JEALOUSY: A Proof Of Love Or Lack Of Trust?
The plan was to put this into a video. Unfortunately, I've been unable to upload movies to 3Speak for more than three days now, and I have no idea why. It's an understatement to say it's frustrating.
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It's totally acceptable to be a little territorial when you're in a serious relationship with someone. You desire to guard what is yours. You want everyone to understand that this is your relationship and that they should not transgress limits. You want to show that special someone that you are afraid of losing him or her to anyone.
While this territorial behaviour might be charming and appropriate in moderation, it becomes an issue when it is excessive. Jealousy begins to creep in. It will continue to grow until it reaches an undesirable and toxic level.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd]
In my perspective, it cannot be one of the two. In terms of relationships, I believe it is a combination of both (proof of love and lack of trust).
I posted the topic up for debate on my WhatsApp status just to gather diverse perspectives on the subject. The bulk of the replies I received emphasized jealousy as a sign of love.
Whether we like it or not, we all have the tendency to get jealous when it comes to the people we care about. The only difference is that some of us are better at concealing and managing our emotions than others.
Here's the thing: since the beginning of time, jealousy has been associated with love. However, I believe that there are different levels of jealousy.
As I earlier mentioned, when jealousy begins to seep in, it is only a matter of time before it becomes possessive and destructive.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd)
Despite knowing that jealousy can be potentially hazardous, I still want a partner who is slightly territorial. If my partner doesn't care if other guys hit on me, there's something wrong somewhere. You must be concerned. Care, not overreact.
Extreme jealousy could be potentially abusive. It's a giant red flag that should never be ignored. And if you’re the jealous one, the one who legit cannot breathe when your partner is around people of the opposite sex, then you need to watch it.
There is a significant difference between being territorial and just being jealous. From my findings, the most common description I found for territorial is this;
***Being territorial means you don't want your partner to hang around with his or her ex because you don't trust him or her. You know your spouse will remain faithful, but the prospect of an ex attempting to get back into a relationship with him/her bothers you.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd]
Every day, I hear about horrific things individuals do to their spouses out of jealousy. There have been reports of women ending the lives of their partners over an infidelity allegation, and vice versa.
I just heard of a lady who ruthlessly ended the life of her abroad-based husband by setting fire to their home and locking him in so he couldn't escape after discovering he had a child out of wedlock.
Was he wrong? Absolutely.
Was she wrong? YESolutely
Regardless, nobody...nobody deserves to be treated that way.
Everywhere I go on social media, there's a horrifying tale of violence perpetrated by a jealous lover. Little wonder why the first suspect in any attack on a person is typically the spouse. All of these start and revolve around jealousy.
Please tell me what you think about the subject matter;
Does jealousy imply that your partner loves you, or is it a result of their lack of trust?
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JEALOUSY: Una prueba de amor o de falta de confianza
Para ser honesto, el plan era poner esto en un video. Por desgracia, hace más de tres días que no puedo subir vídeos a 3Speak y no tengo ni idea de por qué. Es un eufemismo decir que es frustrante.
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Es totalmente aceptable ser un poco territorial cuando estás en una relación seria con alguien. Deseas proteger lo que es tuyo. Quieres que todo el mundo entienda que se trata de tu relación y que no deben transgredir los límites. Quieres demostrar a esa persona especial que tienes miedo de perderla con cualquiera.
Aunque este comportamiento territorial puede ser encantador y apropiado con moderación, se convierte en un problema cuando es excesivo. Los celos empiezan a aparecer. Seguirá creciendo hasta alcanzar un nivel indeseable y tóxico.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd]
Desde mi punto de vista, no puede ser una de las dos cosas. En términos de relaciones, creo que es una combinación de ambos (prueba de amor y falta de confianza).
Publiqué el tema para su debate en mi estado de WhatsApp sólo para recoger diversas perspectivas sobre el tema. La mayor parte de las respuestas que recibí enfatizaban los celos como un signo de amor.
Nos guste o no, todos tenemos la tendencia a ponernos celosos cuando se trata de las personas que nos importan. La única diferencia es que algunos sabemos disimular y gestionar mejor nuestras emociones que otros.
