Is There A Right Time To Get Angry?
Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.
- Joel Osteen
In the world we live in today, it's difficult to stay quiet. Environment plays a big role in shaping any human behaviour, An incident happened earlier this month that has weighed me down as I let the anger part of me out. Some might argue that I could have avoided the scenario but I will finally let my thoughts out in this post. I didn't initially plan to write about this but I was inspired by a friend to vent my thoughts and I hope my thoughts process is understood.
I live alone in a compound filled with other tenants, I stay in my one-room apartment minding my business and going about my bachelor's life. My routines are practically simple and engaging with my neighbours once in a while is included.
Before the day of the incident, I usually hear loud cries from a child, about 9 years old beaten by his mother very early. The cry is usually a daily something as sometimes it rings before my 7 am morning alarm(I wake up late). I always felt like asking what the problem was, as I know the kid to be a good boy. I frequently play games with the boy and I also promised to coach him on how to play chess(which obviously might not happen again).
I woke up that fateful day by 6 am as I wanted to start an early morning exercise routine(which again ended abruptly), my compound is large and I thought jogging around would be cool for a start. Just 20mins in, I saw the young boy run out of the house straight to me and say the words "brother, help me" and I asked what happened? And his words were
My mummy is going to beat me because I don't know how to pray.
As he was talking, the mother came out and shouted his name telling him to come around. she held a belt ready to weep the child when I interrupted very calmly, and asked what the issue was. She just said it's none of my business, I now inquired to confirm if what the boy told me was true by asking her. Are you beating your child because he doesn't know how to pray? Then she immediately replied that she doesn't mind killing him, that he is a disgrace to her family, that he doesn't know the Bible and can't even utter 10 lines of prayer.
Immediately I got very angry because I know how often and loud this boy was being beaten everyday, I said some bad words to her straight away and I couldn't stop, she also kept yelling back at me and in few minutes the whole compound was awake. I wish I said more and at the same time I felt a different person while I was angry.
I am a Christian and I believe in God, but I hate violence due to religion, in my country religion is by birth not by choice. I was told to apologise which its been two weeks and I haven't because deep down I feel right. Good thing is that since then I haven't heard the boy cry loud again but rumours have it that he is being treated badly in other areas.
Was I Right To Be Angry?,Should I Apologize?
Please feel free to let me know what you think
Thanks For Your Attention.
Written by @Samostically
Some Of My Free thoughts Writings You might Like
A Glimmer Of Hope
Midnight Snack 6/10/2021: Are Humans Fundamentally Good or Bad?
You can Also Reach me on;
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Discord: Samostically#8674
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I admire you for protecting the little boy. Most people would stay out of it, but the boy ran to you. How could you leave him and not help?
Deep down I feel sorry for the boy's mother, as she is carrying her own pain and projecting it onto her son, who underneath it all she loves more than anything. I pray that she sees the error of her ways and talks to the boy instead.
I would not apologise if I was you for what you did, but instead you could say something like:
"I'm sorry if I offended you, but I did so because in my opinion hitting a child is morally wrong and it is better to talk to the child, like I am talking to you"
Something along those lines. Good luck with it friend.
Really thanks for your feedback and support.
I plan to do something like that this weekend, but the build up has been tough because she hasn't be responding to my greetings. But the truth is,she is a really nice person;just that she takes her children too seriously.
Thanks again for your kind words and advice.
!giphy Thank you
Via Tenor
You're more than welcome. Let us know how it goes.
Good advice. See my reply also
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i think you did well, as the beatings seem to have stopped. Thank you.
However, you were reacting whilst feeling upset whilst not being fully present, as opposed to responding with present moment awareness.
We are not taught how to do this. We are taught how to react, not respond. It is possible to learn though, to reprogram the subconscious mind and integrate our unintegrated emotions, which are the cause of the reactions. If we do this then our actions can be kinder and more effective. We can feel the anger (or whatever feeling it is) and if necessary consciously act in an angry yet kind manner. Anger is a very powerful feeling and can move mountains (without destroying them, if we are present). I highly recommend The Presence Process by Michael Brown for emotional integration. Have pdf, can send on request.
Namaste
Atma
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Excellent outlook and advise @atma.love
So often people dive straight into anger, without even thinking, i do it myself at times, and then feel bad afterwards. Anger is rarely the solution.
i think you may have unfollowed me by mistake, not sure. I know there is an @ecency bug which can lead a user to think they have not followed so press follow twice, thereby unfollowing. They have said they will hopefully fix in next update
Thanks for heads up, re-followed now 👍
Exactly,I was even surprised at the end with my reactions,I never believed I could be say some of this things I said, that is another reason I shared this on Hive. And I'm glad and okay with the feedbacks I have gotten.I appreciate you.
Thank you so much, I would send you a private message on telegram so I can get the book.
Go ahead and do that to remind me, as its late now, need to sleep
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In your place, i would be livid. That woman needs some sense knocked into her.
But...if you still want to be close to the boy(which is essential because you can teach him what she can't), another measure is required. I had to go through almost the same thing with my baby boy of just ten. His father isn't the most understanding. But just to be there for that kid, I'd overlook alot
Yes I think,I will apologise to the woman just to get closer to the kid again..thanks
Well if you feel that's best, go ahead😊
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To teach him, I have to apologise to his mother to get closer to him. And yes I figured out he's probably a slow learner. I will try my best. Overall I feel different now and it's important for my mental health. Thanks alot @thekittygirl for your support💫
Omo, you feel better about the action you took, that's what matters.
Many a little circumstances like this causes a child to go through psychological problems. I remember when I was little and being asked questions even though I knew the answer but because of fear of the other person's reaction, the best option is to keep quiet.
It's sad to say that my country Nigeria doesn't permit chance for failure.
So its possible the boy does it intentionally? Me too I've been wondering, it can't be that bad na. Anyway thanks for stopping by.
You can't rule the possibility of him not knowing how to pray, come on kids are so smart that they simply learn by observing.
The mom claims to be " a prayer warrior" so the boy would definitely know some lines but the moms scolding hinders him.
It can't be that bad exactly.