Freewrite on Ugly Motherfuckers

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1.
One time I was on a commercial bike (It is simply a taxi but instead of a car, what is used is a bike. Stuff like these exists in some parts of my country Nigeria).

Soon, some policemen stopped us and were interrogating the rider. I didn't know this rider from Adam, he was just a commercial motorcyclist but in the course of the interrogation the rider said I was his brother and we were coming from the park. As he said this the policemen responded by staring at us, studying our faces as if to check whether there was any resemblance. Then, everyone knows I'm a good-looking guy, this bike rider on the other hand was a hideous motherfucker, to say the least. So in order to even the score and help the bike rider I started squeezing my face slightly to look a little close to the ugliness this biker was wielding. It must have worked because the police men didn't pursue the matter any further.

2.

How Ugly Motherfuckers Get Married

When you meet an ugly motherfucker for the first time, you'd be like 'yo, this motherfucker's so fucking ugly! Fuck!' But if you have to spend time around this motherfucker, say in your work-place or somewhere, you begin to converse with this motherfucker. Soon you begin to accept the motherfucker. Soon you begin to be like 'Yo, you know, this motherfucker ain't that bad, you know, this motherfucker is human too.'

Then before you know it you're friends with this motherfucker. Before you know it you and the motherfucker are hanging out and sharing good times. Before you know it you're kissing this motherfucker. Before you fucking know it, you're fucking this motherfucker and the sex is good. Before you fucking know fucking it you and the motherfucker are getting married!

3.
Why do we always suspect the ugly motherfucker nearest us when we smell a fart in public?

Giphy!

4.
I had a friend when I was little, he was always talking about the health benefits of the bitter and less tasty foods, like cabbages, etc. I couldn't take any of that talk from him and I stuck to my sweet/delicious foods. I always thought there was no need to sacrifice all that sweetness for some vitamins/minerals that you only hear about but haven't really seen at work the way you've seen the pleasure from food at work. This little guy always told me it was great for us as children, that we were still growing and needed them to develop strong and good-looking features.

I'm an adult now and after these many years I just saw the guy like last week, the the ugly motherfucker still has his funny cheekbones and irregularly shaped head. So much for all those vitamins and minerals he sacrificed for😢.

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_{Hey @lols, that's it for the fuck June challenge, I wish you more tasty toilet seats and other crazy shit you're into}

Hey, roll with @nevies, my blog is a Humor, deeper thoughts and sex talk blog here on Hive🌚

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