1 TIMOTHY 5:8

About a year ago a man came to beg my mum for accommodation in our building which is still under construction with his wife and four kids. He was a neighbour and had a good rapport with my mum. He had to leave the house he was squatting because the landlord wanted to lease the apartment. He wasn’t paying rent for over two years.

I told my mum not to accept him, given our previous experience with someone who was in a similar situation that we helped and it turned into an issue for us. However, she did not listen. She has a soft spot for people in need and I guess people easily exploit that side of her.

She accepted him and he has been living in our building for over a year. Early this year he got into serious issues. He wasn’t able to deliver on the contract jobs he got and he was owing a lot of people. Almost every day someone was looking for him but he was hiding.

We only saw him late at night while he snuck into his room. We had confronted him on several occasions and threatened to evict him if he did not settle his affairs. At some point, we stopped seeing him, just his wife and kids whom he had neglected.

I left home for quite some time now due to my internship and also, I relocated to another city to cut down on my expenditure because Lagos was getting too expensive. The inflation had hit over 100%, plus I was in a friend’s house. I wanted my own space.

About two weeks ago I got a call from home that the man’s wife had slumped. My mum and brother had to rush her to the hospital and we had to cover most of her medical bills and the welfare of the children because their father was nowhere to be found.

We went on a search mission but to no avail. No one knew about his whereabouts. We were lucky to get numbers of his relatives but none have been forthcoming. We could not continue paying her bills and taking care of the kids.

Yesterday my mum called to say that she had passed away in the hospital. It was a bit of a relief but I was sad as well. I am relieved that she did not die in the house, which would have been trouble for my family and sad because she has left four kids behind, one of whom is just a year old. Her husband is still nowhere to be found.

So we are currently in a difficult position. In a saner country, things like this would be easily resolved but I am sort of afraid about what would ensue in terms of paperwork and the lives of the kids.

I wish I could help them but I already have a large family I am catering for, so I cannot assume that responsibility. The only option would be to hand them over to the government if their family isn’t forthcoming.

It is quite disheartening that a man would treat his own kids in this matter. I cannot begin to imagine the trauma they would go through if he doesn’t show up. Losing your mother and being abandoned by your father within the same timeframe is quite too much to handle. I don’t think I would have the emotional strength to withstand such a traumatic experience.

In retrospect, I am very grateful for my late father. Even when things got really tough and he was miles away on another continent, he never abandoned us. It did not seem like much then but looking back now it was everything.

Even after his passing, I have been able to keep those same values, especially during the period of his passing. I just got out of uni and had four siblings and a mother to cater for without any means to do so. But I never ran away. I was with them through it all and God saw us through those difficult times.

I will be going home soon (once i get better. I have been under the weather for the past 3 days). This isn’t the type of situation my mum can handle on her own. Plus, I want this whole situation behind us as soon as possible.