You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup - Hive-Reachout Weekly Prompt 110

One thing I can say for real is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. So you have to first take care of yourself before you even think of taking care of others.

If you are available for everyone at every time, a time will come that people will even take you for granted. That's the first part. The second part is that you are going to run dry if care is not taken.

If someone needs help and you want to be there at all time. If a friend has a problem and you want to make time for that friend. If a client needs extra work and immediately you want to dump whatever you are doing and go and tackle the client's project.

Though you might feel useful, a guru, a master. Someone that everybody has to come to. But as time goes on, you are burning out bit by bit.

And over time I have discovered that there is a hidden cause to this kind of a thing. Every yes that I give to someone else often becomes a no to myself. My goals get postponed.

Delayed important projects, ignore my need for rest, convince myself that I will catch up later and many more. The strange thing that comes with it is that I had no problem investing my time and energy. Even money in other people's.

Yet I often hesitated to make same investment in my own growth. Looking back, I don't think the issue was generosity. The issue was believing that my own need could always await me.

Another thing I have learnt over time is that when you care for yourself, it's not an act of pride, it's an act of responsibility. As someone working towards building a career in web design and AI automation, I realised that if I neglect my health, as time goes on, it's going to compound and I'm going to break down. And everyone else eventually feels the impact of this breakdown because the client will receive lower-quality work.

My creativity will also drop and my family gets tired of this version of me that I have become. Even the people who are looking for me to help them, they will not be able to get the help because the man is starting to fade. So what I do these days is set early boundaries all around my work.

I protect my time of learning, deep work, exercises, rest without feeling guilty. Surprisingly, this has not made me less helpful to a lot of people. But that's made me more dependable.

So people know the exact time that they are supposed to come to me and the time that they are not supposed to. I also believe that there's a difference between kindness and people-pleasing. Some people don't know the difference between these.

And in the process of being kind, they've become a people-pleaser. In the process of being a people-pleaser, they have lost themselves out. Kindness comes from genuine care.

People-pleasing often comes from a fear of disappointing others. While one is healthy, another one is draining; before you know it, you are gone. If you find the right balance to this thing, happy are you.

Life goes beyond choosing yourself over everyone else. At the same time, you may not be so selfish to the point that you want to only help yourself, not others. And you may want to claim that, oh, maybe it's because I don't want to burn out.

So because of that, you are not taking care of only yourself and your family and no one else outside. Trust me, there will be a day that you will need help. And those people that you have thrown away will be the one that you have to come to.

And at that point in time, it will be far gone. We have to understand that being emotionally healthy, mentally clear and when you are physically clear, at that point in time, you don't just have more to give.

You become someone who can truly give and have a lasting impact and make a difference.

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