Merry Ne'kid Confectionery Christmas ~ Redux (NQSFW)*

in #christmasgoodiesnbitslast year (edited)

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"...Oooh, aren't THOSE cute. Oh, dear.....!!"

~ Merry Merry Very Merry Christmas, And To All A GOOD NIGHT!!!

~ § ~

The week leading up to Christmas is always a busy, hectic, yet fun time for me. Running about like the proverbial chicken, finishing up everything that should have been done weeks before yesterday, and getting ready for the BIG day. And one of the best parts of this whole shebang, and something that actually qualifies as an early present received before the 25th of December, is the advent of Small Ginger People Left On The Front Porch day.

My good friend Don and his girlfriend create these wondrous masterpieces every year. Hand-crafted ginger bread cookies in the shape of little folk. They bake them for all their friends, and just about everyone in town knows about them, and looks forward to them with confectionery gusto. Even if they don't get any.

- § -

And my bakery friends are very sneaky. They don't pre-announce the arrival of the treat. This all happens at the least expected time. Head out the front door to get the mail or chase a cat, and there they are. Stacked up like cookie cord-wood on their special little plate out on the front stoop. Staring up at you with their beady little wrinkly, currant eyes through the red and green transparent cello wrapping, in all their anthropomorphic glory.

Everyone involved with this Holiday reception looks forward to this ALL year long, with reckless Christmas abandon and glee. These things are that good. Made with real ginger, and all kinds of other secret Holiday Ingredients that I am fully un-aware of by name, but certainly do appreciate. Particularly once I bite their little heads off and continue on down to the last crumb, as soon as they hit the kitchen counter.

Actually, there is a more proper way to eat them. The correct technique is to start eating at the arm or leg. I realize there is no seasonal manual out there for this sort of thing, but it all just makes sense, if you take the time to think about it. Always start small, and work up to the good stuff at the last. It's a lot like the sport of bowling. Why get early strikes, when you can WOW everyone at the end with a massive, pin-dropping comeback?

One thing you must remember though, is to make sure to turn them over, before you start to eat. Otherwise, they stare up at you in their sad, doomed, doughy way, as if to plead “Hey, don't eat me, THEY look a whole lot better over THERE! On the other side of the plate!” Nah, I'm not buying it...just turn them over, and ruthlessly munch away.

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And on this year, as you can see, even MORE dough has been selectively added to these little snack people, than in previous installments. Our cookie creators' decided to model realistic, anatomically correct male and female ginger people of the flour-based variety. With all the bits and pieces and other parts pretty much where they're supposed to be. A tad lumpy and misshapen perhaps, but still mostly present and accounted for.

PLEASE NOTE: I made sure I properly displayed them on this site, as to not cause un-toward difficulties at home or office, in deference to those uncomfortable with too much nakedness in their Holiday snack items.

And as such, you can't see ALL of them, so you'll just have to trust me...those little doobers, daybob's, dollywoggles and the "other such" are all there. And for some reason, this seems to make them even harder to eat. Not only do they have eyes, and navels to mess about with your mind, but now, whenever I take a bite towards the privates, it causes a slight Chill in the Chestnuts. Oh well, nothing like a good taste-treat in the end, to help get one over difficult times. This year's batch didn't last long, that's for sure.

- § -

I enjoyed these Christmas treats so much, I've hatched an incredibly bold, Grandiose Plan of Epic Proportions. Since I can't sit out on the porch all year and wait for next December's delivery, deep planning and thinking of incredible forethought has come into play here. I need to make MORE cookies. LOT'S more cookies.

Hence, the last two doughy 'people' on the plate were spared their usual fate, and have received their very own special place in the house. A corner where it is quiet and warm with no distractions, nice suggestive music, and whatever else I can dream up that small cookie-people might require, in the realm of proper 'mood creation'.

I think it's all set. And if my timing is right, and I've correctly read the Reporte Bisquite' de Biologique, Volume 2 on the Internet, I should have a whole bunch MORE Christmas cookies to munch on by next Valentines day.

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So, Let's Get Busy With It, Little Ginger People!!

I'll keep you posted.


~ Finto ~

( :

*NQSFW-Not Quite Safe For Work

Poste Script: I've recently read that man-nipples, even on cookies, are now OK on the Internet. So we're alright here

Thanks for stopping in and viewing a bit of Confectionery Christmas Cheer (presented in all it's natural glory). If you have any thoughts about Christmas treats, cookies au naturale', wheat-based reproduction techniques, or anything else this post reminds you of, please feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.

- § -

Author's Note:

I do realize I have put this post out before, on Christmas. Which means if you are reading it once again, I am re-connecting with dear friends I have met and come to know on Steemit. Some for longer than three years. So, if you're still here, reading this, and recognize these randy cookies from Christmastime past, I say, how can that not be a wonderful thing? I find it all rather amazing, I've made friends from all around the globe, folks I would not have met any other way, except through the wondersite of Steemit. And we've maintained these personal ties for a long time. It's rather like the holidays themselves, gives you a warm, magical feeling somewhere deep within your being.

