Celebrating my 28th Year of Gratefulness and My First Birthday Without My Mother

Yesterday, I celebrated my 28th birthday.

I can't help but reflect on what an incredible year it has been as my birthday approaches. The past year has been full of learning, growth, and laughter. Of course, there's also the difficult but necessary journey of adjusting to life without my mother.

This is the first year, and I won't be able to do just that.
This is my first official birthday without my mother; for the first time, I won't get to see her or have her give me a kiss and an embrace.

Even though I have yet to reach my intended destination, there are many reasons for gratitude when considering where I started and how far I've come. I am incredibly grateful, if only for the gift of freedom and the wonder of sleeping and waking up to celebrate another birthday. Experiencing another birthday brings an indescribable yet unquestionable joy.

I've learned that life is a gift that gives more than anything else. One vital lesson is that hope is an inevitable outcome of life; as long as life is maintained, hope will always exist. Despite the apparent swerving of events, I recall that a significant number of individuals who have lost their lives would have happily chosen the difficulties overtaking their own lives.

If I am honest with myself, I will realize that even though I may not have gotten everything I asked for, I have gotten a lot of things that I never asked for. I will always be grateful for all of the following: the hardships that made me stronger inside, the guidance that made me wiser, the joys that brought a smile to my face, the favors that made my meager efforts yield enormous rewards and the mercies that covered up my flaws.

A part of my smile is made up of my family and friends, and I will always be grateful for that. It has been said that "Family and friends are part of what makes us stronger, makes us feel belonged, and of course, gives us the purpose to live." They never gave up on me despite my mistakes, inadequacies, and faults, and now I've improved upon myself.

Birthdays are undoubtedly millions of moments to reflect on one's blessings. I can't help but feel grateful for everything in my life right now. I still consider any losses I've had in the past to be blessings because I didn't lose everything.

On this note, I would like to say a heartfelt thank you to all of my friends and family and everyone who has shared my life's journey and positively impacted it.

And I want to say this for my mother, my guardian angel:

Things change when you're not around. Things become more painful and less lovely as a result. I'm sitting here today reflecting on this day 28 years ago. That was the day you took on motherhood. That was the day I was born, thanks to you.

You were likely unaware that the instant you gave birth to me, you transcended beyond being a mother. You started to inspire others. You rose to hero status. I always wanted to be like you. I was impressed by all aspects of you. Your unwavering support, unselfish love, and commitment to being the best mother a child could ask for continue to inspire me today. I will always aspire to be exactly like you.

Our journey started twenty-eight years ago. I became the luckiest girl alive and your daughter. Having been your daughter was a gift. My first and best gift was that one. I'll mark this day—the day I met you—if I have to celebrate my birthday without you.

I'll commemorate the day I met you rather than calculate how many candles I've blown out without you being here. That fact will make my life blessed for eternity. It's simple to rejoice over you.

So, instead of making a wish when I blow out my candles, I'll remember the moment we met and not focus on the fact that you're not here.

Every single second of every day, I miss you. Mom, I love you! Always.

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My mom is no longer with me, but even so, I know that I will never truly celebrate another birthday without her because she is always in my heart and at my side now. Every day, I sense her.

I can hear her rejoicing alongside me. I listen to her encouraging me. She is driving me forward into this new phase of my life.

To travel, act, and live.
To serve as her legacy.
I have never felt more alive, to be honest.