What has been the worst advice you've received or given? - Weekend-Engagement topics: WEEK 275

This post is in response to the Weekend-Engagement topics: WEEK 275, there were 4 topics to choose from and the one I am choosing is definitely: "What has been the worst advice you've received or given?"

The option of the two that I am going to lean towards is: What has been the worst advice I have received?

The concept is pretty simple, but I need to give a small bit of background to get to the punchline:

I live in South Africa. I was born in 1986. In 1993, a Referendum was held among white citizens of South Africa to amend the constitution and allow non-whites to vote. Unlike the United States, the Black population of South Africa is the majority and not the minority.

Adults who voted for the reform, both those in favor and those opposed, knew what this would mean: the Black government would win the next election, the ANC would be the party to win it, and Nelson Mandela would be the next President of South Africa.

So in 1994, this is exactly what had happened.

I was 8 years old and the President of the country I was growing up in was a black man, the first black man to hold this title. In my prior 8 years, I had not known the violent or dark time of Apartheid.

I saw and interacted with black people in my daily life. I never saw my father be disrespectful to a black person. The housemaid who would come to clean our house was allowed to give me a hiding if I was naughty, though I don't remember me ever being that naughty.

One of my dad's workers would drive to my school and pick me up at the gate without needing to give proof of identity or permission. I would just get in the car and we'd head off.

So I never really experienced the dark side of Apartheid that others had. I know it happened and I have seen the evidence. I believe it happened. I saw more of the racial bias and tension arise later in my life when I got to my teens.

Many of the laws of South Africa changed under the new Government under the ANC leadership. They needed to give more to the black community; they needed to reform many things. In doing so, they changed certain things that felt to the White community as threats or as losses.

One of the laws that changed was the pass mark requirements for basic schooling was drastically lowered. This was to allow or give a reasonable chance to the previously disadvantaged students to pass their grades and earn some basic certification for later in life.

To many of the White community, this felt like a dropping of standards. All of a sudden, you could pass your First Language and Mathematics subjects on a 40%+ instead of a 60%+. Same with other subjects, the requirements and combinations you need to achieve in a grade to pass them are shockingly low.

It was because of these changes, even though my father was never an academical man, that he lost faith and respect in the Basic Education of South Africa.

Some other things happened and in 2001, at the age of 15, I had been in Private School and achieved basically the equivalent of a Grade 11, one more Grade to finish Secondary Education which is our second stage of Basic Education before going to University... and disaster struck.

My father's business was in ruin. He owed the school money. They told him that they would not release my final grades until he had paid. This is something that I have learned is illegal and has been illegal to do since the 1970's. No school can withhold marks/grades.

They can hold the parent responsible for paying the account, but they cannot withhold the paperwork.

My dad did not know that. He didn't fight it.

I also had had a terrible last year of school that year. Younger that all the other kids in my class and in the entire school but forced to share space with a bunch of rich brat kids. I hated it there.

I was always a kid who liked to read and learn. I would read ahead in textbooks and take out library books to further my general knowledge beyond what was required of us.

But those changed laws meant that the passmark would had been lowered there too and to my dad, he felt that these grades' value had been cheapened by that lowered standard. Many white adults did.

So when it came to deciding what I would do since I was not going back to school and my dad had not managed to place me... I wandered for a bit and eventually, after about 8 months at home, I got myself a job... then another and another.

And this comes to the WORST ADVICE that I had ever received: "Don't worry about getting your Grade 12, it's not worth the paper it is written on."

That was from my disgruntled father.

A combination of guilt at not being able to pay for my education and the aforementioned dislike of the new pass requirements.

Oh boy was he wrong.

I started out in jobs that I got because of people who knew me and worked my way up and up. Always dependable and always available, I eventually became a very skilled employee. Eventually, I ended up where I am now... 11 years in the HVAC trade.

And what do I need to get my Trade Test? A basic education!

But only Grade 9, so its easy. I have that... only, the governing body of my trade did not accept the paperwork I had. So I had to go back to the private High School I had attended, which had moved its premises by then.

They had no record of me anymore. I went to the Department of Basic Education's offices, and it turns out that they had never submitted and ratified my education with the Department... thus... There is no record, and I have no education!

It has taken me more than 6 years to get to the point where I finally qualify for the Trade test.

So... despite everything... I would recommend the following to my own kids: Stay in School. Finish School. Never mind the low pass mark, finish at the highest level that you are capable of, and then KEEP learning and gaining certificates.

Who knows what other opportunities I would have had if I had made sure to get my Grade 12 anyway? None can say. But I would have gotten my qualification and better income a long time ago if I HAD.

As someone who is struggling for money right now... I think that this advice and the possible changes that it creates are definitely big ones!

And that is my story and opinion on this question.

Cheers!
@zakludick

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