GOING OLD SCHOOL DURING THE TOILET PAPER CRISIS.

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During these trying times I thought a little comic relief may be just what is needed, as humanity deals with the cards dealt to us. In no way am I making light of this very serious situation, but the toilet paper crisis is laughable, and I'm happy to see that others here on Steemit also think so, check out this video by @broncnutz
https://steemit.com/appics/@broncnutz/appics-v1-appics-im-112608

We understand the magnitude of what is crippling every aspect of normality.
We have both a son and a daughter who work in a hospital. No, not tucked away in some corner, but on the front line.
Being that @farm-mom also worked in a hospital for over 40 years, we totally get the fact that health care workers don't have the luxury of taking off from work.

Thank God for all of these fearless individuals who put our health before their own.

Now back to the toilet paper issue. First of all, it's only an issue because some people decided that they needed to have 200 rolls squirreled away.

Being that #farm-mom and I are both of that ancient generation, referred to as the BABY BOOMERS, we remember a time long ago, when cloth diapers was they way people rolled.
Yes, we do remember observing our moms' never ending battle to literally stay one step in front of the shit.

When I look back now, the aroma of bleach was like an air freshener, ever apparent.

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Now, with most of us being out of diapers, let's just take the diaper approach and apply it to toilet paper. In times like this, one must think out of the box. If you are one of those people who are lying awake at night wondering what you will wipe your Gluteus Maximus with, after depleting your hoard of TP, we've got the answer.

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T shirts, preferably white, will get the job done. Since I can be found wearing one 90% of the time, I have a remarkable collection, 29 in all.

If your collection of white T shirts is not as impressive as mine, you can always mix in some colored ones.
Colored ones do have their downfall though, it may be hard to determine if that last wipe should really be the last wipe.
Why the hell do you think they make TP white, for the contrast silly.

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Well, here is how we would ROLL if we couldn't get TP.
If you follow these precise instructions, you will end up with a shit load of reusable TP.

After carefully calculating the square inches in one of my T shirts, we decided the best size would be 6 in. x 11 in.
That's a whopping 66 sq. in. per sheet, no not per shit!

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There are a few tools that will be needed to make exact measurements, a 12 in. ruler and a right angle template will help to ensure that each sheet is exactly the same.

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As you can see from this detailed diagram we will be getting 20 sheets of reusable TP from everyone of my T shirts.
Another thing to keep in mind is the fact that I wear an extra large T shirt, so you need to adjust your sheets per shirt per shit per day.

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After all of your lines are drawn on the T shirt, just get busy cutting.

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Now that is the way we would handle the TP crisis.

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If anyone out there has any other brilliant ideas, please don't hesitate to share with your fellow Steemians.
Happy TP hunting.

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All joking aside, our parents washed dippers by the dozens and this is how they would do it.

  • Rinse out the dirty TP in the toilet, and then flush.

*Add an ounce of bleach to the toilet water, and rinse again.

  • Store them in a plastic container until several dozen have been used, this usually happen within a 24 hour period.
    Storage of this receptacle is of extreme importance.

  • Wash by hand in a separate tub. Use one ounce of bleach/gallon of hot water.

  • Rinse thoroughly in fresh hot water.

  • Hang on a cloths line to dry. For those who may be asking, what the heck is a cloths line, it's a piece of rope placed
    between two trees which then can be used to hang the wet laundry over, while being dried by the sun.
    Maybe that is also a practice we should all get back to doing, think of all the benefits of hanging your laundry.

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One of these is highly recommended if you decide to use this method for personal hygiene during the TOILET PAPER shortage.

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#farm-mom and I wish you the best during this health crisis.
Stay safe and be community minded by doing what is being asked of you.
Check in on your elders, that's why we are all here!



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10 comments
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He said, 'Stop doing wrong things and turn back to God! The kingdom of heaven is almost here.'(Matthew 3:2)

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(Edited)

Where I come from, newspaper is old-school 😖 we'd end up using that long before we start washing cloths although I remember that charming smelling nappy-bucket routine from my childhood too

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😂😂😂 Solid solution! Thanks for the mention of my video.

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DAHAHAHA NICE!! I am working on a “Redneck Bidet” Just haven’t figured out how to install a remote start on the pressure washer....

Posted using Partiko iOS

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Very inventive, let's hope it doesn't get to that. hehe

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This will be my solution if I run out of toilet paper...just saying...

corn cobs.JPG

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WONDERFUL post!! Shared to the @c-squared curation community for more support!

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