ENG/ESP: If Wishes Were Horses, The Love Of My Life Would Be Mine // Si Los Deseos Fueran Caballos, El amor De Mi Vida Seria Mío
I used to be an ardent lover of love regardless of the fact that I'd been unlucky with the choices I made in the past. In fact, my favourite thing to write about is love. But, I paused for a while because the beautiful @reineesmay called me a lover girl over and over again because of the kind of articles I used to post here🤣.
Here's the thing, I met a man. Lol, yes, I know what you, yes you, I know what you're thinking-; another man? The answer is of course, have you seen me?
Solía ser un ferviente amante del amor, a pesar de haber tenido mala suerte con las decisiones que tomé en el pasado. De hecho, lo que más me gusta es escribir sobre el amor. Pero, hice una pausa por un tiempo porque la hermosa @reineesmay me llamó una y otra vez chica amante por el tipo de artículos que solía publicar aquí🤣.
Aquí está la cosa, conocí a un hombre. Lol, sí, sé lo que tú, sí tú, sé lo que estás pensando-; ¿otro hombre? La respuesta es, por supuesto, ¿me has visto?
Before I go further, I'd like you to understand that this is solely from a female's POV. They say that age is no barrier to love & frankly speaking I do agree with the notion.
In my younger days, hearing about celebrities getting married to people who were much older used to irk me. I mean, how do you at the age of fifty marry a twenty-four-year-old?
That's what I used to think. I know better now. In today's world, it's quite acceptable if the man is older, but when the woman is older, there are more than a dozen raised eyebrows and tagged a COUGAR.
Have you ever dated someone whom you're considered too old for?
Antes de continuar, me gustaría que entendieras que esto es únicamente desde el punto de vista de una mujer.Dicen que la edad no es una barrera para el amor y, francamente, estoy de acuerdo con esa idea.
En mis tiempos de juventud, oír hablar de famosos que se casaban con personas mucho mayores solía irritarme. Es decir, ¿cómo se puede casar a los cincuenta años con un joven de veinticuatro?
Eso es lo que solía pensar, pero ahora sé que no es así. En el mundo actual, es bastante aceptable si el hombre es mayor, pero cuando la mujer es mayor, hay más de una docena de cejas levantadas y etiquetado un COUGAR.
¿Has salido alguna vez con alguien a quien consideras demasiado mayor?
Some years back, I met an amazing young man. Handsome as they come, prim and proper, a hopeless romantic, sweet, funny, and everything else I always wanted. I thought I had found the one. It was all going smoothly until I came to find that I was a year older than he was.
At the time, I blamed the universe for being against me and my happiness. I questioned why I would get the bliss I craved in a man that I could not be with.
I was of the notion that I could only date a man who was older because it just felt like the appropriate thing to do. I mean, the man is supposed to be older, right?
Why? Just why couldn't he be at least a year older, maybe even a month or even a day?
Why couldn't he just be of the same age? I hated it.
Regardless, I was really considering getting into a relationship with him. We spoke at length about it and agreed that we had to let go. I didn't want to let go. I hope he knows now that it was difficult for me. I had to let go and I'll tell you why.
En aquel momento, culpé al universo de estar en contra de mí y de mi felicidad. Me preguntaba por qué iba a conseguir la felicidad que ansiaba en un hombre con el que no podía estar.
Por aquel entonces, tenía la idea de que sólo podía salir con un hombre mayor porque me parecía lo más apropiado. Es decir, se supone que el hombre debe ser mayor, ¿no?
¿Por qué no podía ser al menos un año mayor, incluso un mes o un día?
¿Por qué no podía ser de la misma edad? Lo odiaba.
A pesar de todo, me estaba planteando tener una relación con él. Hablamos largo y tendido sobre el tema y dimos fe de que teníamos que dejarlo pasar. Al principio, no quería dejarlo ir. Espero que él sepa ahora que fue difícil para mí. Tuve que dejarlo ir y le diré por qué.
The pressure was so intense that I had given myself a deadline to at least find a partner or get married, forgetting that marriage isn't something that you just jump into because you're under so much pressure to do so. Albeit, my friend was not even thinking about it because there was so much more he needed to take care of, and I understood.
Plus, where I come from women are under pressure fifteen times more than their male counterparts when it comes to getting married. During our discussion, I found out that my friend had no plans to settle down for another five years or more. I remember making light of it and laughing about it, repeatedly telling him that I’d be too old by then and he would no longer find me attractive. Also, his parents would never allow him to settle for someone older. We laughed it off.
En ese momento, yo estaba muy por delante de él en términos de educación, carrera, edad, etc. Él, en cambio, todavía estaba tratando de entender las cosas. Y, francamente, no me importaba demasiado. En cambio, prestaba demasiada atención a mis tías, que no se detenían ante nada para recordarme la importancia de casarme.
La presión era tan intensa que me había puesto una fecha límite para, al menos, encontrar una pareja o casarme, olvidando que el matrimonio no es algo a lo que uno se lanza porque está muy presionado para hacerlo. Sin embargo, mi amigo ni siquiera se lo planteaba porque había muchas más cosas de las que tenía que ocuparse, y yo lo entendía.
Además, en mi país las mujeres están sometidas a una presión quince veces mayor que los hombres cuando se trata de casarse. Durante nuestra conversación, descubrí que mi amigo no tenía planes de sentar la cabeza hasta dentro de cinco años o más. Recuerdo que le quité importancia y me reí de ello, diciéndole repetidamente que para entonces sería demasiado viejo y que ya no me encontraría atractivo. Además, sus padres nunca le permitirían conformarse con alguien mayor. Nos reímos de ello.
