Glad to be mistaken. Kaleidoscope of my small personal victories
I opened the saved drafts and found there three posts. I've been meaning to write something about myself for a long time, today I finally have a few minutes to finish it. I swear the fact I'm going to do this is a small win too.
I'm wrong all the time, but I'm glad about it. Did I said glad? I'm happy to be mistaken!
When I see empty windows of houses, the first thing that comes to mind - shelling.
When I hear a sound of a low flying moto bike, the first thing that comes to mind - air raid.
Banging of a metal doors or garbage can - explosion.
A message from a friend on my phone at 8 am "How are you?" - I slept through another shelling.
Woke up because of a smell of smoke - my first thought is about fire or shelling. The peat bogs around Kyiv are smoldering.
I'm happy to find out I'm mistaken. Although every time, every next time my first thought is like that. I don't flinch from fright, but every time something small inside of my chest squeezes and almost hurts.💔
I've got a message this morning. "During martial law, 457 air raid alarms sounded in Kyiv. The total duration of the air danger was 492 hours and 53 minutes." I became stronger, and one day closer to victory.
Yesterday, there was another small victory. I put on my heels, for the first time since... you know. And white floral trousers. 😂 Actually, I love heels, but yesterday it was like I forgot how to walk, besides they slow me down :D I have to learn (and train my body) how to be a woman again.
Also, yesterday I explored the shelter in our office building. I went down there during air raid. In all this time, I was in a true shelter for the 2nd time in my life.
You know, after Russia started openly bombing residential quarters and business centers, I became more careful. I really feel unsafe during air raids, because... everything around can be a target. Before that, I hoped that they are bad shooters.
They think we will be intimidated, or that it will break us. But in fact, it only makes us angry, and when Ukrainians are angry, they donate to volunteers and to the Armed Forces.😣💪
The fuel situation has improved. In the west of Ukraine, it is even better than here in Kyiv, I saw it with my own eyes. If you don't care about the quality of the fuel and who owns the gas station, then finding fuel is not a problem. The truth is that now some fuel has deteriorated, and cleaning the fuel system will be expensive.
Therefore, I fill up only at a gas station that I trust, and there is not always gasoline there (situation with diesel and LPG is better). Previously, my limit on the client's card was 25 liters, now it is 60 liters. Full tank..😉 During the entire period of shortage, I refueled the car only twice, because I usually go by feet or use public transport.
Tomorrow is Nick's Birthday! 💖😍🍹 I took a day off today. I cleaned our apartment, went to the market, pulled 3 heavy bags and prepared goodies for him for tomorrow. I didn't buy any present.😒 I always wait for inspiration and bright ideas, and they always come, but this year there was no inspiration. So, this will be all my gifts. A quiche, fruit jelly and a cake (hopefully).
I miss him so much, the previous version of him. I know his life is tough. When he's at home, he's still not with me, I see it, feel it. All I can is to take care of him, this is my contribution.
Summer is the harvesting season. Every year I go to my mother's village, we have fruit trees - cherries, apples, and plums. I prune the garden myself in the spring. From my travels to the Carpathians, I bring mushrooms and wild berries, mint and thyme. I didn't go anywhere this year. For me, traveling without my beloved ones makes no sense. But I know one place near Kyiv. There is a clearing in the forest where thyme grows. We have been going there for many years, it is our favorite place.
You know, they write on news that Kyiv lives a usual life. It may looks almost normal, indeed. I looked up for any info is that area is demined already, but didn't find any. So, finally Nick and I got in the car and dared to check if we can get to that meadow somehow. I supposed that probably I can left the car somewhere on the approach, and continue by feet, carefully watching our steps... LOL. I must be crazy. The forest park area was closed with tape and signs yet in the city, and driveway was blocked on the way to that place. Bummer. I asked Nick to stop the car. I got out to take a few pictures of the road sign that forbid the entry. In the same time, two military guys with a dog came from nowhere and headed toward us. I knew what what will be next, so I just ... waited for them. They asked me to delete photos. I obeyed. Then they asked to show our ID's. I asked when this area will be accessible again, they didn't answered, and we left. That's it. They do their job, and it's cool. I'll have to buy thyme this year, it's sucks.
My client from Mariupol reached out recently. She lost everything that was in her hometown - home, business. Trying to start over in Germany. And asked to translate user interface into German. Of course I agreed, even though I don't know German, but I am the only person who has access. I thought it would be easy. I forgot how many specific terms there are. In the end, it turned out to be a difficult task and a headache. I don't have the financial means to hire a translator, so I started mentioning friends who could help. But so far none of them have volunteered to help for free, I was badly surprised. So sad. And I do it myself while I can.
My new acquaintance and almost friend from Zaporizhzhia said that she wants to switch to talking in Ukrainian. She is not Ukrainian, she was born in Abkhazia, and spoke Russian all her life. She said that my Ukrainian is very good and beautiful and she wants to try to speak Ukrainian with me. I was very touched and very happy, and honored!
When I was a student, my friend and I once stood on the station platform and talked. Unfamiliar women standing nearby unwittingly overheard our conversation. They told us - you speak so beautifully, your language is very melodious! I was then told for the first time that my language is beautiful, I got embarrassed and did not know how to react. These women were from Moscow... I wonder what they are thinking now.
Did you know that the level of cortisol in the body increases closer to the evening? So you feel more unhappy or upset or angry. Before the war, I didn't know either, but now this difference has become very noticeable. Life hack - posts should be written in the morning or afternoon.😆
T̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶. I have to stop because jelly and cake won't prepare itself, LOL.
Thank you so much for your care, your help and your support!
I transfer the reward for my posts to where it is (in my opinion) most needed now. Thank you for helping me to help others. 💙💛
See you then.