Comedy Open Mic Round 47 - Feelin' All Christmasy

in #comedyopenmiclast year (edited)

It's that time of the year where we get 10% off bedsheets and overpriced spyware from the big box stores. At least the beer is good, really anything from fall to winter is when the good stuff gets brewed. We get to commit tree homicide and Greta Thunberg won't blink an eye.

The weather is getting cooler and you get to throw in a nice log into the fireplace. Unless of course you are Australian, and unfortunately your weather is just starting to get shittier. You might think twice about donating to charity, before quickly opening up your $5,000 OLED TV to play Death Stranding. We get to listen to the classics like Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas is You and that wonderful Christmas song by the Chipmunks (can we get that boy a damn hula hoop?)

Ahh yes, nothing beats spending hours and hours enjoying the finest things that Christmas has to offer. Just remember, that if you're lucky, jolly old St. Nick will parden you of your sins and save you from receiving a lump of coal. No, for you, you deserve only the best socks and teal sweater grandma has to offer.

With Love,

@theabsolute

Gif from giphy

I nominate @inertia and @buttcoins for the contest

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What is it with the beer tasting so much better this period?

All of the Christmas ales come out, like this Christmasy one

https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/285/776/

I don't know how, but that comment made me come up with this joke:

Fanta should change their name to Santa on Christmas.

I can pay you to laugh.

Hmm, Fanta Claus. They should brew it up once a year

That would be fantastic.

There's not enough bitcoin in the world to make me laugh.

Would you accept BitConnect instead? Last time I checked, some dude on stage was extremely excited about it. I lowered the volume but couldn't lower his enthusiasm. There must be something about that coin.

If you are on Santa's naughty list then you might get a lump of Bitconnect in your stocking

If it comes with that enthusiasm, I'll take it.

What the hell? Trump said he stopped the war on coal when he got into office. Now I'm triggered.

If it's a "war on" something, there is no end. I'm thinking about starting a war on elves next year

Bah. Humbug!

Scrooge was just a realist. That heating bill isn't paying itself ( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )