One of Life’s Rarest Gifts
I used to think loneliness was something we experienced when we were physically alone but adulthood has taught me otherwise. I have hundreds of contacts on my phone, a full work schedule, family around, yet, I wonder when I last had a conversation that wasn’t transactional, or interrupted by a seemingly random and not very pleasing notification.
Making friends as a child was surprisingly simple. All you needed to do was sit next to someone in class or share snacks and the next thing you knew, you had a best friend or best friends but as adults, it seems friendship(s) is complicated. Everyone is busy working to survive this life that we’ll all die from in the end. People are so tired and all they can offer are fake promises to catch up soon knowing the word soon might mean six months ahead.
The older we get, the more friendships seem to depend on convenience. They’re moving cities, getting married and having kids, and before we realize it, entire friendships have faded. It’s not really because anyone did anything wrong, but life literally kept moving.
What makes it even harder is that this loneliness is not so obvious as it seems like scrolling through your contacts, knowing there are plenty of names there, but not knowing who you can call without feeling like you’re disturbing them.
It gets somewhat overwhelming when I find myself celebrating wins alone because everyone else seems too busy to care. The loneliness really hits when I’m deep in a difficult season, but I pocket it and suffer in silence because I don’t want to feel like a burden.
I don’t think we talk enough about how much intentional effort adult friendships require. They don’t survive on history alone. Our friendships survive because the said friends keeps reaching out and asks deeply how the other is doing and genuinely waits for an honest answer.
As adults, I assume the goal isn’t to have dozens of friends. Having a few people with whom silence isn't awkward, or vulnerability seen as embarrassing is ideal. The world is now so toxic and everyone is fighting for their lives, therefore in the midst of all these, if you have genuine companionship, you basically have one of life’s rarest gifts.
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