"GOOD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE."
I grew up in a Christian home where Christian virtues were taught. One of the tenets of our faith is that we should love and treat people with respect, love and kindness. By doing so we God will reward us in the same measure, filling our lives with goodness.
Over time, I realise that many people in my Christian community--and in life generally-- are more concerned about the rewards of being good than being good. They do not understand the importance of being kind, and kindness is only second nature--a means to an end. Deep down most people are callous, petty and wicked.
When you grow up with the notion that being good will attract good things, you end up disappointed in life because the opposite is the case most times. Bad things happen to good people and that's because they often navigate through life with a bit of naivety.
One of the hardest truths in life that I have learnt is that life isn't fair. We say this often but never truly accept it--I don't think I have fully accepted this basic truth myself. However, when things go wrong I tend to revert to this truth and it makes whatever pain or difficulty I am experiencing at that particular point in time manageable.
I recently shared a story about losing my sister, which I still consider the most painful experience. I could not make sense of it all. It took me to a dark place and I was there for a long time.
Two years after she died I lost my father. His death wasn't as painful as hers but it also plunged me deeper into darkness. Bad things were happening to me and my family and I had no one to help me navigate through it all. I was truly alone.
In retrospect, it makes sense why I am honestly not afraid of losing anything or anyone. I have rationalized the pain. I have lost almost everything I was afraid of losing, but I am still here--maybe broken in ways I cannot admit to myself but I am here nevertheless.
I have tried not to let the harsh reality of life dampen my spirit. Most people give in to the darkness. They become self-centred, callous and wicked, all in their bid to cope with life. I don't blame them. There was once a time I gave in to the darkness as well. It made a lot of sense to react to the world in the matter it has treated me.
However, I soon realized how empty it was living in contempt, manipulating people just to get what I wanted. It wasn't a life that enriched me. I also realized that I am the best version of myself when I am kind, even though for the most part I am very wary of people.
We all need to constantly fight for the little lights in our hearts. If we let the harsh realities of life change us, we end up becoming the very thing we hate. It is difficult but I can say the same for just about everything in life.
In conclusion, be good because you understand why it is important to be good. This way you stay true to your nature even when it is not profitable. We are all capable of extreme good and evil. So it is a matter of choice. Choose who you want to be today and for the rest of your life.
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Someone once said "we all posses the basic ingredients to becoming a villain, all it takes is the right sequence of events to becoming the very thing we hate".
It took willpower for you to not fall into the abyss of hate and destruction. Kudos to you for not allowing the series of events to drown you.
Yeah... Nowhere in the Bible are we promised rewards this side of Heaven for our good deeds. Nor that they are what gets us there. Rather those good deeds come from who we are.
I am sorry to hear about the pain you have suffered. My mother passed away a few years ago, and, although my life has not been easy, the pain of it almost broke me.
I think you are right -- we have to relieve ourselves of the idea that good things happen to good people. I almost lost my mind when I realized good things were happening for my abusive ex-husband while I was struggling. My world no longer made sense.
It took years for me to accept that good things happen to horrible people and that "karma" is not instant. Mean people may suffer in the after life or the next life or never, depending on what one believes. However, they often do very well.
What motivation is there for being a decent, kind human being then? Personally, I consider it an act of rebellion. It would be so easy to become hateful and vindictive. The hard road, the road of strength and courage is to continue to be as kind as we can even knowing that kindness is often punished.
Sorry about your loss. It is not easy going someone you love. The pain hardly goes away.
Wow! That must have hit hard. Sorry about that. I have seen these things happen countless times and I have learnt to live with it and just find my path--whatever that is
Spot on! It an unusual feeling going against everything life has thrown your way. I call it bass a$$!