The Nigerian Culture of Reading the Room

We, as Nigerians, can read the room, especially one with so many unspoken rules or inside jokes. It is the ability to know when to understand where your presence is not wanted. It is uncovering the jokes of where we are. It is something that has been imbued in us from a young age. Yeah, if you were once an individual with a Nigerian background, you would understand what I am saying.

You know those moments where our parents have a guest over in the house. After the exchange of pleasantries, nobody tells you when to disappear from the living room. Next up is you in your room waiting for the guest to leave before you can go back to watching your favourite show on the TV. That is one typical example of someone who told you to get lost or leave the room. It is the Nigerian instinct being imbued in you from a young age. You are not yet privileged to the grown-up conversations.

This builds into a culture of reading the room even when you are much older. It takes nothing much to understand the hierarchy that tells when to speak or the kind of jokes to crack. It even goes to understanding the emotion on one's face. It started off from our parents' look on their faces, especially when one is being naughty in public. Your mother does not need to tell you she is super pissed with you; all she has to do is give you the strange eye or something Hollywood movies like to call the stink eye.

The beauty of this is how it has become universal for all without holding back. One is now in the adult face of things, and I find myself looking at facial cues before engaging in certain conversations. Making it my cue to know how to relate to others. This simple understanding can help build a sustainable relationship with people, especially strangers for the first time.

It is not about the hierarchy; it is a subtle habit we have been taught from a young age. Even in family gatherings, occasions, work functions or any other kind of social gathering, it becomes a pattern in starting a conversation. We first of all look at the facial expression of the other person before engaging them in a conversation. This is why you can get a lot of questions like what is wrong with you, especially when your face is all grumpled.

Then take it to a presence when you sense your presence is not welcome. You do not have to be told; just let your Nigerian instinct of reading the room do its job, and you will decode instantly. Just the same, you did not need to be told when to vacate the living room when there is a guest. These simple things become verbal cues and understanding we use when we are much older. It is like when we were told at a much younger age that you will understand when you are much older, and this is one of them.

The ability to read the room is a special talent we have all grabbed along the way of our growing up. These things have now become a part of us for our adulthood, and we use them in our daily social interactions.

_{I am @samostically, a chess player and writer. I love to share the experience I have gained from different battles over the 64 squares and the knowledgeable insights from books I have read. But most importantly, I am a Midnight Owl and I founded the community Midnight Letters.}