As we said our goodbyes, he wished me well. He wished me all of the happiness that I deserve. He wanted me to be happy. He wished he could change the situation but it’d be unfair to keep me hanging and hopeful. Time and distance change people, and he was afraid that things may go wrong in the course of our waiting for each other— better still in the course of my waiting for him.
I wish i'd fixed everything and chosen one of the most amazing young men I had ever known.
Al despedirnos, me deseó lo mejor. Me deseó toda la felicidad que merecía. Quería que fuera feliz. Deseaba poder cambiar la situación, pero sería injusto mantenerme colgada y esperanzada. El tiempo y la distancia cambian a las personas, y él temía que las cosas pudieran ir mal en el transcurso de nuestra espera mutua, o mejor aún, en el transcurso de mi espera por él.
Ojalá hubiera arreglado todo y hubiera elegido a uno de los jóvenes más increíbles que he conocido.
Have you ever dated someone your way older?
Did you ever have to let someone go because of the same reasons?
There's so much I want to write about, but writing about it makes me think about it all over again and I'm trying not to open up old bruises.
Thank you for reading!
¿Has salido alguna vez con alguien mayor que tú?
¿Alguna vez has tenido que dejar ir a alguien por las mismas razones?
Hay tantas cosas sobre las que quiero escribir, pero escribir sobre ello me hace pensar de nuevo y estoy tratando de no abrir viejas heridas.
I know I can't marry someone I'm older than and I continuously ask God not to send them my way 🤦.
One time I liked someone I'm older than and thought I could make it work, his attitude and lifestyle killed whatever hope I had, now before I get close to someone, I ask their age especially within the first day or first few days of talking.
I'm a child please, I can't come and date or marry another child 😑
It's annoying really. You're right to always ask about their age early enough. No one wants to invest so much emotions into something without a future.
I'm sorry you had to go through that ☹️🤧
Thanks b😊
You're welcome 😊
When things like this happen, it hurts for a while, so I'm sorry you went through this and it still saddens you to think about it, the good thing is that you gained experience and who knows? In one of life's twists and turns, you will meet him again, maybe now ready for something serious.
I see convenient to remind you that one of the rules of the community is to put in your title, the feeling or emotion you are talking about.
It is always a pleasure to read you, because you share with us excellent publications, we hope to see you here again soon, thank you for sharing your experience dear @omosefe a hug 🤗.
Thank you for your kind words😊. However, can you for instance show I'm supposed to have worded my title? Just so I get it right.
@jemima1996 , Hi there, I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm hoping you can explain further.
Do you mean that since the emotion I'm talking about in this article is LOVE, I should also include it in my tittle?
For instance:
LOVE: If Wishes Were Horses, The Man Of My Dreams Would Be Mine // Si Los Deseos Fueran Caballos, El Hombre De Mis Sueños Sería Mío
I read this and it was so interesting, reality based content and I found it amusing. You are right when you said that dating someone older than you is a total waste of emotions invested in him. Not only dating a younger person irks it's depleting....your energy will drain when you try to make things work .
But you see older Men or perhaps guys lol....they give you the ability to harness your attitude in a beautiful manner...now you are dealing with a man not a boy.
Aunts are always like that mounting pressure here and there phew it's absolutely normal... mine has Ben disturbing lately and what I do is to wave it with a dark humor... lmao
Theses days I just tell them "okay, very soon ma". Just so they leave me alone. They tend to forget that marriage is a lifelong commitment that we shouldn't be rushing into.
Hopefully, we will all be with the one who makes us happy and valuable. Truly, age shouldn't be a barrier but how much each partner compliments each other and work together.
True. I do agree with you. It's somewhat painful because I actually really really like the young man I cited in my write up.
Funny when I was reading this I was listening to last last by Burna boy
Love is a fickle thing so I don't think you should stress about it, although I understand that's easier said than done in our community.
I just saw your video and aah aah you dey hot😂😂👍. Maybe a 17yr old is getting himself ready for you 😂😂
Biko which video I for dey hot?🤣🤣🤣🤣 17 year old ke?! I no be COUGAR o. Plus, you're mean for this lyric you typed😅
Am I?😂😂
I just think you shouldn't give up on love neither should you rush it❤️
Beside what's the rush? Breakfast go reach all of us😂😂👍
LOL, I have tasted enough breakfast already.
😂😂😂. Life's tough
Those aunties that rush people to get married are very wicked
If for anything as an aunt I will let my niece know to take her time
Because once you are in you have to be mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for what marriage is about.
You rush in for the wrong reasons
You rush out hurt and broken.
Love isn’t the only thing marriage is about
Love isn’t even enough
Because no be everytime love dey catch person self … it a lot more than being In love.
Anyway lover girl, your person will find you and when he does you would be grateful you did not rush
I think you're right. It's not the age that matters but the person's reality and their mindset but I guess that can be rare, judging from people's experiences. It takes courage to date someone younger especially in any Nigerian society.
Sometimes I wonder why love must always be so painful, I find it extremely annoying 😂. I'm sorry you had to go through that dear ❤️❤️❤️
Wow, so much here, it's really interesting, I have dated someone I was a year older than before, Maybe because it's just a year it didn't really feel awkward.