Ode to 🆄
(Edited)
Hark to me, people, and now hear me do,
I've lost a dear friend: the letter 🆄.
Yes indeed, yo🆄 listened me correct,
This is worst at best, and everything is wrecked.
For I awoke to-day to q🆄ite a big fright—
My tr🆄sty ol' typer-thing wasn't typing right!
All the pretty letters were working, save 🆄.
Down a whole vowel; my worst dreams were tr🆄e!
So "Blast!" I cried. "What crime be this?
If I'm witho🆄t 🆄, then I can't do j🆄stice
To my day job as a writer,
Or my night life as a fighter
Of everything online that's 🆄gly and sad.
I cannot tell a lie—this is really, really bad!"
So I laid myself down on the gro🆄nd for a while,
And I wept for 🆄 there in tra🆄matized style.
I h🆄rt for 🆄; yes, I missed 🆄 like a friend,
Tho🆄ght of all the things I'd never write again—
Things like f🆄nny, and y🆄mmy, and alphabet so🆄p;
H🆄mor, I. O. 🆄., and I love yo🆄.
I stayed there on the floor and time went by.
Presently eno🆄gh there was no more need to cry.
S🆄ddenly then I was str🆄ck by the tho🆄ght:
🆄 really did nothing to deserve what 🆄 got.
And j🆄st like that, my grief t🆄rned to rage
As I realized there was a war for me to wage!
🆄 did nothing wrong; 'twas the Apple God's sin!
The Apple God took 🆄—so let the battle begin!
A hex 🆄pon thee, Apple God! May all c🆄rses fall on thee!
May yo🆄 ever r🆄e the day that yo🆄 took 🆄 from me!
I will get my revenge, or I will die trying!
Either Apple God or I—one of 🆄s is dying!
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But how did the apple gods take ur u? Did you get your revenge? The suspense is killing me! Will I have to wait for the next episode? This is worse than a season cliffhanger for an HBO drama!
But enough about me, do you need another U? I can't promise anything, but I have a whole mess of laptops, all with perfectly good U's. I'd happily donate one, if the key fits.
That's a mystery. It had been in poor health for q🆄ite a while, then I woke 🆄p one morning and it j🆄st wasn't working.
Not yet. I'll keep yo🆄 posted tho🆄gh.
And I'm not s🆄re if the key is act🆄ally fixable. To be clear, the key is still there - it j🆄st doesn't type a 🆄 when I press it.
Everything is fixable, but that sounds like it would take more than a butter knife.
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Yes I think I wo🆄ld need a fork and spoon too. Or j🆄st a spork might also work.
If you're not afraid to attack your laptop with a butter knife, you may be able to remove one of your less used keys (like an extra alt (key I mean)) and replace your U key with that.
Thanks for the s🆄ggestion. I think the real iss🆄e is with whatever is 🆄nderneath the 🆄 key. The key is still there b🆄t when I tap it nothing happens.
That definitely sounds like a deeper problem, but there may still be an easy fix. Sometimes crumbs, bits of dirt, or even bugs will get under the keys, preventing them from pressing all the way down and engaging the switch. You could try prying off the top of the U and seeing if there's any cleaning to be done. Beyond that, it gets more complicated than I would want to try walking someone through in comments. There are several YouTube videos out there (probably some on other platforms as well) on laptop repair. Keyboards are usually pretty and cheap and pretty easy to fix.
Fuuuunny story. I juust pried the U key off and even thouuugh there wasn't any dirt or buugs or anything uuunder there, I am now getting even more uuuuuus than I ever couuuld have wanted.
Damn the curse of abundance!
That sounds like you have some corrosion or other contamination inside the switch mechanism. Replacement will likely be the only thing to get it like new again, unless you're into a component-level teardown and cleaning of your laptop keyboard (which could easily make things worse!).
My best thought for a quick fix: buy or borrow a cheap USB keyboard.
I thought about getting an external keyboard. But, I rather like the look of a sleek black Apple keyboard with a single glowing white hole in the middle where the U key used to be. It will make me feel extra stylish when I go into Starbucks next time.
Sounds like a great plan!
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Oh you! I hear you! And here's to you raising a glass you are what makes you, you.
Behold, I have fixed my U.
All I had to do was rip the black plastic key thing off the keyboard, and now my U's are working fine.
🤷♂
!BEER
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Hey you, did it hurt? The ripping? I see you are brighter than the others so even if it did hurt, I guess it's acceptable because of progress and becoming a better you. Although I think you already were perfect.
All part of the journey to illumination.
OH MY GOD! I am not going to tease ya by employing the letter here.
Very fnny, hilarios, entry. Thank yo for sharing it in or commnity!
yo're welcome :) thank yo for reading!
The funniest part of this is the fact that the link itself stops before u.
lol I hadn't even noticed, it must be because the "u" in the title is an emoji. Accidental comedy gold!
So sorry for your loss!
Thanks. I'll be okay I think, I still have 25 other keys to go before I'm totally destitute.
I miss my right alt key. He passed away a long time ago. A blank, dirty, white hole now where it used to be. At least it's illuminated. Makes my fucked up MacBookPro even more special.
I now have one of those white glowing holes of my own. You're right, it does kind of make everything feel more special.
Especially once little crumbs, dog hair and god knows what gets into it. It's the Bronx of my Mac.
Great. Can't wait for the downfall of my U neighborhood.
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Ah, f🆄ck! I missed this d🆄ring voting season. My apologies, 🆄.
🆄R apology is accepted :)