Life Detected
I think I’ve been in a coma for about a month and I’m slowly coming back from it. The kaamosmasennus, seasonal affective disorder, which doesn’t sound half as fun in English, hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m usually just a bit depressed by the lack of light but can deal with it, not this time though, I’ve been struggling real bad.
I’ve had zero energy for anything and not even an ounce of inspiration for creating photos, just a total zombie for weeks and weeks. I’ve been cooped up in my apartment, barely awake, eating snacks and diving deep into netflix and youtube, feeling like shit. Don’t wanna see anyone, do anything and not even communicate via internet.
Last week I had some sort of social life which forced me to be up and out at daytime, and helped me get back into the right track. I know it’ll be a struggle to keep up but I’m determined to get to bed every night well before midnight and wake up without the alarm before sunrise. It feels so goooood.
I wonder when I will learn that sleeping at night, not having naps, eating healthy food and going outside is good for me. I am a cranky baby if my schedule gets messed up, even if I still get a lot of sleep, just at a wrong time. Why is it so hard to do the right thing, even when you know you’ll feel better, and so easy to fuck things up?
A regular job would fix that in a second. I you're ready to jump on the hamster wheel of course.
Go back to the kitchen, loose what ever health I have gained back in the past two years, feel like I want to murder everyone I work with and wanting to shoot myself in the leg, no thanks.
I knew it.
@bidesign loves you 😘
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It's been unusually dim and cold here, nothing to compare I guess but as I've been kind of under the weather I felt the brick myself, like I didn't even want to wash my hair or anything, just returned today because I had a song to share. I thought of you recently cos i'm recording a song in Finnish (winter special, up soon) and I thought well you'll notice all I pronounce wrong lol uh oh!
The lack of light must be brutal. I wouldn't cope. Here in England, it doesn't get as dark for as long as it does in Scandinavia and even then I struggle a bit. Have you considered moving to a Canary Island for winters. I saw a lot of people from Scandinavia on Gran Canaria that do just that.
You know I think i suffer from this the lat few months after moving have been shit. But I am really happy with my new place just pissed at the the things going on around my but I am getting back on for now after speaking to me spiritual teacher. Yes on wards and upwards. welcome back 💯🐒