My Coffee Choice (CinnamonCupCoffee Contest Entry!)

Doing my shopping at Sprouts one day, I saw that there was a new brand of coffee: Magick Coffee! There were three flavors, one where you could relive any memory for two days, one where you could erase any memory forever, and one where you could have a wish granted for one day. Naturally, I chose flavor C.

In my personal experience, I would say both flavors A and B would be bad for me; having CPTSD, I don't have any really great memories, and I also know firsthand that forgetting a terrible memory isn't the balm you'd imagine it is. Really, it messes things up more than anything. A bit like trying to forget your problems at the bottom of a bottle of alcohol ...you haven't healed anything.

So, option C, where you could have a wish come true for one day, was the obvious choice for me. I put the beans in my cart, went home, and made a protein shake with coffee!

After drinking it, I went to bed, because coffee makes me sleepy.

I awoke to Yuan purring in my ear, and got up to get him breakfast. I was still groggy, I thought, because everything seemed off. I stood there staring at the shelf where I keep the cans of cat food, sleepily wondering why they were at eye level, when normally I was looking up at them. I fed Yuan, and opened up the blinds. Again, my perspective was odd; I was seeing everything from above. I began to wonder if I was having an out-of-body experience, as I made myself a drink and toddled off to the bathroom.

When I turned on the light, I froze when I saw myself in the mirror. I was ...myself. I looked like how I picture myself in my head. I wasn't having an out-of-body experience, I was taller! And I looked male! Being a trans man, and a small one at that, I kind of always have had this negative thought that even if I had hormones and surgery, I would never look like how I picture myself, because it's not like taking T in your 40s will give you a teenage boy growth spurt; I'd still be a rather wee thing, just maybe a wee thing with a beard. But here I was, looking exactly like my internal image of Self, for the first time in my life.

I stood there staring at myself like I was Narcissus for a good while, before I started laughing and jumping up and down like an idiot. I ran back out to the kitchen and said, "Look, Yuan! I'm me!" and marvelled at my new, deeper voice. Yuan was more interested in his gushy fuds.

Today I manifested some cool ass shit indeed, I thought

Since this was wish fulfillment at work, my favorite outfit still fit me, and so I did my daily ablutions, did up my hair, which was still long and blond, thankyouverymuch, and went out to explore the world where other people could see me for who I really am, which was a novel experience.

I knew it was for only one day, but it was so nice to feel comfortable in my own skin, to know what that feels like, for once. I relished every moment. I stayed up all night because I didn't want to waste any part of the day sleeping.

I'm sure I would cry tomorrow, having to go back to the way I was, but I would tell everyone to go get some Magick Coffee because that stuff really works! I wondered if I drank it every day, if I could keep wishing for the same thing...