About Turkey Day And Rules To Eat Free Food And Not Die!

Turkey day has arrived and everyone has been training their stomach for this day! It's been a long year and most of americans doesn't even eat turkey until Thanksgiving day. Why? Well, I'm not an expert but turkey is pricey AF... that's basically why I only eat that big bird once a year... Now, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving day for several reason but if you celebrate the day then I hope you have fun!

So I just eat turkey today. That's it... my family celebrate the day of eating turkey! Is a good excuse to eat lots of goodies... cooked by another person cause YAAAAY, ME NO COOKING TODAY! So I will just relax and eat the food another person cooked... but I paid... and make jokes with my family like always.

Now, to the "silliness" or this will be a very un-blacklux post!

Is Christmas already and that means free food everywhere! "This the season" for getting extra fluffy a.k.a. end up looking like a meatball and rolling instead of walking! So many free goodies everywhere will be hard to reject so I have 2 rules when it comes to eat free food without dying or end up at the hospital with food poisoning... or end up naked in a stranger bed... it can happen, y'all, it can happen.... never happened to me cause I follow the rules!

Rule #1: Check that food!

Never, NEVER eat something that looks suspicious! It doesn't matter how delicious something looks, if you see something weird in that food, walk away. If the bottle is opened and you didn't saw when it was opened, walk away. If you see a weird color or smell in that food, walk away. If that cookie have hair on it, WALK AWAY! Unless you like hairy food and want to end up with a nasty stomach, hugging the toilet! If a weird junkie offers you his special xmas drink that smells like poop and look like green goo... depending on how big your death wish is... walk away or go ahead.... and hug that toilet... but I would walk away.... even tho my island is full of illegal rum everywhere in this season and for some reason all the bottles smells and looks awful... but people say the contraband rum taste awesome... who knows... hugging toilet is not my thing... but YOLO, so... you decide!

Rule #2: Enjoy!

It doesn't matter how "fit" you are... seriously, stop saying how crappy that drawing is! I still learning how to draw bodies! Where was I? Oh yeah, you will end up fat! Free food + christmas = rolling instead of walking! So, diet in this season is a no go, eat that ice cream! Enjoy the food and worry about calories later! If you gonna eat like there's no tomorrow make sure to enjoy the moment instead of feeling remorse for eating like a piggy! You have an entire year to lose that extra weight, so enjoy the simple pleasures of life!

See? Simple rules to enjoy without dying of food poisoning! Oh and just cause tomorrow is #FungiFriday by @ewkaw I made this shroom... she have some issues there... some humans never learn!

All drawings were made in Autodesk stetchbook

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