SPLITTING BILLS OR NOT

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Hi guys,

First , before you venture into reading this article before you, I need you to ask yourself?, are you open to a 50/50 bill split in your marriage or relationship? Or any other fraction?. What are your reservations toward the topic bills in your home?.or even when you go out on a date?

The world we live in today comes with a high cost daily, you may think to yourself

ohhh I do not want to step out today so that I do not spend much

But newsflash, bills and spending meets one right in the comfort of ones bed these days and it is as annoying as it is shocking.

Just yesterday in my home, out of no where, the remote control of our DSTV stopped working on its own, first I have been noticing that the some of the buttons were getting harder to press or would require and extra amount of pressure for it to work, but yesterday, they all stopped working, I changed the batteries and it was the same thing. So husband man had to call the DSTV office to bring us a new one and just like that We spent #10,000 (almost $20) right in the comfort of our home.

So what inspired this topic in my Mind?
I’ll tell you now.

I have a typical Nigerian man for a husband, when I say this I mean, our men here like to be in charge monetarily, and taking care of their home and wives is their pride and joy, of course I won’t say all our men are like this because there are always bad fruits in a basket, but a larger percentage of men want to be the sole bread winners of their home.

Isn’t that a woman’s ultimate dream, to be taken care of and provided for?. Well yes it is but am not sure to all women, because I for one became very uncomfortable watching my Man pay for everything singlehandly.
As a wife that works and earn, I have multiple Buisnesses that brings me money, some daily, some weekly, my money started feeling too useless in my eyes.

One thing I noticed too was that, he never liked when I go ahead to use my money to pay for things, he would always ask “How much did you spend for it? Ok I will send you,” and then he goes ahead to reimburse me what I spent either for the home or even for myself.

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You see, when I was unmarried, I had this resolution in my heart that I was never going to be a penniless wife, or a wife that would not own her own money. I would even brag then that I wanted to be that wife that when her husband is stranded financially at Anytime instead of him heading to the bank to take out a loan, would have the confidence that his wife has more than enough funds to lend him in his time of troubles. And to be honest that has been my drive, to make enough money to be able to back up my man any day any time if the need arises.

Recently, that being four months ago, I made an appeal to husband man, to please allow me pay for one thing in the house , even if it’s light units, he was so reluctant but after much persuasion he agreed.

How do I begin to explain the joy I get from just paying For light in my home now, it feels so useful and powerful to me. Everytime I make a payment now for light unit because we use a prepaid meter, I feel so empowered, it’s a feeling I can’t explain.

Does anyone get me?

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Watching him all these while pay for every single small thing in the home that wouldn’t cost me much to pay for, felt very redundant to me, not that he was struggling In any way to pay for them, but I was struggling with the woman in me that felt too useless monetarily to my man.

I am not opting for a 50/50 bill spilt in anyway, but at least allow me pay for the little ones I can afford. It’s more like allow me feel useful to you and the home financially. I know we women do a lot of other things in the home that makes us totally overly useful and dependable. But when we are talking financially how do you fill in the gap?

Do we swap financially assisting the home for the many other things we do as women in the home? Or should financial assistance and bill splitting be a whole different topic from the many other ways women are useful to the home? Not forgetting women who are even the sole bread winners of their homes(a very different topic of its own entirely)

My opinion is that, individual differences makes for this decision, to either assist the home financially or not. Take me for example, I do not think that assisting my man financially or taking responsibility for part of the bills I can afford has anything to do with my other uses around my home. Yes it’s my duty as the wife to care for my home, in the same way I want to equally feel useful financially to my man.

So, are you up for taking responsibility of some bills you can afford as a woman ?
Or you are unbothered about home finances as long as the bills are paid by your man?
Men will you be comfortable to allow your woman share a part of the bills?

I really want to know who’s with me on Bill splitting in marriage or relationship where you both live together?

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