WE #171: Breaking a Habit

I believe that I am one of the competitive students in our block in my 4th year of college. And because of this, it is inevitable that some of my classmates approach and ask for help when it comes to academic stuff. I find it an advantage because I also see myself as having the potential to be a good leader. I guide them, and at the same time, I learn to be accountable for what I do. I also see my own difficulty 'saying no' to other people especially when I know I have the ability to help them. This one is the most unproductive habit I have. Back then, I wasn't good and smart. I was just an average student in high school but when I entered college, it felt like I knew so much. I don't know what happened to me, but maybe it's like that if you've seen where your competency is.

There was a moment last semester when I felt that many of my classmates struggled academically, especially in thesis research. And because I just want to graduate well, I did my best to help other groups. For me, it challenges me when they have questions. I feel that I really want to know the answer and I will explain it to them. I feel like I'm very smart when I do this. But the thing here, I feel like I've been doing too much, enjoy to the point that I'm not helping them anymore, instead I'm spoonfeeding them more and more. This also happened to my group in Thesis, but because I was the leader of my group, I still ended up being the one to do the role I distributed to them. I asked my partner regarding this and he wants me to be stricter but I always tell him that I don't want to be a rude leader.

When Thesis defense day came, all groups were fried by the panelists because there were some lapses on their studies. And in my group- we had the highest grade which is 1.25. What's really annoying was that I was the only one who defended our study. After a very long nights and days of reviewing my other two members, I didn't get anything from them either because while the panelists were roasting me in our research, the two members of my group just stared at me. Maybe the funniest thing about what happened was that everyone saw how good I was at defense because I memorized my studies. My other classmate also took a video of that and I showed it to my group mates. I told them to listen carefully to my answers, review and take notes because by December, we will go through another defense again.

The lesson I learned from this is to say no when you know that other people are just taking advantage of your intelligence. Honestly, I really felt that last semester and this time when we went back to school, I want to be more strict. I want to break this habit of helping others because I realized that we are all studying. I know we have different strengths but this time, I want to avoid spoonfeeding them information because it won't help them either once they graduate from college and look for work.

I believe that when I reduce helping others, I have more time to pay attention to other things that will help me more. This time, I am learning to say "no" or "I am sorry but I am also researching about it" so that they will no longer bother to ask me what to do. When it comes to my group, I don't actually neglecting them because that will also reflect on my leadership and competence. But in order for me to help them better, I give references on how to do it, where to get resources and from time to time, I say hello to their activities. In this way, I have a better chance to avail myself of something else that directly helps me. So every time I'm available, I do academic commissions. I accept academic works and in return are monetary fees that I can use to sustain my studies. I do this online and I only accept works from other students from other schools and grade levels. And to my other free time, I do singing and tutoring my nine-year old child.

Anyways, that's all for this weeks' 171th weekend engagement created by @galenkp.