ECOTRAIN: QOTW S9.8: Did He Have To Leave Just Yet?

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_{Image by Jon Tyson From Unsplash}
"Life is an unanswered question, but let's still believe in the dignity and importance of the question."
-Tennessee Williams

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At exactly 09:00 am on the 01st of October 2020, I lost my first love and biggest cheerleader. That Thursday was a really black one. I was spending my nights with my mother in the hospital every day as my dad was hospitalized for a few weeks. After which he had surgery and was put in the intensive care unit (ICU) for a few days before he passed.

The night leading to the morning my dad passed, my mother was restless. We had fed my dad, cleaned him up, sang with him, stayed with him a bit, and prayed with him Wednesday night. Finally, my mother and I went to our room, prayed, and tried to get my mother to sleep before I could shut my eyes.

I was able to close my eyes at around 02:00 am on Thursday morning and get a little sleep. I woke up at 09:05 am to see the Chief Medical Officer of the hospital and a nurse talk to my mother in a really solemn tone in the sitting room of our private ward.

I peeked at them from the slight opening of the door separating the actual room from the sitting room but could not really pick the words they were saying as they were super quiet about it. On the other hand, my mother had a really blank look on her face and I could not make anything of her expression. I was trying to think positively and not imagine the worse had happened.

But indeed, the worse had happened. Sigh!

Soon enough the doctor and nurse stepped out and I walked into the room to meet my mother. I asked her what was going on. She gave off a huge exhale and quietly said my dad has gone to be with the Lord. I was norm, in denial, in shock, perplexed, my mind was in disarray and my heart started to race.

While I was processing this information, my mother interrupted my thoughts and asked that we go and see my dad. I held her hands and we went to the ICU. My dad laid there, looking so peaceful yet I could tell he really fought.

My love and I ❤️❤️

❤️🔷 One Question? 🔷❤️

“Why did my dad have to leave when he did?”

This question has plagued me so much and even though I have tried to find solace and closure in the answers I have given myself over time, it is still not enough.

My dad and I had so many plans together. He wanted to start a charity for his community fully funded by him and told me how he wanted me to help him manage it. He wanted to offer support to farmers and promote more agricultural activities in his community first, then spread from there. He said he was going to walk me down the aisle himself and I looked forward to that moment.

Always a guy man 😂

He had labored, toiled, hustled, and suffered most of his life. It was time for him to relax, enjoy and do the things that brought him great pleasure. He lived and enjoyed the moments when he could but he still had so much life in him.

Why did he have to leave now?

❤️🔷 The Answers That Brought Closure 🔷❤️

In this moment of grief, the answers that brought closure to me are as follows:

1. He is in a better place as he lived a good life on earth
My dad was a super generous man. Everyone that came across him had very positive things to say about him and how he treated people. He always used to say “A good name is better than riches” and he lived by that. He prioritized helping people both known and unknown. I enjoy his goodwill to this day. He left his mark during his time here.

I still hold onto your fragile hand as I hold onto you in my heart forever. I love you so much Dad ❤️❤️

2. His time on earth was up and he had to go back home
I have come to understand that for some people, it is going to be 20years while others could be 60years or even 100years on earth. Absolutely no one knows the time and the day they would journey on. We are all visitors on earth on a journey to fulfill a purpose while we are here and someday we would be called back home to give an account of how well we spent the life that was given to us.

I am getting too emotional on this post, so I will draw the curtain here.

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Thank you for your precious time!
Till I come your way again
Bye for now!

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All Photos otherwise stated are mine!