La cuestión es la siguiente: desde el principio de los tiempos, los celos se han asociado al amor. Sin embargo, creo que hay diferentes niveles de celos.
Como mencioné anteriormente, cuando los celos comienzan a filtrarse, es sólo cuestión de tiempo que se vuelvan posesivos y destructivos.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd)
A pesar de saber que los celos pueden ser potencialmente peligrosos, sigo queriendo una pareja que sea ligeramente territorial. Si a mi pareja no le importa que otros chicos se me insinúen, hay algo que no funciona. Debe preocuparse. Preocuparse, no exagerar.
Los celos extremos pueden ser potencialmente abusivos. Es una bandera roja gigante que nunca debe ser ignorada. Y si tú eres el celoso, el que legamente no puede respirar cuando tu pareja está cerca de personas del sexo opuesto, entonces debes tener cuidado.
Hay una gran diferencia entre ser territorial y estar celoso. De mis hallazgos, la descripción más común que encontré para territorial es esta;
Ser territorial significa que no quieres que tu pareja se junte con su ex porque no confías en él o ella. Sabes que tu cónyuge te será fiel, pero la perspectiva de que un ex intente volver a tener una relación con él/ella te molesta.
[GIF from tenor on Peakd]
Todos los días oigo hablar de cosas horribles que los individuos hacen a sus cónyuges por celos. Ha habido informes de mujeres que han acabado con la vida de sus parejas por una acusación de infidelidad, y viceversa. Acabo de enterarme de una señora que acabó sin piedad con la vida de su marido, que vive en el extranjero, prendiendo fuego a su casa y encerrándolo para que no pudiera escapar tras descubrir que tenía un hijo fuera del matrimonio.
¿Se equivocó? Sin lugar a dudas.
¿Se equivocó ella? Absolutamente
En cualquier caso, nadie... nadie merece ser tratado así.
En todas las redes sociales hay una historia horrible de violencia perpetrada por un amante celoso. No es de extrañar que el primer sospechoso en cualquier ataque a una persona sea normalmente el cónyuge. Todos ellos comienzan y giran en torno a los celos.
Por favor, dígame lo que piensa sobre el tema;
¿Los celos implican que tu pareja te quiere, o son el resultado de su falta de confianza?
As jealousy is an emotional response to a certain situation or relationship, love and trust are fundamental factors to be able to handle such experiences.
Balance and stability is very important in order to handle and react to jealousy in the best way.
Quite an interesting dilemma my friend @omosefe, from which we can extract a lot of learning.
Greetings and thank you for sharing this post 👍🙂
A dilemma indeed. Thank you so much for your comment.
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"Virtue lies in the middle," and pertaining to relationships there is need for moderation in some things. The absence or excess of these things could actually harm the relationship or lead to something extreme.
In terms of territorialism in relationships, mhen, it's really hard to see people not take this to the extremely extremest extreme point. It is usually accompanied with 2 bags of Jealousy, half bag of Love and 1 cup of Trust.
However, there's also an issue when you don't care what happens to your spouse. It may be that you have a company of Trust dedicated to the spouse, or that your love is higher than Mount Everest. But, when you don't show some things in action, only the gods will know that you love and trust your spouse. It also gives room for failure sha...
In the same way, love in the extreme sense can be toxic also... so everything get wahala depending..
I don't know if I know what I'm saying, but wheather its jealousy, teritorialism, love, care, concern and all.... be cautious and moderate shaa...
Virtue lies in the middu
Hmmmmmmm, I get you. This love thing can be stressful sometimes yunno. I for one, want a man who is territorial to some extent, how can you not be in the first place?
As you have rightly pointed out, moderation is what matters the most. Thanks for engaging dear @ksam.
Yea, love is stressful, confusing and just one kyn.
Well, I think the issue will be understanding what you mean by territorial.
Normal Normal, partners should show a form of territorial attitude. However, when this is excess or when there is lack, then that one na where problem dey....
The way you are emphasising this territorial, I suspect it is above moderate but below excess... 🤔