I'm not ungrateful

I have an unhealthy habit of comparing my present to a time in my past when things were a little better. I tend to do this especially on days like my my birthday. Days where the outcome is highly dependent on the changes that have happened in between.

It has more or less been the same cycle for the past 2 years now - I get broke a few days before my birthday and can't afford to make any plans then on my birthday I get a lot of monetary gifts and end up spending like crazy. This year was more or less the same with a twist.

I got quite broke and didn't even have enough for transportation back home but I knew I'd get some money from somewhere. I knew I wouldn't get half as much as I did last year due to how terrible the economy has gotten within this short period but I knew I'd still get gifted.

I got my first gift a few days before my birthday, my next gift came a day before and then a few more gifts came on my birthday, a friend showed up with another gift today and well, I have an entire weekend planned out.

Unlike in previous years, I'm letting myself be taken care of snd caring less about taking care of other people. It's my day. I shouldn't have to spend my money on a cake to entertain anyone. I don't expect anyone to spend money on me on their birthdays, as a matter of fact, I actively fight against it. I give gifts on people's birthdays and I do not demand that they throw a party and spend their money unless I get to contribute to it. I don't support that.

That being said, I had an amazing 24-hours of fame. I got a lot of calls and felt special. The collage is made up of most of the wishes and alerts I received. I truly felt loved and seen.

I'll be sharing more updates on celebrations that come up in the coming days as well. I expect to have an amazing next couple of days.