RE: “I’m not sick!” My neighbor screamed, as they dragged her into the van

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Sorry, got very busy yesterday. Opened Hive today, saw your new post and realized I didn't comment back.. No offense taken, if in any case, your view on something is different than mine, I can't blame anyone for that as I have experienced some heavy things that made me see the world differently, while before these events I felt the same as most others.

but obviously if someone did something terrible, their side will be unreliable.

This is an important part, I had to go to "battle" with someone like that, while I had no intentions of even going to battle but settling things as normal human beings (even after his violence towards me). He was on a warpath and I could only deal with it, while at the same time he was telling lies to everyone around me. It's hard because at some point, I do believe that people start to question the victim thanks to those lies as well. Tough situation because if you're not close to the abuser, they have no reason to be mean or dangerous to outsiders, making them see a totally different person (read: the person the victim once fell for).

I was dating someone who was a little dangerous for a while, she was a textbook example of borderline personality disorder.

That must have been a challenge (understatement maybe). Those situations can be difficult indeed as they often seem to get misdiagnosed OR get e treatment that's actually meant for criminals (locking them up) while actually, they are waiting for the help they need. Sadly this seems to be very common nowadays.. :(

Thank you for reaching out, and I hope you always give yourself the love you deserve!

You're welcome, I've read more of your posts but sometimes get distracted and forget to respond. I will try to do better :)

I haven't done for many years (love I deserve) but the past years have changed me a lot, and the thing I'm most proud of is that we (my partner and I) have managed to crawl up from where we were on our own strength in a foreign country, now doing better than before the horrible events started in our lives..



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I am glad you are out of that relationship, I really feel for you.

It is really sad when people do something bad and then they feel they need to double down in order to defend themselves for doing something bad instead of admitting that they've done wrong.

Yeah, it was definitely a low point in my life. I did not realize how common this kind of thing is, but I've since have strong boundaries that I will not let anyone break. If it's an accident or only words and only once, they may get a pass, but I do not reward any abusive behavior just because it comes with an apology.

It sounds like we are quite similar. My partner and I are also living abroad, and from different countries, and we learned together how to stop accepting abuse and to stop being abusive when we didn't realize we were being abusive. I am glad you are moving up out of that too!

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Lol, it makes two of us trust me (actually three of us, because my boyfriend was a friend at the time I was in that relationship, and he was all too happy when I started to see the light). It's just so freaking weird that you wear pink glasses and your boundaries slowly fade..

What I learned, and so did you, so it seems from reading your comment, is to have a very good radar for people with these type of personalities and I will not allow them near my family. There have been a few occasions where work related friends of my boyfriend were invited in our home, and I instantly had radars go off, so didn't want them in our home anymore. At first, it was a bit of a struggle to make him see what I saw, as my radar can go off real early without any other signs to confirm, but I learned to trust that gut feeling as it has never failed me. While on the other hand, I have failed listening to it for years and it cost me a lot.

At least I grew as a person and learned some good life lessons, right? Got to try to see the positive sides to not dwell in misery. And I feel you, honestly I do, I know my strong reactions to triggers from the past ( maybe a word said by my boyfriend was enough to let me go off) have caused me a lot of anger, while in fact I wasn't angry at him, but still processing traumas and triggers. But I do believe if a relationship is strong enough to get through that, you can make anything work!

Where are you both from if I may ask? :) if that's too private, please just don't answer :)

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Not too private for discord. I'm from the US. I can talk more about her off chain ;-) discord: whatamIdoing#4716

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