The Droplet – You Have to Or Else

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The Droplet – You Have to Or Else

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OBEY OR ELSE

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When was the first time you ever heard that command? I don’t remember exactly when I heard it first. I was a child though, and well under the age of ten. There were many things I did from fear of, "Or Else". I learned that’s how this world works. Do it, or else you’ll be punished. Punishment is executed in many forms.

I’ve done things I didn’t want to; in order avoid beatings and other fun things served up in my family during the years I grew up. Corporal punishment was a standardized favourite throughout society. At school, it was the same, to avoid being strapped or other lovely methods in routine use by teachers and principals. I would "obey" purely to avoid punishment.
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BETWEEN COLOURS

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Somewhere in my teenage years, I remember making a promise to myself. I had heard, “While you’re under our roof, it’s our rules”, too many times. I don’t recall what occurred. It was nothing serious, but it was one too many times where I was reminded that I was not in control of my own life. I promised myself that once I moved out on my own, it would be my roof, my rules.

That happened. The move was one of necessity in terms of being close to work, so a very ordinary move. Finally I had my own space in which to live how I chose. I’ve always been the kind of person that could be labeled “willful”. I walk my own path, even when I appear to be doing otherwise. While growing up, it was simply "go along to get along". Survival.
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DROPLET HIGHWAY

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No one ever explains to you when you’re a child, that this “Do it or else” thing is actually training in preparation for adulthood. I wonder how many realize they have been conditioned to blindly operate on auto-pilot without thinking. It was something I found out the hard way. I challenge the status quo. I ask questions. I mean, why can’t I ask, why can’t there be discussion and respect for each other? Does it have to be a situation of, “My way or the Highway?" People often become uncomfortable. Trigger reactive responses. Punishment for not abiding by “You have to Or Else”.
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THREAT SUGGESTION

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Better do what you’re told, or no job. Bye-bye job. That’s happened a few times. It’s sad when a boss can’t justify letting you go from a job because you find their practices unethical and harmful. They resort to lies and manipulations to accomplish the goal. It’s all about them after all. Humans are disposable when they don’t do as they are told without question.

In relationships of all types, “You have to Or Else”, often flips up fast and furious. I’m thinking of how many times I’ve allowed myself to be held hostage in various kinds of relationships for this reason. When I was younger I paid some heavy prices to avoid the “Or Else”. That never worked out well for me. Not once. I let fear run me. I let myself believe that “I had to” whatever it was. I gave my power away to someone else. I literally gave them power over me by believing, “I have to”.

The last seven or so years, I’ve pretty much finished with “You have to Or Else”. There are two effective techniques I use to break that controlling nonsense. One is to encourage the person to move on, in such a manner that they think it’s their idea to do so. The other is that I simply walk away, disappearing without warning or explanation. I’m just gone like the wind.
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DROPLET PATH

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It’s said that you should try to communicate with people, work things out, discuss. How are you going to do that with someone who is incapable of doing that? I do try though. I’ll give it my full effort. I’ll be open. I’ve learned to limit though, especially these days, when time is short. Some need severe limits. Others, it’s better to just be gone. Always, it’s best to rule oneself and never allow others to rule you.

This has been written for all the people who say to me, “I have to”. Why have you convinced yourself that you have to do whatever it is? Are the consequences worth it, or will you regret it? You can decide whatever you want. Don’t foolishly give your power away to another for any reason.

Another One Bites the Dust
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GOLDEN LIGHT DROPS

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All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron macro lens.



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71 comments
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Ive been gone for about a month... and today is my first official day BACK home after the evacuation lifted and I now have internet again (real internet and not the inconsistent frustration that i had before hahahahahahaha - but i WAS THANKFUL for even what i had - so let me not complain about it)

oh my gosh - this post... hehehe
first of all - the droplets. they are fabulous - I have a favorite.. this one

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why?

hmmm.. because they are actually not droplets. they are clear grapes on a grapevine. the grapevine is invisible to everyone but me (and you, of course hehe) but these grapes are frosty and chilled and delicious and waiting for us to pick them as the sun sets on this crisp Fall afternoon.

