Melancholy

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The wave of melancholy, heavy and breathless, descended upon him last Thursday like a stinking albatross around his neck enveloping him in its leaden arms causing each step to be a conscious act of labor. The effort to sojourn through each day exacted a venomous toll on his mind, body, and soul and he wanted nothing more than to stand by the ocean and be able to take a deep, healing breath. But the ocean, with its familiar sounds and scents, seemed to be an eternity away….a long, almost forgotten dream that only appeared as a fleeting vapor upon his tattered and tortured memory. His sanity began to reel as he contemplated if he was even ever at the ocean….or was that a fallacy he retired to mentally when the cracks began to form at the edges of his agony.

Every cell of his being screamed for the slight respite of peace, but peace would not come….not for the foreseeable future. So endure he must….one weighted foot in front of another until the sleepless twilight fell and the night terrors began their onslaught on his fragile and feeble psyche. The nights seemed only an invitation to every demon under the canopy of heaven to arise and chew at what was left of his soul and in his fitful slumber the salty tears would flow from his sealed eyes wetting the entirety of his pillow as his clenched jaws tirelessly and mercilessly worked at a fevered pace ensuring the deep ache in his brain for the day to come.

He had walked this fated familiar path on many occasions and the only mystery left to this curse was when it might subside…when it might ease and the concrete blanket of despair might lift just slightly enough to take a deep breath. He longed so deeply for this cloud to dissipate, even for the briefest of moments where he might once again find a simple pleasure in a warm cup of coffee or the chance meeting of a familiar soul in passing that the glance of recognition may be exchanged so he would know, at least for a passing moment, that he was not alone. He lowered the burden-laden head in a silent request of the universe and continued on….one burdensome step after another, not knowing when he would feel whole again.

All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter,
Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost
-Tolkien