning that each thing has.
I have also enjoyed reading ...
It was a hot day!
Greetings @riverflows

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Tell me about it, the mother in law relationship!!!

I'm awful at attention to details so I'm glad you described the dragonfly otherwise I would have totally missed the two worlds. That's a lovely way to epxress your feelings for your two home

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Thankyou!

Don't you get along with your mother in law? Isn't it wierd - they raise the men we love, but then they drive us nuts, haha!! I shouldn't say that, she's lovely really xx

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Mine is very controlling and dominating, treats everyone as if they're still a teenager. There's a difference between a loving mother and a controlling mother and unfortunately she doesn't know the difference. Distance definitely helps ^_^

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Oh, I love it. How native! I know the dragonfly has a lot of symbolism, but I forget what it is. Did you pick it for that reason, or just because that's what the drawing turned into? I know sometimes a drawing draws itself using the artists hands, in kind of a trance state. Been there for sure ;)

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Hello @riverflows, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

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Very wise of you to make space for your mother-in-law and her son and what a lovely way to disappear!
That is a beautiful piece of art for someone who says they don't draw!
Aren't photos wonderful to make some of those impermanent things last just a little bit longer!

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