Should we eat more? or pick a basket and turn it to wine? Your choice! hehehee

and the "or else"...

i remember a very vivid conversation where it became so clear to me. I was a very logical and analytical child - who was also very creative and inventive... both sides of my brain seem pretty equally balanced hahaha but that got me into some... difficulties.

because i saw things clearly early on. and couldn't explain them in a way that seemed like it wasn't an aggressive challenge on authority at times.

and it truly wasn't. because I was fairly obedient and often very compliant. But when i realized that the "or else" continued with..

"You have to, or else you don't. It's your choice, and you'll deal with the consequences of your choice."

I was shocked.
I remember telling my mom, "Actually - no one can force anyone to do anything"

this became an argument because she thought I was telling "You don't tell me what to do."

and i was... but not in the way she assumed.

I was merely discovering that NO ONE can force anyone. They SAY they can. But they DO NOT.

no one can force anyone.

A person may be compelled to not accept alternative consequences.. hahaha BUT... they CAN choose those consequences in spite of the threat. or in spite of the ACTUAL actions that are GOING to come.

it is still their choice.

and when I realized this - I was immediately freed :)

I still chose to obey MOST of the time. but I realized that my obedience was my choice. and my rebellion was also my choice. The consequences were weighed and CHOSEN by me. Not ever TRULY forced onto me.

so nice to see you. i hope you feel my hug coming at you right now :)

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I know you were gone for a while. I’ve missed you. Yay for real internet!

I can see the grapevine with grapes as you’ve described. Crystalline grapes maybe? I vote for eating more and making wine.

"You have to, or else you don't. It's your choice, and you'll deal with the consequences of your choice."
I remember telling my mom, "Actually - no one can force anyone to do anything"
it is still their choice.
and when I realized this - I was immediately freed :)

Very perceptive of you at a young age. Immediate freedom is exactly what occurs.

I don’t do “obey” at all. My approach to life is one of living in agreement with my inner guide and connection to the Infinite. It’s a partnership. This is the direction I listen to, not outside sources.

I feel your hug and return them back to you! Thanks for stopping by and leaving me such a beautiful comment. Really glad you enjoyed the photos. The one you picked, is one of my favourites. 😊🤗

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for some reason - i did NOT get this notification!!!

I was like heyyy i haven't heard from @nineclaws hehehehe so i came to this post and here you are!!!!!!!

hehehe yes- crystal grapes! @bluefinstudios has this picture of a dolphin that he took - and the water is coming up around the dolphin at a fast speed - and to me - I just see a glass dolphin! hehehe its my favorite picture of his!!! :) maybe he will come share it. You might see it too since we tend to think alike/see alike! heheh i hope you do because I think its magical! :)

and yes - crystal grapes are meant to be eaten and more wine please. and regular wine makes my skin hurt. (don't ask why .. i have no idea hahaha) but CRYSTAL wine is SPECIAL!!! AND I can drink it until the cows come home hehehehehe

and yes - i actually even remember THINKING.. "this is kinda something that it seems most adults don't even understand" WHEN i thought it at that young age. It almost felt like I had discovered a secret???? and it felt both shockingly illegal and sweetly sensical. hehehe is that a word? i made it a word LOL

and i knew you didn't do obey - from those wild stories you've shared hahahahahahahaa

thank you for the returned hug. i needed it today :) so i'm glad I came looking for where I knew I would find it! hehehehehe

if you feel like it - come look at some photos that I'm "about to" post. hehehe there is some magic in them! hehehe (if you're reading this super fast - give me like 20 minutes hahaha) it will be a sublimesunday post :)

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@nineclaws
I think this is the Dolphin Pic, miss DreemSteem is talking about?
Not the first one in midair, but the second Crystal Dolphy she sees

COASTW DolphinJump.jpg

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yessssssssssssssssssssss

do you see the second dolphin in the back @nineclaws !!!!!!
is that freaking amazing or what! hahahahahahahaha

a regular dolphin in front - and a glass one in the back!!!! hahahahaha

thank you @bluefinstudios !!! :)

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I see it! It's an amazing shot, truly. I'm thinking of water now as crystal like. Thank you too @bluefinstudios!

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Love the colouration on the first one and YES, I see the crystal dolphin! Wild shot with incredible timing. This crystal thing is making me think differently about water. Another perspective.

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I'll have to check out @bluefinstudios's dolphin, I see he's posted below.

Crystal wine is the best. I made my own special brew once 😉.

