Memoir Monday - Week 4: My biggest decision: to stay in Venezuela

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Image from my personal gallery edited in Canva

My biggest decision: to stay in Venezuela

I don't know where to start, so maybe I should start from the beginning. It was the year 2000, the beginning of the century, and the world had not ended as some religions had predicted. I had just graduated and I was a girl with all the desire to eat the world. My family was doing well: my parents had bought a country house to start their retired life after working for more than 30 years and my brothers were working in their own jobs. But at that time the country was beginning to be ruled by a military autocrat, who had all the skills of an actor and a magician.

Unlike many Venezuelans, I didn't buy into the government's story of a "beautiful revolution". So I made the decision, an easy one at the time, to leave the country to continue studying, prepare myself, and perhaps, in the future, return to work or come as a tourist. With this in mind, I applied for a scholarship to study in Spain.

Until the end, I kept my decision to leave a secret, because if you want something to happen, you don't have to say much about it. So it was that in 2002 I went on holiday and in the middle of my trip I received the news that would change my life: my father's kidneys collapsed and he had to start dialysis three times a week.

My father who had taken care of me, who had always been a loving, responsible, hard-working father, was ill. I did not hesitate to cut short my holiday and return home, aware of the role I had to take on, together with my mother and siblings: caring for my father.


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I remember that in December of that year I received a reply to my application. I had been approved for the scholarship. Rather than rejoicing, I was scared to death to imagine being away from my family at that moment, so I simply deleted the email as if it were a virus, and I felt, as never before, relieved to be in my country.

With the care of the family and their will to live, my father positively battled his illness for 12 years. 12 years that may not have been the easiest in Venezuela, but the country's economy had not yet hit rock bottom, so we managed to fend for ourselves as best we could. In those 12 years, I never, ever regretted not having left. On the contrary, every day, I was thankful that I had stayed and helped my family in every way.

But my father died in 2016 and we were literally left with nothing: we didn't know what to do without that fundamental pillar that supported the house. Not to mention that at that time Venezuela entered one of the worst economic crises of this century and its population could not find food: the famous 2017 arrived.


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As my mother is an old woman and my other sister was ill, I was in charge of going out into the streets and queuing endlessly, putting on a backpack and looking for food. Transport did not work, there was no food, and if there was, it was very expensive. Indispensable products such as flour, coffee, milk, meat, oil, were luxury goods and could only be found in the "black markets" with hyper-inflated prices. Like any delinquent, I carried my bag to buy some coffee, milk, flour and I hid it for fear of being robbed.

At that time I lost many kilos and the skin that used to tan on the best beaches in the country, now toasted under the sun looking for food. Of course, many times I cried in the darkness of my room, tired, sad, upset about what was happening, but the next day I started my daily battle with the same energy as always. Even so, at that moment, in the midst of the crisis, I never, ever regretted staying in my country because I was certain that my presence was fundamental at home.


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There is a saying that God squeezes, but does not hang. And so it was that Steemit came into my life in 2018, which would later become HIVE. By chance and without much hope, I signed up for this platform and overnight, there was food on the table in my house. Unusually, I remember that I was working to make $10 a week and that was enough to buy protein, vegetables and carbohydrates. Then, a group contacted me to make posts for the @adsactly account and they gave me a percentage for each post, something like $5 for each post. I felt like a millionaire and happy. That 2018 I painted the house, bought clothes for my mum and sister, and we even put up the Christmas tree again.


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At the beginning of this year 2024, my nephew, a beautiful 18-year-old boy, a sportsman, a good student, a good son, a good everything, was diagnosed with cancer. Like a tree that is the victim of the harshest storm, this news broke me, froze my veins, left me without leaves. But as it should be, all of us in the family dried our tears, hugged each other and made a tight circle around him, to care for him, to protect him, to love him. Right now, he is our priority, without a shadow of a doubt.

Many people will say that if we are out of the country we can help with money, medicine, food to those who are in here. That's certainly true. That is a fundamental help. But we also need that human help, the daily embrace, saying to the other person: "go to sleep, I'll stay with him", "I'll do it for you", "I'm here with you, don't be afraid". That is worth the world.


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It makes me angry because over the years I have become weepy and as I write this, I am crying. I am crying out of helplessness, but also out of happiness for not having left at that time. I know myself and I know that I would have been in another country, wanting to be here, with my people. I know that right now, at this moment, we don't have all the weapons to fight all the monsters that await us, but we have us, the family, united, solid, each member playing their part, aware that this disease is a race of speed, but also of endurance.

Sometimes I joke with my family and say that if I had left the country, the round-trip plane tickets would have ruined me. Instead I am here, in my country, and all I have to do is take a bus or walk and I am with them, and I happily tell them: I am here for whatever they need me for.

With this post I join my great friend @ericvancewalton's weekly initiative: #memoirmonday. This text tries to answer the question: What is a small decision you made in your life that ended up having a big impact on your life? If you want to participate, here is the invitation link.

All images are from my personal gallery and the text is by me, translated in Deepl.

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Until next time, friends

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(Edited)

Somewhere I read in the December of 2023 that Brazil moved its army to the Venezuelan border, and that the reason of the conflict is the oil.

Hopefully it will not turn into a war.

Stay healthy, stay strong, stay safe.

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Surely there are many interests involved! In the meantime, it is the population that suffers. Thank you for your comment. Regards

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Your family is so lucky to have you, Nancy. What a warrior you are! I'm sorry that you've all had to go through the struggles because of politicians and the failing economy but am happy you've found Steemit/Hive.

My decision was the opposite of yours, I almost wrote about it during my Week 4 prompt. I chose to move away from my family in 1995. Although I found success in my career and I've kept close with my family the decision will always haunt me. I've been able to help them quite a bit financially but we're lucky if we see each other two times a year. That part has been a real struggle. As much as I try to be a part of the younger relative's lives there's just too much distance. You have made the right decision. If I had it to do all over again I would probably choose differently. When you're young you feel as though time is unlimited, now almost thirty years have passed since I've left.

This is a wonderful contribution you've made to Memoir Monday, thank you for it. Have a wonderful weekend!

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Yuuuuuuupi!!!! My friend, I'm happy because this is the first time you read and comment on a post of mine. I am pleasantly surprised. Thank you.
I didn't say it in my post but I've had the opportunity to leave over the years, but after thinking about it, I always say no. Just in 2022, I had the chance to leave, but a passport problem stopped me. How much of a coincidence is that? How much is causality in this life? Anyway, I am infinitely grateful that Hive is here and that there are people like you. A strong and sincere hug, my friend

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I'm sorry I've never commented before! We started seriously considering moving away from the US between 2016 and 2018 but it just never worked out. Now, it's more difficult than ever to do so. I guess there are, sometimes, unforeseen reasons that only reveal themselves later. I hope you're enjoying your weekend! The snow is finally all melted here and spring is on our doorstep!

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That is excellent news! With spring comes endless possibilities and better weather to do everyday things. A hug

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