And if this is your first reading, well, as that one saying goes: "The only friends we don't have, are those we have not yet met." We can only hope some naked cookies will help take these friendships to a new level.

So, WITH further ado...

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays to all of you out there in the land of Steem

Please UPVOTE, COMMENT and FOLLOW if you enjoy my works.

And go to @ddschteinn -- There's a whole lot more...

Posted: 12/24/2019 @ 12:02 ~ Post No. 326

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Excerpts From Late-Night Conversations With A Mechanical Cat

Fact Number 162

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Sublime Sunday 2   Cats and eek sound.GIF


So happy to see you and Happy new year 2020. Hope to be about more this year, goals, right?

I LOVE this tradition and this iteration of 'naughty' treats is wonderfully hilarious.

Howdy, so nice to see you out and about again. It has been awhile, hasn't it? Life does get busy. I've not been on here much either, had knee surgery and still can't sit at a desk for long. Which is what writing and photo and Steemit commenting is all about ( :
Hope your world on the other coast is going well, and you aren't in over your head in the white, cold stuff. Gets old after awhile. Cheers to a nice Sunday, and Happy New Year, may it be a bonny good one.

Oh of course, just seeing it again never lessens the fun. Just like hearing Sandlers Hanukkah song or even about Santa Claus and His Old Lady by Cheech and Chong - it is a holiday tradition!

Ha haa, I've never been a full-on tradition before. But I'm in good company, with that list. I just figure Cookies in the Buff, much like a frozen stick of butter, are hard to beat. Happy Holidays my friend, and a grand New Year around the corner.

Ah! Good idea! Yeah! I’m reading it once again and can recognize these randy cookies from Christmastime past! I’m very glad that I am one of your friends on Steemit for longer than three years. WOW!

Well said! “I find it all rather amazing, I've made friends from all around the globe, folks I would not have met any other way, except through the wondersite of Steemit.” Me, too!

Wishing you Happy Holidays! ;)

Yes, they are rather popular from year to year. Though this year, no one showed up. Sad, but true.
I am glad we met years ago as well. Think we are a few of those left from the "old days". HH and some TSU folks too. It is amazing, how many folks are from all over. Happy New Year and may it be a good, happy one. Cheers, GFF

Ah! I also miss our good old friends, HH, @bleujay, and others, who didn't have any posts for long times. I do really hope they will come back and start posting again soon.

I'm happy that we still keep in touch and be a good friend forever.

Happy New Year, GFF! ;))

I am very happy as well. And sad that so many of my 'peeps' are no longer around. Then again, I've not been around much lately myself, so can't complain. Hope your New Year is shaping up nicely so far. Guess it's hard to say after a day O : But we gotta stay positive all the time ( :

I felt so sad, too. In the meantime, I'm glad that you started posting again.

Many thanks for your kind wishes. Yeah! I totally agree with you, "we gotta stay positive all the time".....

Wishing you a Happy and Wondrous New Year! ;)

No, no, no! Off with their heads or they will attack you! Eat head first then the rest...but... these ones... hmmm.... eating their private parts will feel kind of.... cannibal porn movie! hahaha

Small zombie cookies, sort of. Eat their heads first...sounds like a plan for necessary survival. Hope your Christmas was a grand one. Cheers to a great New Year.

I have to agree, it is proper ettiquette to eat an arm or leg first. I've done it that way since childhood. But maybe one should just get the genitals over with first - out of sight, out of mind. Well, I guess really you have come up with the best solution. Do you think ginger women can carry more then 4 ginger babes at a time? And how quickly do they grow? Surely you couldn't eat them in their infancy. So many problems. sigh

This is many aspects and angles to snack reproduction I had not considered, until tonight. (And it's certainly waa-ay too late to be messing about on Steemit. What else is new??) But I'm pretty sure small confectionery mothers-to-be are more like humans than kittens. One or two or so per. Then again, maybe sugar is like those fertility drugs. Hmm, and I also never considered the ramifications of the small fry snackage quotient. Wonder how long they take to reach edibility size without major consumptive guilt? Wow, so much to ponder... I need a nap.

pocketsend:11@ddschteinn, play around with the token of fun - POCKET!

Thanks, I appreciate the tokens. Have a nice New Years.

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Merry Xmas - I've never seen gingerbread porn before :)

It's fairly new, but probably won't catch on. The actors have a very short career span. Sad, but sweet, while it lasts...

Much Later: Dag, somehow I managed to vote for myself here. Talk about space case's....though I guess there's worse things going on in the world than a tiny self vote on Steemit...

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