Nigeria's Culture of Respect

When it comes to respect for Nigerians, it is not something that can be taught alone, but rather something that is also experienced in real time. Right from childhood, before your brain is fully developed into that of an adult, you already get a taste of what respect is and what it is not. I am not only talking about greeting your elders early in the morning, although that is one of them; I am also discussing the consequences that come with not being respectful.

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There is a unique facial look we get from our parents, most especially African mothers, when you mess up in public. Oh, that gaze alone on her face can be detrimental to your well-being. When you get it, you know you are already in trouble when you get home. For sure, I have gotten my fair share of that gaze. That is not all in the aspect of respect. A common one I have also fallen victim to is forgetting to greet an elderly person first and letting the elderly person be the one to initiate the greeting. At that moment, just have it at the back of your mind that the greeting is kind of a sarcastic response to remind you to greet. Recently, my friend fell victim to that with his elderly aunt, and her response was boy let us greet ourselves na, or is there an issue with us. My friend, being wise and aware of the Nigerian culture dynamics, immediately laughed and said aunty my mind was somewhere else, then he greeted me immediately.

Greeting is not the only form that makes up the Nigerian culture of respect; it can also be found in the way you talk to your elder or the way you engage in a conversation with them. It is taken seriously in most culture and even in certain languages in Nigeria, there is a different form of pronunciation for certain words for an elder, your tone of speaking, and above all, you cannot engage in an argument with them. If you argue, it is considered disrespectful. It is always widely considered not to refer to a person by their first name, especially one who is way older than you, hence the origin of the uncle and aunty word before calling their name. If the person is Bode, then it becomes Uncle Bode, and this cuts across people who are not actually related to you by family ties,s but just as long as they are way older than you, therefore they earn the uncle or aunt title.

Then there is the respect that comes from silence when being spoken to. When being spoken to by an elderly person in most cases in the form of a scolding, you are considered to be quiet and take your scolding, or at least wait until the older person is done saying what they have to say. Give them that silence is the form of silence, and it makes up the cultural dynamics in Nigeria. Talking back will bring about statements like you have grown big now, and you know everything or the popular one from African mothers, oh, you want to beat me abi, you now have wings. These things and more make up the Nigerian culture of respect.

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_{I am @samostically, a chess player and writer. I love to share the experience I have gained from different battles over the 64 squares and the knowledgeable insights from books I have read. But most importantly, I am a Midnight Owl and I founded the community Midnight Letters.}

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