I Fell In Love With Hope

I'm led to believe that Lancali must have lived the life of at least one of her characters. If not, how was she able to make us 'live' the book?
Her storytelling prowess and narrative style is honestly brilliant. Every gut wrenching and hope induced sensation was felt. The different waves of emotions that coursed through me when I began reading this novel, hit like a tsunami.

It doesn't help that immediately you open the book, you're hit with one of the saddest lines to be told to anyone, "the love of my life wants to die".
This is one of those novels you pick up to read and know you'll never forget. One of those books that the characters speak to you in ways you're sure you'll always remember.

'I-Fell-in-Love-With-Hope' is a story about Sam, a story told in a first person narrative.

Sam is a sick person, although we are not told what kind of sickness it is. Sam is an awfully broken character, who has had to watch his lover die through suicide. Despite attempting to keep him, by telling him his deepest secret, he still goes over and ends his life, leaving Sam a heartbroken and negative person.

It is through Sam we know about the other terminally ill teenagers living in the hospital. There's Neo, a bad tempered writer in a wheelchair who has an eating disorder and would only eat apples, Sony, the carefree and wild one who leads the gang with one lungs, she damages one of her lungs in the process of aborting a baby, Coeur who is known as C, the beautiful muscular boy who although has a heart problem, lovingly gives his heart to others. All four of them with chronic illnesses and bleak reality.

With such a reality, the narrator makes us understand that these teenagers look for ways to feel something different from what they are used to, the pain, sickness and the looming shadow of death.

They resort to stealing as a means of experiencing an adrenaline rush and the feeling of recklessness accompanied by teenage-hood. They make a hit list of what they'll like to steal until the grim reaper comes knocking. One night, all four of them succeed in robbing a gas station, by manipulating the store attendant with fake stories of cancer and dying. They steal cigarettes and beer amongst a few other things which they do not really need, but steal as a way of metaphorically stealing back what life stole from them- good health and a chance at better life.

All of them live with innate anger for themselves and what their lives have become, and plan one last final heist before submitting to death. This heist they plan will take them far away from abusive parents like Neo's father who loves him to the point of being abusive, gut wrenching loss, and the constant reminder that there is only little they can do to save themselves from death.

All is set for this grand final heist until a shadow of hope burst through the hospital doors in form of Hikari. The novel describes her as 'beautiful and sun-eyed', a combination that screams hope. Having no intention to get better, she immediately joins Sony's gang.

This novel tells a beautiful story of finding love in the midst of pain and hope in the face of hopelessness. Neo, who is my favorite character, because he writes incredibly. He does not feel loved by his parents but he believes they love him, but that love is false because while Neo's father is abusive and disapproves of his writing, his mother barely tolerates him. This makes Neo feel empty and believe he is nothing, until Coeur comes along and attempts to fill the emptiness they have both felt through the years with love for each other.

With Hikari's arrival, all four of them find ways to live their lives again to the fullest and find a love that transforms and transcends their realities. It is Hikari's arrival that makes them feel the fulfillment that impulsive stealing couldn't make them feel.

This book explores family, love, and friendships and how each of these have the ability to affect our lives. It makes us realize how much we take these things for granted until we can no longer have them. I found myself connecting with the characters, and in a way I wish there was something I could do to help them.

In a way, I love how the author progressed the characters alongside the plot. Each of them evolve right from the beginning of the book through the end. Something changes in them, and they each all manage to find a way to hope on something or hold onto someone. I also love how the author relates the novel to problematic issues relevant to the 21st-century teenager. Issues like chronic illnesses, mental health, strained family relationships, losing loved ones, suicide, domestic abuse, abortion, amongst others and shows readers a way of finding hope again.

This book made me shed tears because most of the quotes in it were heartfelt and I couldn't believe how true they were.
"Time, Death and Diseases are the greatest thieves in the world". They steal without bargain and do not give you an opportunity of recovering what they have stolen. And even if Lancali might not have lived the lives of any of the characters, she sure made sure her characters became attached and empathetic towards them.

Lancali has made sure that readers like me who are romance novel freaks would better appreciate and romanticize our lives, family and friendship, because the greatest thieves in the world might just snatch them anytime.

If you feel hopeless, and need something to remind you of just how lucky you are, and how there is hope in almost every bad situation, then picking up this novel to read is definitely a great idea. However, be prepared for the ride of emotions you'll experience.

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