It almost felt like I had discovered a secret???? and it felt both shockingly illegal and sweetly sensical. hehehe is that a word? i made it a word LOL

It's very much like discovering a secret. Love the "sensical", now made into a word, by your magic. 😁

and i knew you didn't do obey - from those wild stories you've shared

I can see it's getting obvious. 😂😂😂 I'm holding back on the truly wild, wild, stories of nightmarish quality.

I'll most definitely check you your photos.
Sends several more 🤗🤗🤗 to you

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I would've been either kindergarten or somewhere before I got yanked outta first grade—principal spanked me with a paddle. I told my mom about it and she went down there, completely lost her shit. I remember thinking how funny it was until she wouldn't stop and then it kinda got embarrassing.

They didn't hit me anymore.

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Thank You sir... May I have another.

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Come to think of it, I was "Hit" a lot as a child.

Hmmmm..?

Might be time for another Dr. Dee & Ays therapy session..?!?

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Can we get a cup'0 Joe or what? How often you cruise the 40 through Knox?

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Times they be a changin'...

And Knoxville seems soooo faaaar awaaaayyyy...
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My circle has become so small. (Operational zone)

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I can stretch my arms out and nearly touch both sides. I hate going more than a couple Hundo Milos from homo.

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Too much bad shit is happening, and much more on the way. I want to be able to make a suicide run for the Pookyville Cat Ranch when the communist fraudsters flip the switch.

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Well since you out it that way. I have a clear moving picture now cap'n thank'ye.

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Slow on the draw. I keep telling you crap is crappening and you keep crap challenging.

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(Edited)

I spend enough time wasting time on things out of my control when I'm not thinking about it like oxygen.

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You're not wasting time controlling the uncontrollable but not thinking about not controlling wasting time on crapulence?

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I have no idea what you said.

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(Edited)

I lost you in the circles. Score!

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I am a simple man...

I like pictures, moving or non moving.

They are usually worth a thousand words...

or more...

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Speaking of Simple Man, we got pretty good seats to the Skynyrd concert next month.

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I thought they did the farewell tour thing..?

I have seen them several times. Always a good show.

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This is their farewell. Dude we're catching two farewells soon, the next is next summer in Liverpool—Elton John. His last show of the tour.

Yeah that's gonna be a fun weekend. Neither of us have seen Skynyrd and we're meeting up with @plantstoplanks in North Carolina the following day. That weekend shouldn't suck.

Not sure wtf I that stuff is I keep reading about online they're calling lockdown or lockup or licklock, talklock, whatever....

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Elton was an Early Fave of mine. When I was like 12 years old, My first record player. Yep, Vinyl.

I got three full sized albums.

1.Kiss-Alive 2,
2.Queen-News of the World,
3.Elton John-Greatest Hits Vol. 2

I still know every word to Bitch is Back, Island Girl etc.

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That's a neat trick you do how you keep getting cooler.

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I hate going more than a couple Hundo Milos from homo.

You're so far away from your homo in Knoxville. I think you need to charge @dandays triple mileage plus a risk factor surcharge to cover that therapy session.

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(Edited)

My Boy Dee has walked mountain biked thru Hell and has the scars to prove it.

I respect that as I have my own hell ride history.

We both are all MAN, and secure enough about it, that we can joke around about ourselves and the others who are gender confused.

It is all in fun. Hey... We may someday break bread and have some laughs in person somewhere on this planet. Maybe even with you 9!!

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My Boy Dee has walked mountain biked thru Hell and has the scars to prove it.

I've seen. Those x-rays are burned on my brain. I'm surprised he's able to walk at all, quite frankly.

I'm not going to test the all man theory. I can see the proof in the pudding.

Stop teasing me with bread. I'm allergic to it, crave it and can just taste those buns. I'd have to serve up my fermented wheat free buckwheat bread for breaking bread. No, it does not taste like hummus at all.

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LoL... Hummus.

Silly name, horrible taste.

Oh yes, that knee of @dandays is fu&##d...

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LOL, if you hum while you eat it you won't hurl it.

Oh that's just so wrong, that knee x-ray. That's quite explicit with tail included.

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Do you think it's weird that the people who send X-ray images like the one screened above are the same kinda people who rock shirtless selfies for avatars? No one ever thought "it's a chick!" when someone said shirtless avatar.

And do you think it's weird that dudes shave their armpits today and chicks don't? Or dudes wear tight pants and chicks don't? I see dudes at the gym nowadays rockin booty shorts. I'm not making that up.

