A Queen has been Called Back to Heaven

Not parted... only just apart.

Our family would never forget the date July 3 from now on for it is the date our mother has bid us farewell. 9 days of battling sickness at the intensive care unit and enduring the excruciating pain..

My mama is strong.

My mama is a fighter.

Losing a mother is a huge loss that it leaves a hollow space in your heart. Moms are irreplaceable. Their love towards their child/children can never be duplicated.

From now on, our family is going to live and wake up each day without her. Our family has to get used to this reality.

This reality is difficult for us as everything only happened in a span of three months. Mama was still strong and healthy way back March of this year, until April came. Her health gradually deteriorated until we found out there was already a tumor in her brain which originated from her stomach.
Mama was then diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer with brain metastasis. Doctors told us she only has a few months or years to live; that her death is inevitable. That's something difficult to accept for us.

She was confined at the hospital from May 24 to June 11 and was rushed to emergency on June 24, where she was intubated and sent to the icu. There she stayed for 9 days.

9 days of pain and suffering. She was partially unconscious and would only respond by tilting her head. According to her Pulmonologist, she had an infection in the lungs which led to pneumonia. She also became diabetic due to the steroid she's taking and some kidney problems were also discovered.

Days went by and meds given to her became too much that made her body swell so much. It became very difficult for them to locate even a single vein. Water started popping out of her skin which caused blisters all over her body. She also had bed sores. Seeing all her wounds breaks my heart. I don't know how painful that is, plus the tubes inserted in her mouth and nose. They gave her a diuretic medicine but it doesn't seem to work.

Her infection in the lungs started getting better around 4th and 5th day. Doctor also lowered her ventilator to partial support. Mama can now open her eyes.

We felt that there is hope.

June 30 came, I didn't feel well so I have to go home and rest. I'm probably exhausted and stressed, or maybe my body could no longer stand the cold temperature in the icu. I rested for 2 days while my brother was left alone watching over mama, also for 2 days. I prayed to recover asap so I can return and my brother can rest too at home.

I went back morning of July 2, and I saw mama wasn't doing well. Her condition turned for the worse. Her urine has blood in it and blood also comes out from her NG tube whenever the nurse attempted to feed her. Her blisters had worsen and she can barely open her eyes again. Doctors can't proceed with tracheostomy because her hemoglobin dropped, so they had to put back her platelet count back to normal before proceeding to the operation. Her ventilator was also returned to full support.

We're lucky because mama's blood type is B+ and we were able to find some. However, there was a problem. Mama's platelet count didn't rise that much. And so her Hemotologist requested for platelet apheresis. And again, we were lucky to find a donor. A doctor friend of my brother volunteered and spent half of his day helping my brother.

The platelet apheresis should be given to mama asap, however, her body was swelled up so they can no longer locate a single vein in her arms. They try to avoid inserting in her feet because she's diabetic. Salute to her night shift and last nurse because she didn't give up until the wee hours of morning. She turned off the light and used a pen light to locate a nerve. She also made a hot compress using the gloves and placed it under my mama's hands and feet. She was able to find a vein and successfully inserted an IV needle. The platelet apheresis transfussion then began.

About 2 hours later, mama's heart rate and oxygen level began dropping. I had bad feeling. The day before, nurses and doctors could hardly hear mama's blood pressure. Her nurse asked us to get the emergency meds at the pharmacy and injected it in my mama. Heart rate and oxygen level improved but then few moments later, it went dropping again. Heart rate went down to 50..40..30..20.. Seeing the numbers go down is like telling me I should get prepared for the worst.

Mama held on but few hours later again, the heart rate graph on the monitor started to form into an almost straight line. Nurses were called and they prepared to do cpr. They were able to revive mama on the 3rd cpr but for only 3 seconds. After the 10th, the last cpr attempt, mama no longer woke up and she was declared dead. Nurses said their condolonces and we went inside the room to say our goodbyes. My sister also said her goodbyes through video call. I feel very sad for her. I wish she were here.

July 3 was a very long day for us. We have to settle the hospital bill, call a funerary service, buy clothes for mama to be used when she's in the casket. Choose a casket. Rent the chapel. And prepare for the wake the next day.

Right now, we're here at the chapel waiting for our sister to come home so she could see mama even for the last time.

This arc of our lives is too painful. It would never be the same without her.

We did what we can to save our mama. Gave our time, effort, and love to let her know that we are with her in this battle. We are going to miss you soooo much, mama. Sorry you have to suffer a lot on your last moments. Wish you could visit us in our dreams and tell us how you are doing up there with the Lord.

Watch over us. Guide us.

Our strongest guardian angel. Our mama.

Until next time. 🤍