Do I make you Uncomfortable?

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It is normal amongst friends to confide about one's concerns. I have a friend- whom we will call toxic friend who decided to drag me to her drama. Apparently, she had been in a relationship and felt attacked by her boyfriend's ex's friends. She started saying horrible things about these girls, name calling them. She started venting full time. I understand that anything involving the ex is complicated. So listened to her. I tried my best to reassure her even at the cost of me feeling her toxic nature.

I went for coffee with another friend to catch up. Amongst others, I wanted to discuss the boundaries I wanted to set for the said toxic friend. I was lobbying for help because I believe that everyone goes through something on some points in our lives. I tried to be supportive. The second friend- we will call her coffee friend told me out blank, are you happy, comfortable with what you are doing? Do you feel at peace doing that? Is it starting to jeopardize your other relationships? Are you benefiting from that? If not, then probably its time to think of getting out of the relationship.

A few hours later, I decided to speak to toxic friend to discuss how I can help her. Toxic friend decided to open an online store and wanted my help on that front too. I told her my boundaries- that I do not want name calling, swearing or anything bitch related. We will discuss the sequence of events and how to best deal with it without the drama. Before I know it, toxic friend started telling me that she is able to do it on her own. That, everyone has their own vested interest and despite coffee friend's advise for the boundaries I was trying to establish, toxic friend just cracked. She started discussing that where she came from, her business is getting bigger, known. That even if she is alone, she will be able to do this alone. That, she has the resources, experience and knowledge on how to work things out.

I did not argue with toxic friend. I allowed her to vent up her concerns. I listened patiently. I did offered ways to help her. All throughout the exchange and right after that, I have started mulling off my decision to cut toxic friend off. It is bad enough that I have to listen to her rants, apparent frustration and anger. But what had made our exchange uncomfortable was that, she admitted that she needed my help. But now that I am reverting back to " this is all I can do for you" statement, she started ranting on how she is able to do it all.

If there is something that I have learned from this incident, it is to know when to stop helping someone cause they are starting to do me harm. It made me also reflect on this: do I make other people uncomfortable? Have I gotten too familiar with others that it felt normal for me to vent out my rage and frustration?

Tonight, I am making a promise to me: to know when to stop helping, when to stay away or totally cut off connections. To ask the question, do I make you uncomfortable?