"Holiday Advice from Spider" by Richard F. Yates

in #comics10 months ago

[Digital drawing. 2019.]

Hey folks! It's that time of year again, or still, in which everything is too loud and money sucks more than usual and we all have headaches. That's right, it's HEATER season!

We have baseboard heaters in this house, and they're really expensive to run; they make that weird popping, mini-clank as they warm up; and the air in the house is so dry that we all have a sinus-burn headache from now until April---am I right??? (Or am I the only one?)

And it's also HOLIDAY time, which some people find difficult. I get stressed a bit, too, but luckily my good friend, Spider, is a licensed therapist, and she gave me some solid seasonal advice...

"Just remember to breathe..."

Spiders... They're just smart, right!? (Especially the ones that went to night school!) The season is about whatever you want it to be about, presents or family or religion or hating people---whatever turns you on. But you just have to remember, in the rush and hustle and blah blah blah, that you need to stop and chill every once in a while. Just sit down with a glass of booze, put on some chill tunes (holiday music perhaps---or not---whatever you enjoy), and gaze at the hypnotic lights until you drift into a state of calm, brainwashed bliss... Lovely...


Today, the wife and I went with the grand-baby (and her mom and dad) to see Santa for her first time. She was indifferent---as was the Santa. (We never really told our kids that Santa was "real," but this isn't our baby to indoctrinate. It's up to her parents to fill her head with whatever stories they want her to hear.) (Not counting all the books and stories we'll be reading while I'm babysitting her...)

Meanwhile, Frankie and Alec also got a tree while we were at the Santa rendezvous spot. Mariah and I acquired ours yesterday, and Mariah FINISHED decorating it today, and we got the lights put up on our house yesterday, too, AND on Elise (the younger daughter's) house, as well.

Work, work, work...but it helps TRANSFORM THE ENVIRONMENT, which breaks up the year and gives us a vacation from the standard, 9 to 5, work-a-day existence. Unlike most people, I live in a fantasy world most of the year, anyway, but the holidays that involve lights and decorations help make the fantasy more exciting! (I love lights.)

Last, we had a pizza dinner / gift exchange with Grandpa Terry and Grandma Deb. (That would be the new kid's GREAT-grandma and grandpa!) Fun stuff! (And Grandma Deb got Mariah a "Slicer!" And I thought, at first, that it was some kind of ceremonial murder knife, but no... It just cuts vegetables into thin slices, but it's still pretty cool, I guess... I mean not as cool as a RITUAL SLICER would have been, but heh... Watcha gonna do?)

So that was today's excitment AND some comic-based advice from an arachnid analyst! Thanks for stopping by!!!

---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

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