Friendship or Love Relationship? Which is More Important?

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(Edited)

So you meet a nice girl or guy and you hit it off and everything is great, dreamy and romantic. Of course this phase happens before everything turns into shit. It happens after you fell for what your heart says: "fall in love, it's time, you won't get another chance, this is it, this girl or guy is the love of your life" and "you are meant to be together". At this moment, your mind comes into play and even starts to agree with your heart. It forces you to remember the nice moment you shared together or the inside jokes that makes the love you two share feel special like no one else ever loved you. When you are alone, you constantly think about or obsess over those good moments.

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love feels good, right?

Love Makes You Feel at Home

This is the vibe being in love gives you. Your heart will never allow you to think otherwise. When you are in love, you will never spoil it by thinking about that moment when it turns to shit. Some people might have fears at the beginning of their relationship with someone, they think over whether they should invest their emotions in a relationship or not, but if the universe wants to fuck them over, these people too experience falling for the trap. So, what I am trying to say is that you are no exception, no matter how much you run away or hide, you will get your heart broken by someone. "Love works in mysterious ways" right?

The Universe Prepares you for the Moment

The process happens slowly and one day you wake up in the morning and you realize that you can't live without this guy or girl. Why? because you are too much in love!. There is no other reason. If she is a "free spirit type" (wants to show i am free but looks for the best possible option she can get based on her looks and talents: rich, famous, something to later brag about) or a feminist (secretly wants all the attention male gender could give her, and never settles down) or if he is the "charming" type (=good emotional manipulator). These types are always surrounded by girls to attract more girls because girls always enjoy destroying each other in everything and he knows this fact and uses that in his advantage. He always says "enjoys women's company" if you suspect of him being a manipulator. The other type is the quiet mysterious type (screws up with your head like when a real vampire bites you and you turn). If you are involved with these types mentioned above in any way, you are screwed: For girls, I mean you are either the side-chick, or the horrible angry wife or the friend with benefit or some one who is "just too nice and helps everyone and never gets anything back".

For guys, I mean you are either the gay best friend who is only there to give madam an air of importance, because any strong woman has a gay best friend by her side or you are that friend who is handsome, but can't find a suitable mate because he is deeply hopeless and helps woman to fill that void. Or that guy who is a jealous psycho who is obsessed with a woman who is a master manipulator.

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You wish it would last forever, right?

The Time when You Don't Want to Lose Your Love Comes Sooner Than You Think

This is a difficult moment in your relationship history, if you had past bad experiences, this will make it worse. It is difficult, but it will pass sooner than you think. You might think that you wasted your time and energy on someone who turned out to be the opposite of what you wanted. You might think that whatever you do in relationships will fail and you don't know how to fix it. You will feel this way for a while and you might turn into a cynic who is internally a hopeless romantic or a sadist in your future relationships who will not be able to enjoy a healthy relationship; and is always afraid of betrayal. In the worse case scenario, you might become a psychopath and if you have watched enough films with murder and bloodshed or trained in the martial arts, you are good to go, and "you will always find a way to torture your target", yea this person will become your "target". In this way you destroy your future relationships by thinking over and analyzing your past relationships and becoming some sort of psycho.

People who Don't Become Heartbroken in Relationships Are on People's Nerves

Well, there are two types of people who won't get heartbroken in relationships. One type is those people who are so strong emotionally that your little emotionally immature cries of "help me, I am heartbroken" won't even get their full attention. We have the other type who are mostly remembered by the infamous words of "whore" or a "man-whore". You might think that these people have no emotions and just don't understand the depth of emotions normal people go through. You might think these people are broken beyond repair. But you are wrong, these people have emotion, they just don't care anymore. They saw it all, it's boring to them. These people are smart, if you ask me. They don't get caught up in the heartbreak process, because they know its pointless. They have done it so many times that it just doesn't have the same effect on them anymore.

Some people purposely choose to be with these types of people (the Whore and the Strong) because they think they can fix them (The Whores) or destroy them (The strong) and in this way they can feel good about themselves. They always fail. People are like gum, you can never break them, they will always find a way to get back up, you will never succeed in breaking someone if that is you plan. Even if they appear as such, don't believe them because they have found something that benefits them in the long run, either they write a book about their so called "misfortunes" and sell it or they find other ways.

There exist some selfish people who think that they can use these people (whore and strong) to gain something or to make their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend angry or use them as an in-between special someone to fill their shallow lonely lives. At the end, they are left with more selfishness and loneliness to share with the next person. They like these people because they know that they don't actually love you and they are safe options for people who don't want a serious relationships.

Friendship First then Love

If we suppose that we could be good friends to another human being without expecting anything in return, just being a good friend would be the start of any relationship, we would know if we would last with the other person or not. Because finding a good friend who is loyal to you is very hard, so if you can succeed in that, be sure that you can definitely find someone who both loves you and can be your best friend. Because good lovers have separated, but good friends always remember each other and stick together no matter what. This is the time you know you have truly made a bond with another human being when you are willing to do something you know your best friend would do if you were in trouble, even if it is dirty and might cause someone else loss in any area of their life.

When the bond we share with another human being becomes some kind of obligation that is pressured by society like marriage and relationships, it becomes a rule that everyone should follow to some degree, some kind of "trend". This makes people trapped and brings indecision because you are forced unconsciously to appear perfect and you should try your best otherwise you won't be "happy", that's what you want from life, right?. If you are not happy then there is something "wrong" with you and you should be "fixed". You try your best to have the perfect job, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect house, you name it and in the process you won't catch a break to just be, to just exist and be happy with your loyal friend by your side.

Thanks for reading.

Image Credit: Pixabay



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