How did I get here and did you think I'd ask this many questions. I sure did not.

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No one ever thought "it's a chick!" when someone said shirtless avatar.

The rules in Canada are different. Law here is that women can go topless, for many years now. You need to update your Canadiana.

As you know full well, I'm not micro-inspecting anyone's armpits, or checking out tight pants on anyone. I wear blocker glasses for a reason you know.

How did I get here and did you think I'd ask this many questions. I sure did not.

Ask all questions. All will be answered.

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Rules are like that in a bunch of places. I've stayed in cities throughout Ca where naked is legal. With or without laws yata yata, only dudes have shirtless selfies for avatars. And I'm willing to bet shirtless avatar dudes are single. And have been for a long time.

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It's called advertising the assets.

And have been for a long time.

Buyer's market.

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WTF.!?!?

I just saw this...

Am I wrong to be as disturbed by it as you obviously were... Lmao

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Everything's fucked now. The world is fucked. Look around, welcome! You're surrounded by people who approve action thriller movies with rape and murder and kidnapping and police brutality and protest in groves against fucking comedy!

I'm @dandays and I approve this message.

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I am @krazzytrukker and I approve this also...

Sounds a little questionable with my screen name... Juss' Sayin'

Probably not a good promo..?

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You notice I stayed away from the tasty buns comment..?

"Stop teasing me with bread. I'm allergic to it, crave it and can just taste those buns..."

That was a game winner you served up to me there. Too easy... Had to pass.

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🤣 I couldn't help myself.
passes the butter

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(Edited)

If'n when I do. You will know about it...

Live at 5 on the Hive...

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I need to know too. I definitely need to know.

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You'll need to schedule your therapy session properly and a cup'o Joe (especially the pink kind) costs extra, right @krazzytrukker?

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You got paddled? Wood is more hurty, from my experience. Your mom really loved you, so obvious. Of course they wouldn't hit you after that. I can imagine the whole scene.

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ROFLLLLLLLLLLlll when moms go from heroes to.. ok please stop.

hahahahahahahahahaha

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Damn. I grew up in a Do it or else culture and all I gotta say is you gotta get outta there, or else.

P. S. SICK PICS

!PIZZA

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I think one would have to divorce the system completely to accomplish that. I'm seeing about my divorce papers now.

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my post. Glad you liked the pics, it was a steamy set up to photograph in. Thanks for leaving crazy @otherbrandt off on his own. 😜😂

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Last I heard he's out wandering around the woods somewhere. Probably lost. Hopefully lost.

I'm seeing about my divorce papers now.

The system is a dick. Definitely divorce it if you can.

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I don't think he'll stay lost for long.

The system is a dick. Definitely divorce it if you can.

I've been waiting for the right timing. I was given every reason just under two years ago. I kind of "snapped" so to speak. 😉

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Sometimes all a person needs is a good snap to get refocused and find a better path to walk.

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I was waiting for that "snap" in response to that planned thing for just over ten years. Absolutely refocusing and finding a whole different path that is well, very different. Got any outdoor laundry tips without soap?😉

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Baking soda will do the trick. And it doubles as toothpaste :)

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Hahaha, I've been using baking soda forever. I was thinking in terms of roughing it a lot more roughly.

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Well your guess is as good as mine then. I use laundromats mainly. But if I had to really rough it I would look for running water to soak my dirty clothes in overnight then wring them out and hang to dry in the sun the next day. Of course that assumes one has access to running water and sunshine.

Next best guess is, just wear the clothes till you can't bear the smell anymore, then go to the thrift store and buy more.

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😂😂😂 A laundromat is something I'd consider a luxury. Soap is a luxury even, if that makes sense. Yes, I have soap and use it. I'm letting my mind explore the wilderness these days. 😉

I like the idea of picking up new used clothes. I'm all too practiced at that already. There are soap berry bushes, but I've not seen those where I am. There's a way to smoke your clothes with some plant material, but I can't recall what it is now. A smooth rock, used gently with water will get out most stains.
I spend my time here learning and doing all kinds of weird crap.

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Great Photography.

Water on the windshield usually makes for a rough day at the office for me.

Or else...

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Thank you @krazzytrukker! Oh yeah, definitely rough day at the office for you when it's raining. I'd be an epic fail without any rain.

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