Mental roadblocks

I recently found myself in a state I found very interesting. There was something I liked and I wanted to do that wasn't exactly terrible but I just couldn't or didn't want to admit to myself that I actually liked that particular thing.

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It felt like a mental roadblock that I had to consciously push aside and tell myself that it's okay to like this thing and honestly no one would judge you for liking it and even if they did, it didn't really matter.

That brief conversation I had with myself made me think about the different times I'd had to kick down certain mental roadblocks and just live freely. In some cases, it's easy but in other cases, not so much.

I got thinking about how I kicked down the roadblock of religion. It was a big one for me because it meant pushing back on all the things my parents raised me to believe. It was hard.

I had to start questioning and giving myself the hard answers. The answers to the questions I'd been asking for years but was told I shouldn't ask. I forced myself to break free from that mental limitation and actually live.

Unfortunately, this isn't a truth about myself that I can share with just anyone in my immediate environment. My parents would be disappointed and I'd lose almost everyone close to me. So I keep it within me.

The roadblock of religion gave root to so many others that I only just began to break away from. The blocks that existed in my dressing and my sexuality were also some of the most difficult ones to kick back but so far, I've done a great job at gaining my freedom.

I still have a very long way to go. There are still a lot of cultural blocks that are also roots of religion that I'm working hard to move past but I'll do it soon enough.

As I go through life, I know there will be a lot more that I'll have to push against in order to further attain my mental freedom. I look forward to handling them with as much determination and inquisitiveness as I've handled all the others.