WANT TO RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

When it get to the point that people have to bring to your notice that you will be the one to ruin your relationship due to you allowing your past experience to dictate your present, then you should know that there is fire on the mountain.

Photo by Sohl from ISTOCKPHOTO

The fact that your previous relationship didn't end well does not mean that you should allow it influence the decisions you will make in the new one. It may be difficult to forget about your ex and all the bad memories you created with them but you should try your best possible not to allow it affect your new relationship.

Instead of you to heal and move on from the past relationship, you find it hard to have a new healthy relationship due to the pain that you have went through in the past. It may be difficult to let go and act as if everything is fine but it is the best that you can do for yourself and more importantly for your new relationship. For a person who have been in a bad relationship, it may seem right to stay clear of new relationship or going to the new relationship with some set of mindset that you would not want to change for anything.

Even though you are now in a new relationship several months after the last one ended you are always bothered, suspicious and at alert for the worst to happen. You are always sad in your new relationship because you're always looking for faults in your partner even when there shouldn't have been a cause for concern. So, just because your ex partner cheated on you when he or she went for a trip, you'd become so overprotective that anytime your new partner is going out of town, you begin to monitor their movements closely or even accusing them falsely. You constantly ask questions about the phone calls they make or about their friends who are of the opposite sex. Oftentimes, we do too much that we cross boundaries.

If you have been in a relationship that ended badly in the past it may affect your relationship with your new partner, your children and even people around you. You may decide to hide some of your past experiences from your spouse which may in turn become traumatic to you or even get triggered when you see something similar around you. There is a woman who was in a relationship with a musician for several years but the man cheated on her with her best friend which led to their breakup. This made the woman to stand against her daughter who she gave birth to in her new relationship who had passion for singing even after so many years that her relationship ended with her ex. She detested everything that have to do with music and musicians because of her bad relationship.

This is indirectly allowing her past to affect the career choice of her children. She have failed to move on and if care is not taken she will singlehandedly destroy her home. What she have failed to come to terms with is that it is her decision to live in the past. She has the choice to choose between moving on or living in the past. No matter how difficult it is to move on, it still depends on your decision. It is yours to decide whether you want to allow the pain you have felt in the past to define, consume and take control of your life.